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mothman come pick me up, I’m scared

@gentlemanbutch / gentlemanbutch.tumblr.com

Disabled butch transmasc dyke trying to survive in the South. Random collection of everything, really. they/he, ze/hir. 25, 18+
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tumbwr

my apologies if this has already been posted here but im sharing this. here is what someone said on twitter along w this image:

the central image text reads: “@everyone I HAVE BEEN RELIABLY INFORMED GUARDIAN JOURNALISTS ARE SNOOPING AROUND ASKING FOR TRANS PEOPLE TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT DIY HRT. THEY ARE PARTICULARLY LOOKING FOR UNDER-18S DOING DIY. SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE SAID, BUT DO. NOT. ENGAGE. SPREAD WIDELY. DO NOT ENGAGE. WE NEED THIS NOTICE SPREAD OUT VIA EVERY GRASSROOTS SUPPORT GROUP AND SOCIAL CIRCLE IN THE COUNTRY.

URGENT. IF THEY GET EVEN ONE TO TAKE PART IT BECOMES A NATIONAL CONVERSATION. TOP ALERT.

Guardian journos are apparently asking trans people about DIY. Trans followers: DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO THEM. NOT A WORD.
I also know I’ve got cis mutuals who have written for the Guardian. Please know I’ve always thought less of you because of that.

- https://x.com/TownTattle/status/1781045092049928551

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trans-ralsei

reblogging to add the Trans Safety Network guidelines for media engagement

do not engage with the Guardian if you’re trans and a minor. do not speak with the Guardian on DIY HRT.

heck, unless the journalist is reputable and has a track record of good reporting on trans issues, do not speak with them about DIY HRT. seek out your local organisation if you are approached by a journalist.

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The way my parents speak to me about my OCD is honestly astonishing after seeing the way total strangers react to others with OCD. Like yes, you get the assholes who don’t get it and think intrusive thoughts are evil/purposeful thoughts we want to be having, but so many people are sympathetic and talk about how awful it must be to have OCD. And…yeah! It is! It nearly fucking killed me as a teen! And you would *hope* that the people who have watched how it has impacted me from my early childhood would, idk, remember it exists and want to be sympathetic when I express that something is bothering me, but they just laugh at me and treat me like a paranoid freak.

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Ya know what shout out to butches who wrestle with our butchness because we don’t fit the mold in some way. Butches who aren’t physically strong or naturally caretaking because of physical disability, who need to be cared for, who can’t hold open the door for a femme. Butches with long hair, butches with big hair, butches who express their culture via their hair. Butches who’s masculinity is shaped by their culture, who’s masculinity doesn’t fit the white eurocentric mold. Fat butches, butches with curves viewed as feminine, butches who don’t have skinny, boyish builds. Butches who don’t want to be sexualized, butches on the ace spectrum. Butches who don’t have traditionally masculine interests or mannerisms or whatever. Effeminate butches. Butches who take inspo from gay men. Butches who like the occasional dress or skirt. TRANSFEM BUTCHES!!!!! And any other butches who don’t fit a certain mold!! All butches are good butches and we are all valid.

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medusadyke

dykes read Fucking Trans Women challenge

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knightofcup

when i read this zine some time ago i was struggling to accept my sexuality. i never had sex ed in school growing up in south america, so all i had was the cultural knowledge that i was an object for the penis to go in. when the penis goes in, i was told at age 9, it will hurt so much you wont be able to think about anything else but the excruciating pain and im telling you this so you can prepare yourself, so you don't make any noises of pain to distract the man from his pleasure. when i read romance and erotica novels as a teen i'd think the orgasm the women characters described were a fantasy. yeah as in i didn't believe in the existence of (female) orgasm. no joke. so when i started questioning that i might be a lesbian... well. how the fuck was i supposed to pleasure a woman if they're unpleasurable??? i was panicking. like really, a lot. i mean as an adult i had found out about the clit and i had found out the female orgasm was in fact a real thing, but i could never fuck women the way a man would. i didn't know then that was a good thing, that that's sort of included in the "desire for women" part of lesbianism. that i had to relearn everything i thought i knew about sex, gender roles and sexual organs. but at the time i just thought every woman id fuck would wish i had a penis, and resent me bc i didn't. i thought theyd find me lacking and that i wouldn't be able to pleasure them without it. and then i read this zine. jesus fucking christ. Mira Bellwether tells us how she prefers to fuck her gfs with dildos instead of her real life penis right around the same page she reveals shes a lesbian. i felt like crying. i think i actually did. heres a woman with a penis, here's what i thought i had to be all this time to fuck women properly and she didn't even use the damn thing. she used her penis as a clit fuck me. do you even get it. she talks about how a real penis doesn't have the range a dildo does bc its softer. i think i will never forget what i felt when i read that. the drawing of a woman using a strap on with her penis hanging on top like a giant clit is gonna be branded on the inside of my brain until i die. my entire understanding of my sexuality is tied to this zine. my understanding of what turns me on and what doesn't, of what sex could be like, my acceptance of myself, of my body, of my desire for women. it turned my whole world upside down. without the trans perspective id never come to terms with my lesbianism and id never learn to define my sexuality in a way that works for me

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rubynyoro-n

That link is dead so here's the archive

Mira Bellwether passed last year. A legend of transfeminine and lesbian sexuality, and she died, and so many have yet to mourn her.

Please, read her zine. Learn how to please (and be pleased by) trans women. And when we tell you that we're lesbians, believe us. We literally wrote the book on this shit.

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blushedfemme

idk what it says abt me that i get mildly turned on by the thought of taking care of an exhausted, drained, bone-tired butch.

i wanna take off their shoes and pants, not in a sexual way, in a “lemme do this for you” way, wrap them up in a blanket and give them some food with protein and fats to balance out their blood sugar plus a glass of water and then a hot drink, herbal tea with milk and honey, or cocoa. and after they’ve finished i lead them by the hand to get comfy on the couch. let them lean back against my chest so they can rest upright while they digest and won’t make their tummy feel sick from laying down too fast. i gently help them out of their shirt and then take off my own so we can be skin-to-skin with the blanket wrapped around us. and while they’re resting in my arms like this i wanna give them head scratches, a lil ear massage, nothing forceful, just soothing touch. i give them options: they can vent about their day, or i can tell a silly story to distract them, or we can listen to relaxing music, or just be in silence, whatever feels best in that moment. and then i let my hands and fingers and nails ease their overworked mind into a state of calm. and as they get comfy we slowly slide down until they’re laying on top of me with their head on my chest. i slow the movement of my hands. i rub their back, timed in rhythm with their deepening breath. and then i get to just hold them while they sleep.

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I kinda lived half of 2023 (maybe more) like a drowning rat in a bucket but this year I'll live like a normal rat. outside of a bucket

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I have to talk on the phone a lot for work, and every so often I get to talk on the phone with other autistic people...which is an absolute delight, except my ability to talk on the phone goes completely out the window. It's like I can mask/mimic things better when I'm talking to an allistic person, but when I'm on the phone with another autistic person, there are going to be a ton of awkward pauses and interruptions and it's going to be weird. But also very nice, because they don't seem to mind.

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reblogged

the way that no one wears a mask at my local LGBTQ clinic, and in fact comments on my mask like it's just this hilarious little idiosyncrasy that I still wear one and not because I'm immunocompromised and we're in the middle of a pandemic ... as if there isn't an airborne virus that literally fucks up your immune system ... as if we didn't lose a generation of queer people to another virus that fucks up your immune system ...

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nnellowdrama

it's soo awful. seeing queer leftists just shrug off taking precautions in the wave of peer pressure.. does no one know their history??? we have to take care of each other. PLEASE mask up. there is new research saying that there are two phases of COVID- acute and chronic, and both can be either symptomatic or asymptomatic. it wreaks havoc on your T-cells. 60% of cases are asymptomatic. repeat infections do NOT give you immunity, in fact they make your risk of complications even higher. COVID gets in your lungs, your blood stream, your brain, everywhere. it can lie dormant for months. we still don't know the full "long-term" consequences of infections.

the government is leaving us in this mess. we have to take care of each other. as testing clinics get shut down and more people are forced back into danger, a good respirator is the easiest thing you can do to keep yourself safe. look for kn95 or n95 masks (respirators). these will keep you sooo much safer than a "baggy blue"!! if you need some immediately, check a walgreens for a pack of three 3m auras. otherwise, i highly suggest projectn95.org. they have some on sale right now.

this is a good resource that compiles a lot of available research in easy to to understand language. taking care of yourself, your communities, and resisting death in the face of government apathy is punk rock!!!

Queer people: *uncritically posts 'silence is death' AIDS stuff while ignoring their disabled or otherwise covid cautious peers because *checks notes* covering your face is somehow too much to ask.*

bonafidemasks.com also has colorful kn95s and great deals and there are huge coupon codes almost monthly if you sign up for emails

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sn0o

This is why it’s dangerous to only attribute ableism to one group of people. It exists everywhere

Answering frequently asked questions/comments:

  • If no one else is masking, does it matter if I mask?

Yes.

"Unlike a cloth or surgical mask, an N95 respirator (as well as similar products, like a KN95 or KF94) is specifically designed to filter out the tiny viral particles that stay suspended in the air when exhaled by someone who's infected — and not just the larger respiratory droplets that spray out like cannonballs and fall to the ground at close range. Lots of studies dating well before the coronavirus pandemic, in the laboratory and in workplaces, demonstrate that fit-tested respirators protect the wearer from hazardous airborne contaminants."
  • Disposable masks aren't affordable for me.

Totally relate -- if I were tossing my disposable masks after one wear, I wouldn't be able to afford them. But thankfully, you can actually reuse most disposable masks until they wear out (the straps stretch out, the mask itself gets wet, etc.). The People's CDC explains what masks are best, how long you can use them, and how to get the best fit.

You can also invest in reusable elastomeric masks. I haven't tried these personally but have heard good things about them.

  • XYZ masks aren't comfortable for me.

Understandable! We all have different face shapes, sensory needs, etc. Great news -- there are tons of masks available. Do some research before purchasing a mask if you're worried about fit. Many people on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok review masks with in-depth commentary about fit, comfortability, etc.

  • Project 95 shut down.

Correct, you can no longer order from them. However, as of Jan. 17, the website is still up, and will redirect you to other suppliers for specific masks. You can also get masks from hardware stores and local mask blocs (Google your city/state and "mask bloc").

  • COVID isn't that bad.

There are mountains of research disproving this. Some of those articles have been linked in the notes of this post. You can find more with a very simple Google search. *Everyone* is vulnerable to it, but especially people in marginalized groups. Also, we are in the second biggest surge ever here in the United States (again, as of Jan. 17).

Does the wearing a disposable surgical style mask with a cloth reusable mask on top still work or is the N95 mask the only way to stay safe?

And for those with asthma or other raspatory issues who have used N95 masks what has been your experience and is there any advice or anything I should be aware of?

Glasses wearers how are N95 masks in terms of fogging your glasses up?

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shofarsogood

As far as I know, the surgical over disposable is slightly better than nothing, but it's still not great. N95 is much better, although obviously cost is a huge issue.

The biggest thing is air filtration. Being outside or having an air purifier is pretty much the best thing you can do besides vaccinating and wearing a mask. You can find how to make a makeshift purifier from a box fan and air filters here.

If your mask fits correctly, your glasses should not fog. Fogging is a sign that water droplets are escaping, which means your mask is improperly fitted and has gaps. Make sure your mask has metal on the top and pinch it around your nose to form a proper seal.

I would agree, anything is better than nothing. But KN95s, KF94s, and N95s are all better. Look for local mask blocs -- even if you don't have one in your city, sometimes they'll ship around the state!

In terms of glasses fogging, that CAN mean it's not fitted properly, but doesn't always (I don't remember where I read this but I'm sure there's a source out there that explains this in depth). My 3m aura N95 tends to fog my regular glasses a little, but not my stoggles -- so I wonder if part of it is the fit of my glasses more than my mask (the stoggles sit differently on my nose).

I don't have asthma but have long COVID, and deal with shortness of breath sometimes. A 3M aura can be hard to wear in hot environments or for long periods of time (though I do it when need be); KF94s have felt less restrictive. I feel safer in an Aura, but if I'm in an environment with good air flow, I'll wear a KF94.

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azuremist

TME and TMA as intersexist terms: as written by an intersex transfem

I’ve had a few different people in my inbox asking me why I view these terms the way I do. In particular, why I claim it’s intersexist. So, I thought I’d lay out a few examples, so everyone can understand where I’m coming from.

Imagine an intersex woman. She was assigned female at birth by her doctors, and was able to go about her childhood as a woman with no inclination that anything was amiss. Sure, she didn’t experience certain parts of puberty, but puberty was different for everyone, right?

But, later in life, she learns she has Turner syndrome. This is an intersex condition where a woman has only one X chromosome, rather than the usual two.

Soon after she learns this, she finds that laws are being made to attempt to keep trans women out of women’s spaces (often specifically sports) which use chromosomes as a defining factor of womanhood.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected”? She has been raised as a cisgender woman with no problems regarding being ‘clocked’, but she is also a direct target of transmisogynistic laws. She lies in a gray area.

Now, let’s go to another intersex person. Imagine an intersex man with PAIS. AIS is an intersex condition where babies are born with testes and XY chromosomes, but their body is immune to or can’t respond to androgens (which includes testosterone). Intersex people with partial AIS (PAIS) often develop a vulva and clitoris during puberty.

This intersex person identifies as a man, and he was assigned male at birth. However, his body does not produce testosterone, and he went through a feminizing puberty. To the average eye, he appears to be a woman now because of this.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected?” He was assigned male at birth, and now appears to be a woman, much like many transfems. However, if many saw how he looks now, stating that he is a male, they would probably clock him as transmasc. He was raised as a boy until puberty, and then faced astrozcization from his peers when he began a puberty that feminized him. What he was facing was a form of intersexism where transmisogyny was playing a huge part. Does his childhood matter? Can one become TME over time, when they were TMA as a child? Again, he lies in a gray area, where the answer is not quite so simple.

What about the “opposite”, per se — an intersex woman who had a masculinizing puberty? She has aromatase deficiency, which means that many ‘male’ hormones (which would usually be converted to ‘female’ hormones) would remain unconverted. She identifies as a woman, and was identified as a female at birth and was raised, until puberty, as a female. But now, she would be clocked as a trans woman upon looking at her. What does that make her? Is it different from the previous example? How and why? This intersex person also lies in a gray area. How she should be described with these terms is not clear.

And keep in mind, these are all relatively simple examples. All of the examples I listed self-identify as cisgender. But there are intersex people who are trans in any direction you can imagine.

If that last example identified as a trans woman, because she is now clocked as one, would you be able to say she’s wrong for that? What about if she identified as transmasculine, because of her experience with puberty? What if she’s multigender, bigender or genderfluid, and says she’s both transmasc and transfem because of her complicated experiences? Would that make her a TMA transmasculine person? But I thought that transmascs were all TME? That’s how it’s so often framed, anyway.

The reason why these questions are so difficult to answer is because these terms were not made with intersex people in mind. Very real intersex transfems were pushed to the wayside in favor of centering the perisex view of transgenderism. Intersex people are nothing but an inconvenient little afterthought, annoying perisex people with their demand for “inclusion” and “consideration”. (As per usual.)

You cannot simply make a new gender binary and say, “No, really, this time everyone fits into these two categories! Forcing people to confine themselves to these two rigid labels which are shown as opposites, and as never interacting, will definitely include everyone this time!!” No matter what the contents of the new binary is, it’s not going to work, because sex and gender alike are too complicated for that. There will always be people in the gray area.

This isn’t even getting into the fact that these terms, for all intents and purposes, seem to have been popularized by and associated with the Baeddelism movement around 2017, which was essentially “Radical Feminism 2: We’re Trans Women, So It’s Fine!” This movement is known for chronic villainization of trans men and non-binary people who aren’t transfem. (They act like this with cis people too, but noticeably less so than they do with non-transfem trans people. How curious.) Think along the lines of how regular radfems treat all men (and who they deem to be men) as inherently morally disgusting scum who deserve to be attacked.

Methinks that maybe these terms aren’t the neutral, fact-based descriptors of oppression that many people nowadays tout them to be, considering that.

So, yeah. “Transmisogyny exempt” and “transmisogyny affected” as terms: not even once. Listen to intersex people, stop trying to make sex and gender into binaries, and for the love of God, stop drinking the queer seperationist koolaid!

THANK YOU SO MUCH! THESE TERMS ARE VIOLENT, INTERSEXIST, EXCLUSIVE, AND UNREALISTIC! DON'T USE THEM!

i am affected by trans misogyny every day, even when I'm read as a trans man. i was affected the most heavily by transmisogyny when i was a teenager going through puberty before i transitioned. i was a "cis girl" at this point and was being told i "wasn't a real girl" because of my beard and masculine body.

hatred knows no binary.

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