Undead Af

fuck i accidentally got obsessed with dr house ☹️

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

This post is a goldmine

This post is an eagle that has a taste for my liver

Prometheus’ eagle had to get the idea from somewhere.

REMEMEBER IF HARD WATER IS CAUSING CALCIUM BUILDUP IN YOUR BONG, JUST LET SOME WHITE VINEGAR SIT IN THAT THING FOR A FEW MINUTES AND SHE'LL BE LOOKIN BRAND NEW. JUST DONT SMOKE WEED WOTH THE VINEGAR INSIDE PLEASE

I am not nearly advanced enough to come away from such a maneuver unscathed

River walk by Tatyana Kupriyanova

Y'know, if a formerly well-behaved straight A student suddenly starts almost not passing their classes and crying all the time and getting into trouble, maybe the default conclusion from every authority figure should not be that they are lazy and simply need to pull themselves together. Maybe instead you should give them stimulants or HRT or let them kill their parents and see if one of those three things resolves the issue.

umm sorry i got attched but its ur fault bcs you were nice to me

I haven’t been on tumblr for quite as long as a lot of people but over several years I’ve noticed this interesting gradual sorta,, shift in the general culture? that it went from this mostly depressed, nihilistic outlook where people would regularly joke about hating themselves and being hopeless and depressed, to a wave of vehemence of “STOP hating everything actually the world is Good and you deserve love!!!” type posts, to now, where those aggressive ‘PSAs’ have faded away and instead I regularly see people romanticizing simple things like stars and hot tea and rainy mornings, and waxing poetic about their friends, and just trying to put love out there. and I don’t know exactly what that means (someone who knows more than me could probably say something smart about generational expression and trauma or popular perception of mental health and whatnot), but I do know that it makes my heart very full to see people learn to love the world and themselves by extension, and a whole userbase adopting healthier coping mechanisms, and therefore teaching the younger users to do so as well. I might just be following different people, but I really do think we’ve grown. everyone has grown. five years ago it wasn’t unusual for the next post on my dash to be a scathing commentary on why nothing matters or an anon ripping into someone they barely knew or someone complaining about how pathetic their interests are. now I have mutuals who get excited and spam reblog art of cows and friends I see tagging each other in pictures of frogs and strangers writing paragraphs about how much I matter. it makes me happy. idk. just an observation I wanted to make. I think people are good and everyone’s just trying their best at the end of the day

I take it all back everyone on this site is toxic

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

Finding a new blorbo like:

this one really resonated with you all, huh

My beautiful grouchy girlfriend who’s speedruns wvery type of injury

can’t think of a worse feeling than coming up with a really great meme, like, 2 months after the image format dies

fear me

goodbye 2023👋hello 𓏏𓉔𓇋𓋴 𓇌𓅂𓄿𓂋 𓇋 𓅃𓇋𓃭𓃭 𓎼𓅂𓏏 𓄿 𓅓𓅲𓅓𓅓𓇌 𓃀𓅱𓇌𓆑𓂋𓇋𓅂𓈖𓂧 𓅓𓄿𓇌𓃀𓅂 𓉔𓅲𓋴𓃀𓄿𓈖𓂧 𓇋𓆑 𓉔𓅂𓂕𓋴 𓎢𓅱𓅱𓃭 𓅃𓇋𓏏𓉔 𓏏𓉔𓄿𓏏

my egyptologist friend says this is a (very poorly) phonetically transcribed english phrase "this year i will get a mommy boyfriend"

okay you werent supposed to know that

2024

tops will be like “yeah I can host” and then bring u here

Benelli M4

Season 2 Episode 25 - A Canterlot Wedding (Part 1)

I am in love with you?

And why did the value plummet, Marissa? Why did it plummet?

Would like to know how exactly she wouldn't fuck up Netflix or Hulu

Yahoo thought Tumblr would be the next PDF

What does that even mean? PDF as in Portable Document Format?

i cannot stress enough that i dont think yahoo even knew what a pdf was

you left out the best part of that article. the poor yahoo emplyees at those meetings were just as confused as the rest of us.

for new years day, i decided to start posting more art

here’s my original character, Horny Walter the Nautical Sex Rodent, he drives his nasty boat around the world’s oceans in pursuit of hole, leaving a trail of ecological destruction in his wake

i will be developing a line of merchandise for this new character, talks are already ongoing for the Horny Walter PEZ Dispenser/butt plug