born to shit, forced to wipe

So tumblr mobile autoplays ads with sound now

SOMETIME IN THE LAST WEEK MY SCHOOL PUT UP A LARGE BANNER DEDICATED TO THE :-) EMOTICON

happy birthday :-) face

it’s that time of the year again everyone say happy 40th birthday :-)

This is apparently what was contained in the original message that invented the :-) and I'm obsessed with Fahlman's diction here

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

can you imagine being an adult nepo baby at a company your rich dad invested in and having to walk into the boardroom first day like. hi everyone. my name is techno mechanicus

I can tell this is fake because "techno mechanicus" doesn't start with X

OH SON OF A BITCH

I haven't been reblogging this post because I genuinely assumed you guys were Goncharoving a nepo baby

Trying to do research for writing is so dumb I’m literally on the Wikipedia page for rabbit

“My wife’s horse has a problem with flies bothering his leg wound so she harnessed her Doctoral degree and fashioned him jean suspenders…”

(Source: Ben Voytas)

Jorse

finally, an answer to how a horse would wear jeans

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

world heritage post

some people are taking "doomed" to mean "dead". this is actually a misconception! you can be doomed even if you don't die! it's sometimes worse if you don't die!

union mandated yuri break

Some ya’ll who are younger need to google Frank Serpico and read about his time in the NYPD and what the cops did to him and attempted to do to him up until the late 90′s. He literally had to go into hiding in Italy and Switzerland and multiple times people tried to kill him. He only came back to America after the mafia (who hated the NYPD a lot, obviously) said “you’re under our protection.”

Damn, NYPD is so bad, Mafia started protecting good cops

A group of curious preschoolers visits some beehives in Stockholm

Submit your cute pet here | Source: https://bit.ly/3qre7V4

Använder du en reblogga gärna 💛

Translation: What does 'dandelion children' mean?

Children who, despite growing up under harsh circumstances, are okay in the end

I went to a bookshop and I got dizzy at the amount of books on stuff like “astrological feminism” “reclaiming womanhood through numerology” and all that shit…… One was called “cosmic fanny” or for my french speakers out there, “foufoune cosmique”. I think the fight against patriarchy is going really well

“But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior – women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?”

Ursula K Le Guin, from What Women Know

– Jane Dykema, What I Don’t Tell My Students About “The Husband Stitch”

You guys with close sibling relationships where you have shared interests and the same sense of humor are living my dream whaddahell what a wonderful bond to have girl thats absolutety beautiful

airbnb is dying!! hell yeah!!

might kill two birds with one stone with this. cool.