Aces and aros decide their own relationship to sex and romance. They decide their own feelings, and what role they want it to play in their life or not or what way.

Stereotypes & media about Black masculinity made it harder to come out as asexual by Tyger Songbird (2023)

My brother and I were talking about an ex of mine and he asks if I'm bi or only into girls. I tell him it's actually none of the above because I'm aroace and he gets all serious and tells me that he's "fully aware of what that means". I then catch him looking aroace up online

Asexual theory 101

Right I keep getting asked on most of my asexual posts 'What does this mean OP? Where's the sources?' so imma make a quick ace theory 101 post so if anyone says they don't get it I can say I tried. Let's go:

'What does being ace have to do with race/racism?/There's racism in the ace community???'

Pretty much everything as people of colour experience various forms of sexualisation and desexualisation at the same time, which is why POC are rarely included in asexual representation:

Asexuals of Color Still Seek to Validate Their Asexuality by Ebony Purks

Stereotypes & media about Black masculinity made it harder to come out as asexual by Tyger Songbird

Your Assumptions About Black Queer Masculinity Are Erasing My Asexual Identity by Timinepre Cole

It's Time To Start Celebrating Black Asexuality in Media By Tyger Songbird

Yasmin Benoit: ‘People had a hard time believing that I could be Black and asexual and at Pride’ by Alastair James

Brown and Gray: An Asexual People of Color Zine

'What do TERFS/transphobia have to do with asexuality?'

There's a growing TERF conspiracy theory that asexuality is the side-effect of transitioning. The LGB movement believes the community is exclusively for 'same-sex attracted persons' and so identities that don't involve attraction e.g. the TQIA should be removed. Most backlash towards Yasmin Benoit, aroace activist, is from white TERFs and conservatives:

Acephobic conspiracy theories have transphobic and fascist roots by Sherronda J Brown

'But how can conservatives hate asexuality if they hate sex?'

Because they don't and never did. If the term 'puritan' was used correctly in modern internet discourse, it would be known Christian puritans believe heterosexual sex for reproduction is a gift from god and mandatory so being asexual doesn't exactly fit with that worldview. Their beef is with any form of sex and sexuality that falls outside of cis heterosexual marriage, including asexuality. They're not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy:

"Anti-Sex" and the Real Sexual Politics of the Right by Lee Cicuta (ButchAnarchy)

The religious right is now targeting sexless marriages as “selfishness.” They Want to Ban Those Too by Tyger Songbird

Asexual people targetted by right-wing pundits following landmark report by Harriet Brewis

'What does being ace have to do with gender?'

It's commonly assumed that because patriarchy shames women's sexualities and considers all men's sexuality as biological and unavoidable, that ace women only and exclusively experience dsexualisation whilst ace men only and exclusively are pressured into being sexual beings. This can true as a broad overview but it can vary based on race, disability, class etc. This also becomes complex for asexuals that exist outside the gender binary. This is known as 'gender detachment'.

Impossible for Men, Unremarkable for Women by Canton Winer

My Work on Gender Detachment and Asexuality Strikes a Nerve by Canton Winer

'There's asexual studies now?'

Yup. On the general experiences of asexual people in the UK, including discrimination in education, the workplace and healthcare:

The National LGBT Survey (2018)

Ace in the UK Report (2023)

Specific names:

Asexual theorists: Ianna Hawkins, Michael Paramo, Julia Sondra Decker, Canton Winer (non-ace), Sherronda J Brown, Angela Chen

Asexual activists: Yasmin Benoit, Tyger Songbird, Marshall Blount (TheGentleAce), Kimberly Butler (TheAsexualGoddess)

And I'm gonna update this with more if they're worth adding. I don't wanna hear any excuses anymore or blame towards aces of colour, gay aces or trans aces for not being specific enough anymore. Read!

Yasmin Benoit with other aspecs and queer people at the Ace of Clubs, a temporary asexual club in London created in collaboration with AVEN and Budweiser UK in 2019.

RE-BLOG THIS IF YOU ARE ASEXUAL AND PROUD ♠️💜

Going 'I'm not a Black asexual but I support Black aces <3' means absolutely nothing to me. Call out the antiblackness in this community. Stop demonising Black music and slang. Stop using antiblack and puritan language about non-asexual Black people. Stop ignoring and erasing Black asexual characters. Read our work. Look at our art. Give me material action then we'll talk. Then I'll believe you.

on it 🫡 🌈 📚

Certified Library Post

I finally made a version with Knightmares sexuality instead of the Asexual flag overall.

So Knightmare is Cupiosexual/Cupioromantic Straight, if I can work the Cupioromantic flag in there I will but I can also just do a version of that too.

Random Fun Fact: Knightmare also has BPD

I think this is something...

guys I hate this but

I need help to stay housed. I should've said something sooner. I need to raise $2800 by March 31st. there's $2790 to go. anything at all helps. please reblog. thank you for any and all help. 💛