my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"

"reverted based on user feedback" is possibly the best way to refer to top surgery i have ever heard

When my partner had top surgery, as he was coming out of anesthesia in the recovery room, I dumped two of these out of a paper bag onto his bedside table and said "The doctor said you can keep these, if you want. Like when you get wisdom teeth pulled." The nurse laughed so hard she cried.

official boob post

when u rompin around with ya pot

when u romp too hard and get ya head stuck in the pot 

when ya hubris is ya downfall and there is no release 

faceplant

We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!

Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life. 

IT’S BREAD DAY!

…Yay!

IT’S BREAD DAY AGAIN! (cc: @petermorwood )

xabi alonso the man you are

my yearly redraw of neil banging out the tunes! 🎶🐀

A Series of Seaside Mishaps.

I love them

Someone captured the solar eclipse on an airplane

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

@exteenpopstar

#love the implication that house is force sensitive and decided to become a dark side user for medical malpractice reasons (via @gravity-loves-me)

I’m HOWLING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

Don't forget your glasses!

call out post

HELLO??? IS ANYONE THERE????????

I understand that a lot of people are really into gardening but i think you should refrain from pointing at peoples houses and announcing the sexes of the bushes outside because you might accidentally get the correct ratio of men to women in that household and scare the crap out of the residents inside. Especially if you’re going to end your statement with “that’s why they’re not going to survive”

Last night i was sitting at my computer with my window open and i heard a guy on the sidewalk walk up to my yard, vaguely point at my house (it was dark) and say “oh yea there’s 3 females and one male, thats why they’re not going to survive” and then walked away and it took me walking outside with a flashlight to understand he was referring to the fact that 3/4 of my rosemary bushes have flowers and that he was not stalking my family of 3 women and 1 man and threatening us

This man is the very definition of a guy who claims he wants a manic pixie girl but can’t handle her