u know that feeling when someone throws u something and u catch it really well like w one hand or u save it from nearly dropping or u caught it from a massive distance? and everyone around u lights up like yoooo!! good catch!!!! nice!!!! ? ? ? ?? i want 2 live in that feeling it is so pure

friend: hey we’re gonna hang out outside wanna come?

me:

friend: man why not?

me:

my main man scoobert goes in

what about me? scorbort?

i told you to never show your face in these parts again.

dinners ready

( ._.)./ an explanation: 

The dog has an issue where his esophagus doesn’t work right; it doesn’t get food in there right because it’s all stretched out and stuff. So what dog owners (and cat owners and I guarantee you the cat ones look goofier) do is make a highchair and feed them upright so gravity can be a hero. It’s also really cute. 

The disorder is called Megaesophagus. 

Here is a cat with the same disorder in his eatin’ sock. 

EATIN’ SOCK

ALWAYS REBLOG THE EATIN’ SOCK

I can’t hear you, I’m wearing my jacuzzi suit!

It’s 2014. Why aren’t these real.

it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning

oh my god

fucking fandom references

WHAT FANDOM? THE JESUS FANDOM?

THEY PREFER THE TERM CHRISTIANITY

This is the post that killed me

This is the post that killed him.

IT GOT BETTER

AS A CHRISTIAN I HIGHLY APPROVE 

I’m weak

But he is strong.

Amen

STOP IT!

at this point my blood is probably 4.3% pasta sauce

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree.

That makes it a plant.

Chocolate is salad.

“I’m breathing in, the chemicals”

we all have a favorite eyebrow

Love has no gender. Love has no race. Love has no age.

did i allow u to have fun without me

plot twist: humanity learns from its history

I did meet a fake geek girl once.

We were at school and she started to casually drop in that she liked comics/games/”geek stuff”, at the time I was wearing an iroman shirt. Deeper into the conversation i found that she didn’t know what I meant when I was referring to anything about the characters. When I questioned her about it a few days later she admitted that she had really just said it to get to know me better.

We ended up dating and while we were dating she got really into comics, DC especially, and found out that she really did enjoy the things she first said she did. I took her to her first convention. She met another guy there and ended up breaking up with me for him.

I went on to discover I was gay and fucked her brother.

Moral of the story. Comics lead to sex in the most unexpected ways.

This story was a riot from start to finish.

I wasn’t prepared for literally any of that