Confession
ENDGAME SPOILERS!! READ AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE, SIS BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A GAME. I’VE WARNED YOU!!
Summary: It’d been five years since you disappeared in Peter’s hands right after he’d broken your heart. Now, after so long, there’s a chance to get you back and Peter will stop at nothing to ensure so. He has to get you back, has to tell you that he was lying. That he did want to be with you and he’d never throw away the opportunity again. But the question is, will you let him?
Warnings: Uh… none? Some swearing
FEELING CREATIVE.. IDK MIGHT DELETE LATER (BUT ALSO FR MIGHT MAKE A SMUTTY PART 2)
“Kid, get out of here, I don’t want you to be a part of this,” Mr. Stark hollered to me when I walked up from behind to see what they were looking at.
“But Mr. Stark, I’m already a part of this,” I said back, trying to still be respectful. I didn’t want Tony to get mad at me but if he thought I was just going to leave when we were so close to getting them back … to getting her back, he thought wrong.
“Listen, kid, I know how much this means to you but I‘m not letting you get squashed like a… well, like a bug,” he responded.
My head snapped in his direction at the comparison, Really, Mr. Stark? Really?
“Mr. Stark I’m not going anywhere,” I repeated, a little more edge to my voice.
“Queens, Tony’s got a point. This is gonna get really ugly, really fast,” Cap tried to reason but I wasn’t hearing any of it.
I took a deep breath, an anger starting to brew in me that I’d never felt for Cap or Stark, “And I said-”
“Let him fight,” Thor interrupted.
I looked up at him from behind, my mouth still hanging open from my defense.
Thor shrugged his shoulder, never once taking his eyes off the man that killed his brother and then half of his people, “Those who fight for others and not themselves fight valiantly,”
My eyes shifted from Thor to Tony and Cap, they barely glanced at each other before nodding.
“Alright, kid, but from a distance only,” Mr. Stark ordered and I nodded.
If that was all he was going to give me then I wasn’t going to push it.
Thanos had been a nightmare in my head for five consecutive years now but it’s not his face that haunts me when I close my eyes, it’s hers. The look she gave me when I spoke the words that felt like acid in my mouth, that heart-wrenching image is what keeps me up at night. I should have told her the truth.
But if Banner’s snap worked, like really worked, and she was back then nothing was going to stop me from confessing. Not even this purple titan.
“You know it’s a trap, right?” I asked, the boyish tone in my voice long gone, for about five years now.
“Yup,” Cap mumbled, his glare piercing through the man they’d already killed once, “But we don’t really have any other choice. Keep the stones away from him,”
Lightning and thunder clouded from nearby and a blast of white surrounded Thor for a second, changing his garments and hair.
I didn’t hear what he said after that, too focused on where I should hit Thanos first, but then they sprinted at him. One right after the other they attempted to land a grave blow but Thanos was too strong, too fast, too smart. It appeared that he knew what they were going to do next and deflected all of their attacks.
I stepped down from the rock and ran towards the scene of the battle, my heart in my throat and my mind racing with pictures. Her (h/c) hair, her (e/c) eyes, her soft skin, her beautiful smile and her immersive mind. Just her. She was all that ran through my head as I charged at the man that took her away from me. The man that turned her to dust just hours after I hurt her. She was in my arms those last seconds of my life, clinging to me as tightly as she tried to hold onto life but she vanished all the same. I wasn’t sure if she heard what I said to her as she turned to dust but I was hoping, praying, that she knew. That she knew I was lying to her, that she somehow figured it out while she’d been gone. But she couldn’t and I knew that.
You can’t think if you don’t exist.
I threw a few webs at the enemy, pulling his arm back when he was going to land a fatal hit to Tony. He grabbed the web attached to him and tried to throw me around but I cut it off and kicked him in the face with the momentum he tried to use against me.
“What did I say, kid? From a distance!” Tony yelled as Thanos grabbed my calf and chucked me straight towards a ragged rock.
“Karen!” Tony yelled and activated the legs from my suit to catch my fall.
The metallic legs pierced into the rock, smashing it into smaller, more jagged pieces. A few of which stabbed my back. The pain shot from my back to my head and I hunched over, gripping my stomach as the air was forced out of my body from the impact.
“Kid!” Mr. Stark shouted as he ran towards me and Thanos grabbed him by his arm, hitting him square in the face and sending him flying.
I tried getting up, I really did, but my eyelids grew heavy and my vision began to blur at the edges.
My arm, heavy from exhaustion, barely moved at my side despite my command.
Thanos’ blade cut through Cap’s shield and continued to destroy it, breaking it until it could only be considered scrap metal. My chest grew heavy and any anger I had for the titan was diminishing, not because I was no longer angry but because it was replaced with fear. Fear that we would lose again. That I would lose again.
Then, even from this distance, I could see a strange look come across Cap’s face. He shook his head, as if hearing a voice in his ear or trying to fight pestering wind. His hand slowly came up and rested on his head and he looked around as if looking for where the interference was coming from.
The sight of the familiar yellowish circle appearing out of thin air made my heart stop and my jaw went slack, hoping beyond hope that it was who I thought it was.
Figures began to emerge from the portals and I was walking towards them without a single registration of the pain in my body.
One by one they exited the portal. Dr. Strange. The antenna lady. Quill. Bucky. Sam. Scarlet Witch. Even a tree thing.
But Y/N was nowhere to be seen.
“Please,” I choked out, the knot in my throat tightening as my legs carried me towards their exit. “Please, God,” my legs burned with exhaustion but my will won out and I was lost in the crowd of our army looking for the familiar sight of (Y/N)’s (h/c) hair.
“Avengers …” I heard Cap order, “ … Assemble,”
The sounds of thousands of warriors shouting overwhelmed me and I knew she wouldn’t be able to hear me if I shouted her name.
But that didn’t stop me from trying.
“(Y/N)!” I yelled, my eyes scanning the running bodies. “(Y/N)!”
A single figure, just one, hesitated before taking their next step. The (h/c) hair of a girl moved as her head turned, looking for the source of my calls.
“Here!” I shouted, my arms flailing in the air to catch her attention, “(Y/N)! God, please just look at me! See me!” I shouted over the sounds of war.
She turned towards my direction and the sight of her face hit me harder than any force ever has. Fuck, I miss her.
My steps faltered despite wanting to do the exact opposite. “(Y/N)!”
She scanned the battlefield. I knew she couldn’t hear me but her ability allows her to hear thoughts in her vicinity and it gives her an advantage in battle. Her eyes flickered to every moving figure, one by one, until finally, finally, her eyes landed on mine.
No, please, please don’t.
She faced the war ahead of her and ran directly into it upon seeing the familiar red glow of Wanda’s power. (Y/N) jumped into the air and gracefully landed next to the witch who had her sister power. (Y/N)’s power was almost identical to Wanda’s and it helps her feel stronger when she fights alongside her but they’re not the same. Wanda was made of an infinity stone while (Y/N) was granted her power by something called The Raven. She claimed it was a force identical to that of another celestial power and was meant to subdue it if it ever got out of hand.
I wanted to chase after her, to grab her by the shoulders and force her to look at me while I confessed that I lied to her. That I tried to make the decision I thought was best. But I was wrong.
I was gonna get to her if it was the last thing I did, literally.
My legs pumped with adrenaline and incentive. I had to reach her. To tell her. Then the cries of pain rang through the air and I saw T’Challa being wrapped in rock. I looked back at (Y/N) who was throwing bad guys left and right and tearing them apart. She was fine. She was strong. And she wasn’t the one that needed help.
I changed my direction and grabbed the Gauntlet that was thrown in the air before slinging my web closer to the van that Cap said it should go so we could put the stones back in their rightful time.
I’ve just gotta put the stones back and then I’ll talk to her.
“Karen, activate instant kill,” I said to the AI built into my suit as the beastly aliens swarmed around me.
“Peter!” I heard my name being shouted and the voice was angelic. Scared and in pain but angelic all the same.
The beasts were blasted away by a surrounding purple light and I knew it had been her. She still cared. Or maybe it was just a courtesy, she would’ve done the same thing for any other teammate. And that’s a fact.
“Queens!” Came another shout followed by Mjolnir flying past my head.
I shot a web at the hammer and was pulled out of the remainder of the swarm just for a blast from above to cut the strand, sending me hurtling straight for the ground.
“I got you, kid,” yelled Mrs. Stark in a suit of her own before sending me towards a girl flying a … a Pegasus?
I didn’t get to observe the horse for too long as I was yet again being tossed to the ground because of a cut web. Colors flashed by my vision while I clashed against the debris of the destroyed property.
A groan of pain escaped my lips and the laser blasts hitting the ground next to my body made me curl into a fetal position with the gauntlet in my grasp. I plastered myself as close to the boulder behind me as possible, using it for a makeshift barrier of sorts. My arms burned with the blasts that landed a little too close to me, causing cuts to my limbs and side.
This was it, this was how I was gonna go. Without ever speaking to (Y/N) again, without saying good-bye to Aunt May or Ned. No one. I was going to die on the battlefield protecting a glove that had six of the most powerful forces ever to exist on each knuckle.
(Y/N), I know you can hear me, I wasn’t sure if it was going to work, but I had to try, I wanted to let you know… I just… you should know that I- I’m… I’m sorry, I thought, my body now racking with each sob as I said my good-bye, (Y/N), I lo-
“Peter,” she called my name. “Peter, get up,”
I opened my eyes and rested my gaze on the glowing colors of the gauntlet, too ashamed to look up at her. It’d been five years since I let her down. Since I broke her heart. And now, here she was, waiting for me to look up at her just as I wanted her to look up at me,
“Peter, give me the gauntlet,” she ordered, her hand coming into view as she latched onto it.
I looked up at her then, confusion etched in my features as I wondered why she even came up to me in the first place. “The gauntlet?” I asked incredulously, “Didn’t you hear what I was thinking? What I was trying to let you know?”
Her grip on the gauntlet tightened just as mine did, “I heard,” was all she responded. “And I don’t need your pity,”
“Give me the gauntlet, Peter!” She shouted, her eyes beginning to glow a purple hue as she attempted to pry it from my hold.
“(Y/N), please I just … I just want to look at you,” I begged, my voice faltering by the end.
Her pull on the gauntlet slacked and she looked me in my eyes for the first time in five years. Those mesmerizing (e/c) eyes of hers. The whites of her eyes were red with oncoming tears. And suddenly it was like I was looking at the same face of heartbreak I caused her to have so long ago.
“Look at me?” She pulled away, dropping the gauntlet completely.
A glowing figure landed next to her and I hesitated to pry my eyes off of (Y/N), fearing that if I did, she would disappear again.
I handed the gauntlet over to the glowing lady, earning a sad smile from her. She seemed strong and merciless but also caring and understanding. She was letting us have a moment as she continued the gauntlet’s journey to the time travelling van. She flew off with an army of women to back her up and I had to grab (Y/N)’s wrist as she tried to leave with them.
“Stay,” I whimpered, “Just for a second. Stay,”
She shook her head, no longer facing me and tried, in a half-assed manner, to pry her hand from my grip. “Let me go, Peter,”
“(Y/N)!” I shouted, making her freeze in her stance, “I can’t! I couldn’t! These past five years all I could think about was YOU. Your face was the one that haunted me every night. Your voice, your smile, our talks, all those memories kept me going for five years. Years, (Y/N).”
“Stop,” she whispered under her breath, her head now facing me but her eyes still glued to the ground.
“I lied to you, (Y/N), okay? I lied! That day where everything went to hell and you told me how you felt? I lied! And that’s all I‘ve wanted to tell you since you were … gone.” I gripped her wrist tighter and pulled her to the ground with me.
“You lied?” she reiterated.
“Yes. I lied.” My hand trailed up to her face as our surroundings changed into one of a glass like structure. We were in Dr. Strange’s mirror dimension. He had given us a minute alone. And I knew a minute was all we truly had.
“I thought that if I died, it would help you to move on, that you wouldn’t feel guilty. That you could… you could love someone else happily.” I tried to explain, “But then … then it was me who survived, who had to move on without you and I couldn’t because I know I broke your heart and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, (Y/N),”
“Stop!” She shouted, shoving me away. “Stop doing this! It might’ve been five years for you but it’s only been hours for me and the pain is just as raw as when you told me that you didn’t care for me that way. Don’t you get it? I love you, Peter Parker! And if you even remotely cared about me you wouldn’t have lied to me,”
“I lied to you because I care about you!” I shot up off the ground and followed her, “Because I thought it’d be selfish if I made you wait for me or confessed that I loved you too only for me to die! I wanted you to move on! I wanted you happy!”
She stopped mid-pace and lifted her gaze towards me, “You what?”
I huffed and blew a loose strand of hair out of my face, “Fuck this,” I mumbled and glided over to her, grabbing her by the waist and pressing my chapped lips onto her soft ones.
She froze for a second, fighting the urge to let me in, to believe me, but all I’ve been waiting for again is to see her. Even if she never forgave me for being so cruel or decided that her confession was only a heat of the moment thing, I just wanted her alive again. Alive and back in my life, one way or the other.
And she knew. She could feel it. She was an empath after all, and she knew that I was telling the truth.
And she kissed me back and I could’ve cried with joy. Her lips pushed up against mine, melding together and divulging in it. My grip on her body tightened as I brought her close to me. I’ve missed her warmth, her smell, her hold. Especially her hold. I’ve just missed her.
“I love you, (Y/N),” I confessed, finally confessed.
“How are you so certain that you love me?” She asked, making sure I still wasn’t lying despite the emotional certainty.
“Because I know what it’s like to lose you,” I pulled her into me again, resting my head on her shoulder, “And I’m never doing that again,”
