when her cocksmell hits u as she plops her balls on yr face rb if u agree ignore if u hate women

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

EXCUSE ME? ANYA? ANYA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ANYA WHY ARE YOU IN JAPAN BUYING KFC ALMOST 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE???

BOCCHI WHY ARE YOU IN THIS PUBLIC BATH WITH YOUR GUITAR WHAT IS GOING ON

girl what

Look guys, it's not that hard.

Tumblr???

despite her efforts to evade me, i have finally filmed my cat playing my harp

Is a tiny cat playing a harp blasé to you people?? You don't even have time to give her a little like for her recital 🥺?

Local down to earth elite league member has everyone down bad

Remember to check your kids’ Halloween candy carefully this year! I just found 80mg of estradiol in this KitKat bar. Stay safe out there.

what house op

we were discussing wills and inheritances in the breakroom today and one of the boys brought up that he heard if you hate someone in your family, you’re supposed to leave them something, literally anything, even if it’s just like 1 penny, so that they can’t sue and say you just forgot them, and one of the other boys said why wouldn’t you just say like “I specifically do not leave anything to this person” and one of the girls piped up “No, leave them 1 penny, it’s a bigger fuck you” and then she paused and goes “No wait, tell them that you leave them everything in the box you’ve buried in the woods and they have to go find it and dig it up and then they can have everything in it, but it’s just 1 penny” and because I am a writer, and thinking up wild things to have happen is part of the writing job description, I (without looking up from my computer where I was currently writing a story) said “or a bomb. I mean, you hate them right” and i looked up and everyone was looking at me and the girl (who FYI is a horror movie enthusiast and I had figured on appreciating the joke) goes “well. I mean, what are they going to do, arrest me? I’m dead.” and I wish I could bottle the looks on the boys’ faces.

When I worked full time as a genealogist a colleague showed me a will that said they left enough rope for their son in law to hang himself and nothing else.

Me: Oh hey, this LGBT pairing was announced as considered intended canon by the show head(s), even though they were a bit hamstrung by execs at the time. Oh hey, it’s one I ship! Oh hey, it’s just really good and I see people in the fandom (which I’m admittedly only a bit into) like the pairing, too.

AO3: *Less than 100 non-crossover works, most either don’t seem to focus on it or have angst*

My fluff-loving gay ass: Oh.

Oh man do I ever hear ya. felt this hardest with velma/marcy from scooby doo mystery inc. the end felt like it was literally screaming they are gf’s now but nothing in fanfics hardly

I’ve been given permission to post this, real life stuff (happy) under the cut.

Keep reading

I’m so happy for you. Congratulations on being able to be open about who you love.

look at them they all loved her right away. she kicked them out and theyre still so happy to see her. lukes little “oh its julie” soft

pro tip, u do not have any banter about chip cards that your cashier hasn’t already heard just do not say anything about the chip to your poor cashier, if u even think about saying “it’s different everywhere you go!” theyll hope u die

don’t ever banter with a cashier. they want you to die as soon as you walk in

being on register is like playing a game where youve heard all the possible dialogue already and youre just smashing buttons so the dialogue goes away faster

Other things we hate. *Item doesn’t scan right away* “It must be free!” Ignoring what we say completely. If I ask if you need anything else, do not say “Yes” and then do nothing else. Listen to what we say so we don’t stand there waiting for FUCKING NOTHING. Throw money at us and mumble a number and walk away. I do not have superhuman hearing. If I do not know what pump you want, I will not prepay your gas and your dumb ass will have to walk back in. Have us ring up a dozen small, 50cent items then hand us a 100 dollar bill. ASK BEFORE WE RING UP IF WE CAN BREAK 50s AND 100s!!! If we can’t, don’t get angry!! Be snarky or angry in any manner if we ID you for any age-restricted items. If your card is expired, it doesn’t matter that you’re 40. You handed me an expired card and I can not accept it and thus cannot sell you the item, BY LAW. No, there is no “grandfathering” for the areas that are 21 for tobacco now either. Stop fucking lying. Come in, get your shit, ring out, pay, and fucking leave. There’s a queue behind you and we got shit to do.

Don't forget getting angry when you can't immediately cash a lottery winner for hundreds of dollars as soon as they give it to you

So the Live Action remake of the Lion King is completely unnecessary and superfluous and I do not care because it is going to be amazing and we have the cast of African characters actually played very predominately by actors of African descent. 

Also they kept James Earl Jones. Who has one of the best voices in all of Hollywood dont @ me

So obviously I’m probably gonna go see it like half a dozen times in theatres, funds permitting.

They also cut Be Prepared and are replacing it with a song to make Scar more sympathetic so I am extremely torn