I don’t know that anyone reads my blog anymore, but I have been in my feels about Sadie and Mark and I am writing down why it is that I think they are so compelling to me. I’m not using last names or show names because frankly it’s weird that I have thought about it so much and I don’t really want this being found by them or anyone on their teams.
What do I find so fascinating about Sadie and Mark? What is it about this connection in particular that interests me?
I grew up in a similar religious background as Sadie, steeped in purity culture and evangelicalism, so I can relate to her even if I no longer share her beliefs. In fact I do NOT support her or her family’s political or social beliefs in most cases. I think Sadie has genuinely held convictions, but they are heavily influenced by her programming and reinforced by her family and religious culture. I think she’s well meaning but she promotes harmful beliefs without realizing it because she’s never fully questioned what she had been taught. Nearly everyone in her life affirms and reinforces the same narrative about what her life is supposed to look like. I would even go as far as to say that it is a cult-like influence and she herself now teaches and reinforces these beliefs to other young people.
On the show, you could tell how much fear and anxiety Sadie had regarding other people’s perceptions of her character and Christianity ESPECIALLY regarding modesty and purity. Now, I think some of it was the show’s narrative, but some of it was internalized shame and repression from years of religious training. She was 17 years old and absolutely terrified of being seen as acting “sexy” in any capacity or messing up and not being perfect in terms of her behavior and image. I’m sure some of that also came from growing up in a reality-tv family that made religion part of their brand. The producers made a really big deal out of it but she took it personally- she was absolutely crushed after her week 2 dance when it and her outfit was called out for being “too sexy.” You can also see her glow when Julianne delivered the comments in the finale that were exactly what she wanted to hear about how she was portraying herself as a Christian. As a side note, Julianne has an incredible ability to use her words to manipulate people in my opinion and is the absolute queen of the backhanded compliment (“Mark, you are so generous with your partner THIS SEASON,” after previously knocking him for being attention seeking and outshining his partners). Anyhow…
So basically, while Sadie was already privileged and certainly not a “typical” teen, she had been heavily steeped in Southern evangelical culture and spent her teen years growing up in front of a camera. Then she flew to Hollywood and did this show for three months where she had pressure on her to be a role model, “light,” and example of a good Christian young woman in the context of ballroom dancing, which is generally a style that portrays romantic relationships. Now I’m not completely sure of Mark’s religious beliefs (Sadie has said that he’s “a Christian too” and he has a Bible verse tattooed on him), but he has a much more mature and well-rounded perspective on life and in general I would say that he is emotionally intelligent and expressive and doesn’t have the same type of religious baggage that Sadie does (I think he might have his own pressure and anxiety related to growing up in the biz but that’s a different post… or is it?)
I think that they hit it off in terms of personality and were able to find common ground and influence each other positively. I think Sadie was fun and easy to work with and that made Mark’s job more fun and relaxed, and I think he was able to show her another perspective on the world and reassure her and help her gain confidence. He was always respectful of her beliefs and stated that her feelings and comfort were his number one priority, but I think he also encouraged her to step outside of her comfort zone to a certain extent and to be more comfortable with all sides of herself.
My understanding is that she was considering moving to LA and pursuing some opportunities there but that she ultimately decided that that life didn’t align with her beliefs and went back to the South to become a Christian author and influencer. At 18. She dove in fully to a very public life based on her belief system that was handed to her by her family at 18 years old.
She started looking for a husband that fit the mold and after a few tries she found one, got married, and started having babies. I don’t know enough about this guy to judge him personally but I think he checked all of the boxes for being generally good looking, athletic and Christian. His name is literally Christian and he is from Niceville and you cannot make this stuff up. He’s like if you were making up a comic book character of a Christian influencer’s perfect husband and just using generic words as a placeholder and then didn’t bother to change them. Apparently he likes baseball and that is the extent of his public personality and interests from what I can tell. They seem to get along okay except I think they buy into a lot of patriarchal and complementarian beliefs. I’ve watched a bit of her content with him but not a ton because I don’t find it that interesting.
Now, everything in this life that she has built is part of this evangelical influence machine EXCEPT for her stubborn insistence on maintaining this close relationship with Mark and the show even though it doesn’t quite fit her brand. She holds it close to her heart and he obviously holds her close to his as well. Now we can’t tell everything from the outside, but I think it‘s clear that they consider each other family and hold a lot of affection and loyalty to each other. Pretty sure he was included in the “people I love” in the caption of her post when she visited the show. My hope is that this friendship is somewhere that she can truly be herself and be seen, and that it might keep her questioning what she is taught and be a lifeline in the event that she ever has a faith crisis where that belief system starts to crumble and she needs to rebuild what she believes and how she wants to live her life. She may never do that. Some people live happily? within this culture and belief system for a long time and never break out of it. However, I know there are a lot of people who have and it is a painful process but there is a lot of freedom on the other side. Whether she does or not, this relationship has a very “one of these things is not like the other” vibe when compared to the rest of her life and brand.
On his side, I think he appreciates her in that he can be himself too and that he trusts her to genuinely care and have good intentions when he is in a business and a world where that is not always the case. I think she’s kind of like a breath of fresh air for him and there is something about his body language with her that makes it seem like he is so relaxed and comfortable and happy in her presence.
Now, do I think there was something romantic there?? I’m not sure that’s the word I would use although I saw the potential for it heading that way because I found their relationship to be physically (not in a sexual sense) and emotionally very intimate. I think they kept things appropriate and above board, but I also think that they find each other attractive so there is some tension there that required some bro/sis zoning to keep it that way. It’s hard to look at dance partnerships through the same lens as you would a relationship out in the wild because it is a very specific context where these partners spend a lot of time in close proximity with each other in a short amount of time and they get very close and comfortable. If you saw Sadie and Mark (or many of the other couples) acting the way that they do on the show with each other at a mall, you would think they are in a relationship, but the show is a very specific culture and context where it’s normal behavior. However, I do think there was something unique and special here that I don’t see with everyone on this show or even with Mark and other partners. I think he develops close and special relationships with many of his partners, but this feels a little different to me. Maybe it’s my confirmation bias, but that’s how I feel.
If anyone is still around that loves these two as much as I do, please feel free to chime in on your thoughts.
