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Gandalf, taking a hit from his joint: Did you guys know that mithril is super expensive? Like insanely valuable? That it’s very much a finite resource mostly plundered from the earth and invaluable due to its many uses? And also Sauron has most of it so it’s now lost to its Elven and Dwarvish makers? And to think Bilbo’s precious gift of mithril mail is probably sitting in the local Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum. Just makes you think lol ...

Gimli, a dwarf who has lost most of his people’s cultural artefacts: ... I’m sorry Bilbo was given what and did what with it

Frodo, secretly wearing Bilbo’s mithril mail at that very moment but only after nearly 70 years of it sitting in the Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum gathering dust because Bilbo had no idea his cool shirt was worth approximately the net value of their entire country:

Lord of the Rings is a comedy

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I simply said what I wish had been said when Kevin and I got married.

This is one of my favourite pieces of this show because “Marriage is like…oatmeal” was introduced as part of the “Holt can’t do emotions” gag

But in this speach, the unusual metaphor is powerful and sincere and heartwarming. And it shows that these writers really understand the character of Holt and the nature of love, and that they are very, very good at their craft.

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