In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

This is how Superhero v. Supervillain dynamics form.

gamechanger has 2 storylines. one is the episode to episode shenanigans, the escalation of games. the other is an extremely slow psychological thriller that exists only between Brennan Lee Mulligan and Sam Reich.

if i tell yall what i did on the tram today yall would call it a fake tumblr story i think

oh?

so it helps to know that my mindset at the time was influenced by having been transphobically sealioned at a temping agency earlier, as well as spontaneously turning up to a different temping agency without an appointment & actually landing with them after THOSE guys turned out to be cool.

I was on the tram (crowded tram) (just after 11 AM) on my way home full of adrenaline still, and saw my dad eating a banana on the platform. I could get out of the tram to say hi, but then i'd miss the tram, or worse, hold it up. What i COULD do, however, is sprint out of the tram as soon as the door opens, take a bite from the banana my dad is holding, and SPRINT back into the tram before the doors close. So That Is What I Did.

unfortunately now roughly half of the passengers of the tram were looking at me like I was suddenly some sort of feral spirit of hunger or perhaps a strange insect of some sort.* Fortunately, the truth was also the ONE sequence of words that could make what they had just witnessed okay. I went "das ist mein papa!!!" which is german for "thats my dad!!!!!"

My dad seemed genuinely delighted by this btw. the look on his face was fucking PRICELESS

i would like to beat the little german boy accusations based on my behavior before they arise. i am in fact a tall german trans girl.

however in everything except body i AM calvin from calvin & hobbes

I LOVE TUMBLR MOBILE SO MUCH

hey quick question why did no one ever tell me how fucking insane M*A*S*H is?? their commanding officer is a horse girl. the secretary has psychic powers. this guy walks around a 1950s military outpost in drag and everyone’s just like hey nice dress. the protagonist who is supposed to be the best surgeon in the entire korean war spends every episode strutting around drunk in a hawaiian shirt making homoerotic wisecracks and asking the nurses to step on him like some sort of unhinged bisexual jimmy buffet. guys what the hell is going on in this army doctor show

The horrors of war and a rip roaring good time

Realized I have a naked rat and a small piano

Here's Harry banging out the tunes, April 13th 2023

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

"let people be wrong about you" is such good advice that i am unfortunately physically incapable of following. if i am incorrectly perceived by anyone i will simply start ripping things with my teeth

everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3

It has apparently been ten years since the time one of my professors pulled me aside to tell me I had to clean up after making out before going to class because my lipstick was everywhere and I realized "actually my tapdancing group decided we all had to dress like the Joker for our performance" was an infinitely worse explanation so I just said I was sorry

Alexander McQueen Autumn / Winter 2024

I love being a part of the hive mind

everyone say thank you cd player

in the google doc. straight up "writing it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. Nothing

It's stupid that bread goes bad so fast. Bread should last ten million years on your countertop. You should be able to feed yourself off the same loaf of bread from the day you are born to the day you die. They should pass down bread between generations like a family heirloom. There should be remnants of still-good bread after the heat death of the universe.

This recipe lives in my head rent free

anyone else relate

tumblr will never count as social media to me. This shit a secret hideout and we just all happen to see each others thoughts