Snarky Sharkie

don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

#this is the positive version of this post #it is friendly and brings luck

Y’all, I ain’t never seen a whole Star Wars film, but Mark Hamill? Is an actual Fucking Saint™️.

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL SON.

“write a horror story in 6 words”

me:

Oh my fucking GOD

this is the best thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes.

oh my gosh he’s gently play-biting them like they’re his own babies

this is- and i say this completely unironically- something that an actual 3 year old would do 

i wish id never seen his proportions from this angle what the fuck is going on

uhhhh fellas is it ….

Yes

*____*

[source]

the year is 2070, tombstones have been abandoned in favour of 4ft tall marble funkopop figures of the deceased

god, it’s so crazy we all have bones… like, just these big hard rods holding our meat up. that’s so fucking wild, i can’t believe it

one of the main reasons i don’t want to get pregnant is i can’t handle the idea of growing bones and not keeping them

this is a very reasonable concern. you go to all that trouble growing new bones and then some shitlord infant steals them out from under you. disgraceful

*hitting depression with a stick* i have to pass this class

This is still one of the best executed jokes I’ve ever seen

graduated top of my class from hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery