Militant Self-Awareness

Tumblr Live? More like Tumblr Dead !

DOOOOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO

take some time this week to archive online content you care about, it could disappear or get harder to find at any point! youtube channels, blogs, images, personal chat logs, you name it

PSA! gfycat.com is shutting down and deleting all content and data on the site on September 1, 2023. if you have any fav gifs hosted there, grab them NOW!!!!

There are no wrinkles on that man like you never fucked a 40+ year old either if you think this is even remotely representative of 40+ male demographic that man has been getting botox since 2006 if you saw the 40+ dudes I've been banging you would hurl

Not to sound like an insufferable, pretentious tumblr dot com user, but I think people are missing a key frame here; Barbie is shot through Barbie lenses.

It's colorful and plastic and on the wrong side of live action. Margot and Ryan are literally emulating as dolls trying to pass as humans.

She didn't blink once for the entire trailer, and he has no idea why two people would spend the night together as "boyfriend and girlfriend" because dolls don't feel arousal. They're almost always smiling. That shot of Barbie's feet staying pointed tells you everything you need to know.

People feel weird about Ryan Gosling not necessarily because he's 'old' -- but because he's MADE to look like an entity forcing itself to be something he's not. It's uncanny valley on screen. You feel uncomfortable because humans aren't supposed to look and act that way.

not to be the person that brings the stupid debate back up, but 40 yos can and absolutely do look like that without medical intervention, there's this amazing thing called sunblock nowadays that does wonders

And even if he WAS wrinkled -- so??? Barbie and Ken are like 80

And even if he

WAS wrinkled – so??? Barbie and

Ken are like 80

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression

"but at least they kept my mind off everything."

she wears short skirts, i have the high ground

it’s over anakin, i’m on the bleachers

How much damage does this do if I hit someone with it

they beat Jesus with that

congratulations to promethazines for making a phrase so good that years later i still remark ‘they beat jesus with that’ upon seeing any kind of lumpy mess

that hotel california comic makes me lose my shit every single time & i’m so thankful for it honestly

there we go

the impulse to hide what I'm doing at my computer still sits so deep even tho I'm literally never looking at anything objectionable , the door will open and I'll hurry to close the page like oh fuck no one can know I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for the Balkans

In light of the current spam bot epidemic, it’s so refreshing to get a follow and see it’s from someone with a normal, trustworthy name, like “pikachus-third-nipple”

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

bbc sherlock wants what i have

at dinner people were talking about how much they cried during their weddings and my one cousin said she was SO determined not to cry, made it through the entire ceremony, but then during the reception her husband leaned over and asked 'hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have Night Meats?' and she went 'night meats?' and started sobbing because that was so romantic to her

me, copy pasting the same joke on tumblr, 3 discord servers, 2 dms, and a group chat: I am doing amazing. I am doing fantastic. I am going to get a good grade in funny, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

shaking and crying

PLS IM BEGGING FOR THE LEON KENNEDY RATS TO COME OUT AND WRITE FICS LIKE PLS THERES NOT ENOUGH AND I KNOW THAT SO MANY OF YOU HAVE BRILLANT MINDS I SWEAR I WILL EAT UP EVERY FIC YOU PUT OUT PLSSSSSSS

A moment of light during the siege

It really does feel like that

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS