everyone's got that one homie who zealously adheres to his inflexible code of honor even though it has long since become a burden to him

oh my god yes this counts. what the fuck. this is like the single worst thing you could do to yourself for no reason. this is actual self harm

she took my empire of dirt in the divorce

children outside screaming: annoying but ultimately for the greater good. children need Going Outside and Screaming Time for proper emotional development. an auditory burden I am willing to bear

neighbor with his car he made louder on purpose: jail for neighbor. jail for ten thousand years

My coworker Mike just started cracking up. Informed us someone was trying to make a test Outlook group at work and seems to have accidentally made it a real Outlook group.

Everyone added to the group is named Mike.

Creator of the group isn’t online yet but the Mikes are coming online in droves.

“Why was I added to this group? What do I have in common with all these other Mikes?” -one of the Mikes

“Ah, so this is Mikerosoft” (<- you’re never gonna guess what company I work for)

One Mike has suggested this is an effort by the group-creator to hunt Mikes for sport

Obama chuckled. "You mean the chaos emeralds?"

Makig a sandwich to bring to school tomorrow can someone reblog with a filling to finish the ssndwich ill go first ok

Bread

bread

(thats not allowed. We start with bread once more. Its okay, take your time.)

Bread

garlic powder

Sliced garlic

(thats a lot of garlic. Why dont we try something else)

…bread

(Please think before reblogging)

Water

(Hey.)

cheese

cheese

cheese

cheese

(I appreciate that but can someone else who is not a mouse take over)

Ham so much ham

(this is beginning to resemble a sandwich :))

MORE CHEASE

Add the mousetrap to the sandwich

(ok but i dont take kindly to being ordered around)

Lint

(What ever. Christ. im finishing the sandwich)

Bread

Why is thus anonymous

ok fine go ahead

SANDWICH CLOSED EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mmm yummy sandwich perfect for bringing to school tomorrow

Mmm yummy

sandwich perfect for bringing

to school tomorrow

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

"ne'er-do-well" is such a harsh criticism like bro ne'er? e'er? like youd think at least some'imes id do well but nope. ne'er

I am developing a gay hookup app with roguelike and deckbuilding elements

Some ppl are like "I'm a kinky sex-positive pervert freak!!!" and then make fun of virgins and asexuals..... sure, reclaim freakiness but keep working on that because teasing ppl for their sex lives (or lack thereof) is, unfortunately, very normie mainstream vanilla behaviour. the right to sexual determination includes NOT having sex. 101 shit. Like this isnt subversive dude, it's using the edge of an ideology for bullying

Multiple people have said VIBES and my brain is actually melting.