New year new shirt, and new attitude

IT’S JUST MOMENTS PASSING MOMENTS PASSING IT’S JUST NOTHING LASTING MOMENT’S PASSING

I KEEP SAYING I WANT TO BE FREE AGAIN BUT I DON’T KNOW WHEN I WAS FREE

46 psychic damage from all you get is confetti followed by tai chi with my dad

we don't speak anymore has me feeling all of the feelings. but, honestly, it just makes me think of how hollow it is when someone just disappears from your life and never considers turning back. never says goodbye. and throws years of stories and love and secrets away without any further notice. it can happen so quickly.

maybe "but you aren't ready to leave" is someone severing ties so fast you don't see it coming, but maybe it's the person still holding on to that shred of hope that they might be invited to that old friend's wedding, that you'd have been at least that important to their life that, despite such a huge disappearing act, they'd still want you to see that happen, that they'd want you to see them on such a big day - maybe you'd be in the background, unmentioned and not spoken to, but at least you'd still be tethered even slightly, because you aren't ready to say goodbye yet, you aren't ready to leave it all behind yet.

"it's not that deep, or that shallow." losing people, regardless of how, is never just this one thing you deal with and get over. it's how many years of friendship are dropped in one notification, how all of those "old times" sat in living rooms and bedrooms, and talking about baking together, and 'we should do something over christmas' and thank-yous and I-love-yous and see-you-tomorrows are abandoned. never to be seen again. there's so much nuance to not speaking anymore and the whole song just captures that feeling in one fell swoop, as if trying to help you tie up the loose ends still left over. why no closure? did you even consider saying goodbye? what about taking on this world together? when we used to say we were like family? what about all those time we thought about living together? what about all of the time we spent laughing and crying and feeling alive? but all of those fears and worries can't be communicated in so few words as "we don't speak anymore."

congratulations, bears in trees, you have once again made a song that is painfully relatable and has absolutely broken me.

'i mean my head on your heartbeat, your heart beating out of time, old times abandoned, when we could scale any roof in south london'

if tomorrow im gonna be haunted, then tonight im gonna be free.

something so meaningful about that line. tomorrow might be the worst day of my life. but tonight, in this moment, i dont care. im gonna make it the best.

something about the helplessness of it all. the worlds fucked and there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it. so lets do nothing about it! lets dance in the living room and sing loudly and off key in the car and order every drink on the menu (even though we know we wont like most of them) and buy stuff we dont need because who cares! we can deal with it tomorrow. tonight im gonna be free.

- Bears In Trees, Things That Look Like Mistakes

me: its been two years, we dont speak anymore isn't gonna hurt me

me after we dont speak anymore:

i think it would be super cool and rad and awesome if people listened to bears in trees more

I have been thinking about "I write little poems each day inside my head, my only conclusion, I don't want to die yet" since it came out. when I heard it for the first time, I had to stop in my tracks. it verbalized something that was in my brain for a long time. the healing that I have been working towards feels, I don't know the right word, but, less isolating.

"THESE WORRIES WONT SAVE MY FATE COS NONE OF IT IS REAL" THEY GET IT THEY FUCKING GET IT

how to build an ocean is about me actually

completely normal about injured crow 👁👍👍👁👍👍👁👍👍👍