take your time and you'll be fine

and if you’re comfortable put in the tags how old you are

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

DRY CIDER = The Thoughtful Thirster

SWEET CIDER = The Joyous Drinker

I love Phineas’s optimism about Candace. Like what has ever happened to make him think this? Nothing. 

Thank god they brought back An Amount Of Daylight That Makes You Want To Live. It was getting a bit scary for a minute there.

hacking shit and running lives from the comfort of his bed

unbelievable that its 4/20 and absolutely nobody has put the objectively best rage comic on my dash yet. i have to do everything around here

runner up

not a rage comic but this is a personal favorite

Shirley Jackson, We Have Always Lived in the Castle Vincent van Gogh, Garden at Arles (1888)

i hate whenever people say "autism and adhd are basically the same disorder" because that isn't even remotely true. autism believes a strong defense is the best offense, and focuses on keeping plays connected in order to steadily earn points, while adhd is characterized by unpredictable high risk combination attacks that prioritize scoring

every sunday i tell my liberal father that i'm off to go get another sex change. he tells me "yass monarch slay". but in reality i go to church to study the teachings of the lord. if my liberal father knew this i would be disowned. this is joe biden's america

*eminem voice* *falls into a hole in a sewer grate before saying anything*

Jonathan Sims • The Archivist

turn up that fucking hurdy gurdy

when you censor yourself like this -> *** on my dash i respect your right to privacy but I AM trying to decipher it like we're playing hangman or something. is there an o in there give me something to work with

People you are writing tumblr posts like an 18th century publisher trying to avoid a lawsuit the Duchess of ****ham is not coming for your wig

tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

ive been standing with my arms behind my back ponderously like at a museum

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now