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The Written Paw

@lonewolfwriter / lonewolfwriter.tumblr.com

Judy and Nick Fan story ongoing, and chapters of my own novel; Griphon:The Last Warwolf.An Australian based Writer looking for beauty in all forms of art and self expression.
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pkarchie

(for writing, click here)

I’m running low on cash right now, even with school done (mostly; I have a summer class), I’m finding myself low on cash so i’m opening commissions!

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Hey man, first how was your wedding?Second, i would like to know if u are going(or pretend) to finish taste of hazel? It's one of my favorite fics and i've been waiting for 5 months for an update. I know that real life can be messy sometimes so i don't want to rush you, but if you dont pretend to finish could you at least tell us what you was planing for the end of the fic? (Sorry for the eng here, im from Brazil and i'm still learning =p).

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Thanks for the message cogu! and to everyone else who has sent me messages.

I hope the below answers the question.

The Story was going to become fierce but end basically how everyone surely wanted it to.

If I get a second wind, It will definitely be finished, I hate leaving writing incomplete; however I had to gut my second novel and start from scratch so it has been…stressful.

Finding time to work on my own novel and my fan fic, is a tricky task as well as balancing a job where I worked for a month straight/ 12 hour days 7 days a week.

My old job allowed me to write at my leisure so long as the work was done; my new job does not have such a chill atmosphere.

Also my wedding went amazingly. Never thought I could be so happy. 

and your English is perfect. 

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Lonewolfwriter when is the next story of griphon coming out ?

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Hey Sonny, It will be out hopefully some time early next year, I've just been very busy getting ready for my wedding ($$$). However my partner (writing partner) is also working on a prequel that dives into Griphons father (Tristan) side of the story and how that betrayal all began.  The writer taking on that project is one of the best I’ve ever seen.  

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Do you plan to continue "A Taste of Hazel", or is it on hiatus until further notice?

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Hey Illuminutter- yeah hiatus at the moment, My wedding is coming up so I have been quiet pre occupied.

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A Taste Of Hazel Chapter 11 (A Zootopia fan-story)

Alison arrived home from school she had her backpack over her should and looked exhausted she had been teased relentlessly, she wanted so badly to punch the dickens out of the other kids, but knew deep down that would not help.

“Hey sweetie” called a voice from the couch.

Alison hadn’t even seen Jack sitting on the couch.

“Hey dad”

“Hi sweetheart, how was your day?”

Alison smiled brightly “We had the whole last class was art and it was great, I drew a fox”

Alison pulled out her book and showed Jack the picture. He didn’t move from the couch but held a paw out and took the book looking over the picture.

It’s beautiful, “who is it?”

“The neighbour, I think she is very pretty!”

Jack knew who Alison spoke of; she was speaking of Ms Raine, the young fox who lived in the penthouse across from Jacks penthouse suite.

“Can I go show her?”

Asked Alison, Jack pursed his lips, he hated Alison’s fascination with other foxes, and it made him feel bad, but mainly uncomfortable.

“Sure” he said through strain “just be home before mom gets home okay?”

Alison did a 180 degree turn and went to go to the neighbour’s house when she paused under the doorframe.

“Dad?”

Jack who had gone back to watching television hit the mute button.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing home?”

Jack looked blankly at the television “Just sick sweetheart”.

“Oh…okay, I’ll be back soon”.

Alison shut the door and Jack waited till her heard her paw steps disappear before reaching between the couch and pulling out a bottle of scotch and his pills.

“This is getting out of hand” he sighed throwing back three of the pills, as his eyes stayed poised on the dark figure sitting in the corner of the room rocking back and forth crying.

Alison tapped gently at the door to Ms.Raine’s penthouse suite.

“Hello Ms.Raine?”

“Hello?” choked a voice from the other side of the door; the voice was soft but sad.

“Hey Ms Raine, it’s me Alison”.

“Oh hi sweetie, what can I do for you?”

The door cracked a little and Miss Raines hazel eye peered out.

“I drew you a picture!” Alison confirmed with a gleeful smile holding up the picture.

“Oh sweetie that’s beautiful, is that you” she breathed out, sounding to Alison as though she was out of breath.

“No…It’s you!” explained Alison holding picture up for Ms Raine to take.

“Aw thank you” she exclaimed reaching a shaky paw out to take the picture from Alison, her paw however was shaking like mad.

“Are you okay Ms Raine?” quizzed Alison.

“Yeah, I’ve just got a temperature and haven’t been feeling too well, but it’s okay, its normal…you’ll understand when your older sweetheart. Ide invite you in but I don’t think I can today, maybe another night you can come over and we can watch a Fox tales?”

Alison’s face lit up with excitement.

“Well I hope you get better” comforted Alison.

“I think I’ll be much better soon enough” said Ms Raine with a bright fangy smile.

Nick was sharply woken by the god awful sound of his watch blaring in his ear; his sight was blurry as he tried to push himself up, his arms felt like paper that folded beneath his own weight.

“What? Are you kidding me?”

Nicks rest had barely recuperated him and he had 30 minutes to get dressed and get down stairs for his first shift.

He tried to sit up but his whole body seemed to resist him.

“Come on Nick, enough already” he spoke to himself, bashful that he was feeling this way, never having felt anything like this.

Each second the image of the Vixen in his mind reminding him why his body was completely drained.

It took Nick 12 minutes to drag himself from the floor and into the bathroom where he stared at himself in the mirror, trying his hardest to give himself a pep talk, grasping each side of the basin with as much force as he could muster.

“She’s just a Vixen, you’ve seen plenty before, this one is no different, she’s just…” he paused a moment as his thoughts took over thinking of other Vixens he had fancied and noticing none of them came close to this fox. “She’s just…undyingly beautiful and kind” he finished in a defeated whisper.

Nick sluggishly walked into his living room, snatching his shirt off the floor and slowly buttoning it up and rolling up the sleeves. He could hear the crowd grown downstairs, he knew he should be nervous but was too tired to think straight.

He grabbed the aftershave off the small bedside table and sprayed around his scruff twice.

He then walked to the mirror in the bathroom; he took a deep breath, poked his chest out and smiled.

“Nicholas Piberius Wilde” he exclaimed to himself smiling brightly extending his paw out as if he were to shake someone’s paw, his paw trembled with an uncontrollable force.

He pulled is paw back placing on in the other and rubbing them together as if that would sooth his tremor, however it did nothing.

Nick breathed out “Well, here goes nothing”

Nick got down stairs spot on time, the place was busy but, relaxing, he felt as though all eyes were on him, and at the same time calm; every animal here was simply relaxed having a nice dinner or laughing around a table that had one too many beers balancing atop it.

“Hey Nickie, sweetie”.

“Hey Pricilla, where do you want me?” asked Nick wondering where to start and feeling a little out of place.

“Well Sarah is behind the bar serving if you wanna start cleaning the tables and throwing out those bottles” she shouted over the sound of the jukebox starting up.

Nick smiled and nodded turning to catch Sarah’s eye, giving her a greeting nod, she was a deer in her early twenties with a cock sure smile, she had freckles and dressed in very casual attire and worked the bar like she lived there, knowing where everything was, she flung her head back reciprocating Nicks gesture, Nick could tell she must have worked here a long time as she knew everyone’s order before they even placed it.  

Nick turned and made his way table to the first table the people continuing their conversation as if Nick weren’t even there only turning when he had the last bottle in paw to thank him for cleaning the table, the second table and third table was much the same, then Nick came to the table that had the most bottles on it, the one that looked as though it was about to overflow; he grabbed an empty glass and some at the table turned and sneered when they saw the fox only to lighten up and join him in their conversations when he gave them a reassuring and shy smile which was mirrored by Pricilla shooting them a stare as she walked by, obviously the rowdy ones were regulars and knew Pricilla’s stance on treating other with respect.

“Nicholas but people call me Nick” explained Nick answering ones question while still collecting their empty bottles.

He reached out grabbing a half full bottle while talking and a tiny paw grabbed his “hey there fella don’t be to overzealous, that’s not finished yet” pointed out the beaver with a chuckle.

Nick also chuckled letting go of the bear and moving instead to stacking up the empty glasses that remained. It took Nick two trips to get their table clear,

“Don’t forget to wipe down the table and put down coaster newbie” explained the deer who walked past him with a tied-up bin bag

“Coasters?” asked Nick unsure as to where they were located.

The deer simply pointed to a marble bench top that led toward the kitchen, which atop sat a stack of fresh coasters, Sarah manoeuvred past Nick, making her way to the back door to take out the trash.

Nick grabbed the coasters and made his way to the sink where he found the cleaning spray for the tables and a clean cloth; he tucked the cloth into his belt and hung the spray by the nozzle from his pants pocket.

Nick returned to the rowdy table; he sprayed his cloth wiping the sticky spilt beer from their table top and threw down several coasters from in his pocket.

“Thanks Slick Nick” laughed a leopard slapping Nick encouragingly on the back .

Nick swayed with the hit and went to speak but instead just smiled, nodded and moved to the next table, then the next and the next when he was suddenly interrupted.

“Nick!” yelled a voice; he looked to the back door to see Sarah standing there an aggravated look on her face, her paw gesturing to the bar.

Nick just stood confused

“When one of us goes somewhere the others got to watch the bar” she called out rolling her eyes and storming over to the bar to serve the queue of various mammals.

Nick fumbled and with haste nervously made his way to the bar

“Hi, what can I get you?” he asked the first animal in front of him

“I already got him newbie” called Sarah, focusing on punching the order into the til and not even looking up to address Nick.

“What can I get you sir; he asked sliding to the next animal.

“Hey I was first” called out a customer to the left.

“Sorry, what can I get you?” Nick asked moving to the customer that had called out.

“Two scotch on ice, 2 jerry lagers and one of these” explained the customer holding up the cocktails menu and pointing to one.

“Cold never bothered me anyway” read Nick out loud revising the name of the drink “on it” He confirmed turning to the bench of alcohols and glasses behind him, and suddenly his confidence became staggered, it was like a maze to him, everything looked the same and he could only hear the yelling of the customers behind him and to make it worse the images of the Vixen seemed to only get more progressive the longer he was awake.

Nick fumbled and dropped glasses and took more than twice as long to make the drinks as Sarah, he handed back incorrect change and forgot the ice in one of the scotches.

But after 17 minutes he had finally served his first customer. He moved down the bar asking the next customer, who, to Nicks surprise seemed to be the last one there.

“Sorry fox, the lady already got my drink” he confirmed reaching over and taking a drink from Sarah who passed it over Nicks shoulder. The customer raising his glass to her in thanks and her responding with a glinted wink.

There was silence as she waited for the bar to be completely clear before she threw = a tea towel over her shoulder crossing her arm and tapping her hoof.

“Listen Newbie, rule one of this bar, there is always someone here” she explained uncrossing her arms to point to where Nick and her stood behind the bar.

“Always…got it?”

Nick nodded he could feel his body shaking.

Sarah raised an eyebrow, her eyes seeing the shake in Nick, Had she gone to far? She thought to herself.

“You don’t look so good?” she confirmed suddenly “are you okay?”

Nick didn’t reply he simply nodded.

Sarah rolled her eyes realising she was being a little rough on the new guy, she tapped Nick on the shoulder.

“Hey don’t worry, I’m just a little stressed tonight okay? Just relax, and pay attention you’ll be alright”.

Nick looked up and smiled at her “what do I do next?” he asked.

Sarah smiled “the best job there is”.

Nick was in the bathroom sliding the mop backwards and forwards the bathroom was in shambles and someone was on the toilet with a symphony going.

“Greeeaat” he explained as he held his breath slopping the mop back and forth as quick as he could.

Nick was minding his own business when two Coyotes walked into the bathroom standing next to one another by the troth.

“Yeah so Cory might have us a new job… two cops” He whispered leaning over into his friend ear who pushed him back and gestured his eyes back to Nick.

“What him? Hey janitor, you’re not eavesdropping are you?”

Nick who was nervous he may get caught out simply shook his head and continued to mop.

“Yeah I didn’t think so” laughed the Coyote nudging his friend “told ya”.

The two finished washed their paws and towelled them and threw the towels on the floor in front of Nick, who starred at them as he grudgingly bent over to pick them up.

“Not your issue anymore Nick…head down…” he convinced himself trying not to think of what the two Coyotes had been talking about while taking a leak.

Nick got back to the bar and Sarah was simply towling it off and checking the pressure of the taps.

Nick strolled up next to her, “need any help?” he offered

“No, but you can serve the customer waiting”

Nick turned “oh sorr-“He began until he saw who it was.

“Hello Nick” spoke a she wolf on the other side of the counter “Nice earring barkeep” she giggled.

“Hi…” said Nick his earlier confusion coming back like a wave.

“Can I please get -“she asked while her seductive eyes danced over Nick and simply fell off him, his minds only thought however was the eyes of the unknown vixen.

“A water with ice”.

“Coming right up” Nick walked over to the bar, his eyes however were watching the she wolf from the reflection in the tiles, the stance, the gaze, he couldn’t be wrong.

He scooped ice into the glass and put the glass under the tap of water turning it and placing it down in front of the she wolf.

“Thanks stud, how much is that?”

“Waters free” confirmed Sarah, intervening without realising, what Nick knew was so obvious; the she-wolf was playing games.  

“$5.00” confirmed Nick ignoring Sarah, unable to help himself from playing the game back. His years in the ZPD, screaming for him to confirm what he already knew to be true.

Sarah stopped wiping the table and stood chest to chest with Nick trying to grab his attention “No newbie water is free to customers” Nick moved his head to see past her not wanting to break eye contact with the wolf.

Nick knew the game, intimidation, seduction, information and resolution…he had seen it played much better than the she wolf was playing, he had been on the receiving end and learnt what it was and how it looked, and Nick never forgot a lesson learnt in pain.

The she-wolf smirk deepened “Okay slick, $5.00” the she-wolf opened her purse and pulled out a 5 handing it to Nick who took it and held it.

Sarah, turned back to the she-wolf whose eyes were locked with Nicks, Sarah looked at her for a moment then at the look plastered on Nicks face and realised something was not right

“What’s the catch?” asked Nick

“What about a kiss?”

“Not happening” responded Nick almost robotically, his hair standing on edge as if the question offended him, his mind going straight to the vixen, right to her defence as if kissing this wolf would be a betrayal on her.

The wolf sighed “Well then I guess I’ll be going home alone tonight after all”.

Nick needed answers and as the she wolf walked away he knew what to do.

He paused a moment thinking of whether or not this would help his situation with Pricilla, but he needed to know, he needed to verify what he knew so obviously.

Nick took a deep breath and barked as loud as he could “GUN!” he shouted.

Everyone dropped to the floor, cries of fear exiting their mouths and muzzles.

However due to years of training, the wolf had dropped the glass and in one motion held a handgun in her paws; pulled from her purse. She scanned the room for the perp with the gun; her stance typical of an operative, when there was no one else except her with a gun, she realised Wilde had gotten the better of her.

She was looking around bashfully when she gently placed her firearm into her side holster turning back to Nick who wore a smug grin.

“You’re a cop” chuckled Nick unenthused, unfolding his arms and pointing at her. “I saw the firearm from the get go”.

“God damn it” muttered the she-wolf to herself.

“Not too good at the cop game are you?” confirmed Nick scrunching up the five and throwing it on the bar.

The wolf stalked forward snatching the five dollars shoving it into her purse “I’m not the first officer to be tricked though, am I Officer Wilde”

Nick knew she must have been speaking of the deception of Judy and Jack and simply nodded in agreement, everyone who had a badge had known about his decimation. He finished with a simple sentence; “I am no officer…”

Pricilla was just behind Nick and grabbed his attention.

“What’s going on Nickie?” she asked nervously, phone in her hand ready to call the police

Nick smiled at Pricilla, “sorry, just a misunderstanding, this is officer…-”

“Sparrow, Violet Sparrow” exclaimed the wolf putting a paw out to Nick, who grasped it and shook once.

Sarah was just behind Nick, pushing herself up against the wall as close as she could, she had never seen a gun before and her heart was racing, Nick could hear it and he turned.

“Relax, she’s a police officer-“comforted Nick before his attention returned to Violet ”… so…What do you want? Jack send you? Keep an eye on me?”

While her and Nicks spoke Nick saw the two Coyotes from earlier nudge one another and make haste for the door, looking back every step or so to make sure their withdraw had not grabbed unwanted attention.

Violet laughed into the back of her paw throwing her head back “I don’t answer to that puny little runt, I’m in the K-9 division, we deal with, bigger issues…”

“Such as?”

The wolf walked forward and pinched Nick’s cheeks “If I told you that good looking, I’d have to kill you” she spoke through pursed lips, teasing Nick playfully.

Nick pulled his cheeks from her clutches “I’ve had enough of cops…I think you should leave”

“I’m not the enemy Nickie boy” explained the wolf over her shoulder as she went to leave.

“Yeah Ive heard that one before” he gnashed. “Then what are you”

The wolf did a 180 degrees turn and walked over to the bar leaning over and whispered into Nicks ear- “undercover”

The words itself burnt Nick to the core Nicks thoughts went into overdrive,” Undercover, just like her, just like him, a liar in disguise a two face, traitorous, sly! Mother fu-“.

Nick hadn’t realised but his muzzle was gently pulling back to expose his canines in an aggressive manner “Settle down Vulpes, I’m just playing”

Nick didn’t respond; he just starred at her.

She gently pulled her head back and her ears dropped to the side in sadness, she had never seen someone look at her the way Nick starred at her, with undeniable hatred and fury.

She went to speak, when a throat filled rumble left Nicks throat and without understanding or another words, she fluster turned and walked out.

There seemed, in Nicks mind at least, to be several hours of silence.

“Psst” called Pricilla to grab Nick’s attention; who seemed to be starring off into a very bad dimension full of pain, suffering and underlying rage.

Nick turn to her rigidly to see what she wanted and she gently placed her hands either side of her mouth gesturing for Nick to drop the snarl and close his mouth and hide his teeth, that’s when he noticed every set of eyes in the place where on him.

Nick turned his snarl into a genuine yet awkward smile moving as slow as possible as if people couldn’t see him do it. He stood smiling at everyone who made eye contact, patiently waited for the crowd in the pub to return to talking and eating; when they did he made a direct line over to Pricilla.

He huffed out a deep breath, reached deep into his pocket, fumbled around before he grabbed the key to his room from his pocket holding it out in an open palm.

“I’m sorry” he apologised, “I assume you would like me to leave”.

Pricilla looked at the room key being held out to her and was instantly offended, her face screwing up in disbelief at Nicks action, she grabbed Nickies paw and folded his hand into a fist, making him grasp the keys, her eyes locked with him in an annoyed way, but annoyed that he would ever assume she would leave him on the streets over a small misunderstanding; not that there had been an altercation on his first night.

“Dos tables aint gunna get clean if you keep standin ere checking me out Nickie” she explained shoving his chest playfully, her eyes softening; worried her annoyed look may scare Nick.

Nick breathed out, “how stupid can I be” he thought; his eyes praised Pricilla, she never got mad at Nick, she simply fought with all her strength to show that someone gave a shit.

The night died down and the incident with Violet had left Nicks mind, replaced only by the exhausting thoughts of his mystery Vixen.

Nick had been at the biggest table towelling the same spot in a circular motion for the last 15 minutes.

“Hey Newbie” called Sarah, placing down the bins she was taking out to empty, packed to the brim with bottles.

“yeah?” replied Nick lifting an ear to show he was listening and ceasing his methodic wiping of the table to give her his full attention.

“You did good tonight…scarred some of the patrons, but you needa be a little scary to work in places like dis”

Nick smirked he had come to notice that every now and again when Sarah spoke, there was a slip of Pricilla’s accent that would mix in, and Nick also noticed that Sarah didn’t notice she did this.

“So when is clock off time?”

“Why you tired?”

“All damn day” explained Nick turning back to his table and continuing to do small circles with his cloth.

“But you’re a fox, you should be wide awake”.

“It’s complicated” huffed Nick, who now had such little energy; he couldn’t even do the circles on the table and simply leaned on it to catch his breath.

“Yeah well, you better get use to this night shift thing, otherwise da place-le eat you alive” explained Sarah, heaving up the heavy bins full of glass bottles and continuing on her way to empty them into the industrial bin located near the car park.

Nick was in his own world when he felt a Pricilla’s hand land on his shoulder.

“Hey Nickie, you look bushed”

Nick chuckled with a nod “yeah”

Pricilla began wiping down tables and they worked side by side while talking.

“Yeah, Nightshift is hard to begin wit, but you’ll pick it up soon enough sugar, don’t even fret”.

Nick smiled at her as he forced his body one aching moment after the other to continue to clean.

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A Taste Of Hazel Chapter 10 (A Zootopia fan-story)

Nick got back to the watering hole pub, he was exhausted from his lack of sleep the night before and his body had completely betrayed him of all other forms of energy.

As he walked through the door Pricilla’s eyes popped “Wow Nickie, what did you get up to today you look horrible”.

“Thanks Pricilla, apparently this is what love make you look like”.

“Ha-ha, yeah that’s pretty much what it looks like sooner or later” she explained gesturing to her also sleep ridden face, referring to the horrible relationship she had told Nick of earlier “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it; I’m going to try and get some sleep before my shift tonight” explained Nick.

Pricilla respected his lack thereof wanting to talk “Six o’clock start Nickie, is that okay?”

Nick looked to his watch, he had to squint as it looked as though there were three watches that read 3:54pm it was two hours away, and surely he would be recuperated by then.

He put his thumb up as an okay, speaking only seemed to make him more lethargic. Nick began his way upstairs, however, a simple thought of a smile, her smile, a fox tooth, sly yet excited Grin and he was hit for home run; it was as if he caught vertigo half way up the stairs stumbling slightly his body becoming tingly as if he had pins and needles coursing through his veins.

“God darn it” he cussed slamming a closed fist into the wall.

His anger only seeming to bring on the image of the vixen symmetrical, heart warming smile.

“You okay Nickie?” called out Pricilla

By this time Nickie’s whole body was tense

“Yeah!” called out in a mixed groan Nick clenching his fist, he had been brought down on his knees and palms crawling up the stairs to his room.

He got to the room and took several shots at getting the key into the hole just to open the door, as the door swung open he made a beeline straight for the window opening it up and ripping his shirt over his head, for the longest moment he just stood in the window way as a breeze gently blew through his fur, he swayed back and forth gently with his eyes shut as if the breeze could blow him down, and with the heaviest breeze that came through he fell back turning a little to lay down on the bed sprawled out as wide as he could, he radiated heat like a furnace and his face and back were covered in sweat in seconds.

“This is unbearable” he cussed, stirring left and right trying to find a comfortable position.

“Judy” he grumbled to himself “Judy Laverne Hopps. Jack Savage, Bogo dying, TYRONE FUCKING WILDE!” he tried using the names to flush his body with anger, but each time he said their name, the Vixens face would pop up in his mind and seemingly effortlessly wash the memories away, her toothy smile and shy demeanour spreading like a toxic plague inside Nicks mind.

“Arg!” he shouted throwing his pillow across the room and taking the foetal position hugging into himself tight, his guts feeling like he had just been pushed out of an aeroplane.

The last he remembered he was counting the second on his watch to try and take his mind of her only to black out at 4:15pm.

 Hazel got home and had been shaky the whole way, her nose had itched like crazy and her fur stood on end, she was embarrassed she knew what it was, and how other animals would be looking at her if they also knew, she felt glad she had not run into any other foxes.

She got to her apartment and tried several times to open the door, having dropped her keys twice.

“Phew” she exclaimed as she finally got the door open, she wiped her forehead along her forearm, sweat ridden.

She ran inside throwing her bag on the couch and making her way to the large refrigerator in the kitchen, she threw the door open and leaned inside. Small strokes of steam gently swaying in the air as the hot air left her body and collided with the cool air of the fridge.

“Jesus Hazel, pull yourself together” she grumbled at herself, knowing what this feeling was and trying to deal with it the way her father taught her.

She felt red hot and picked up a glass bottle that was in the door of the fridge opening it and basically drinking it top to bottom before placing it to her forehead.

“So… this is what it really feels like?”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the gold ring tossing it in front of her so it landed on the ground, the wedding band rolling in a circle before falling over with a soft “thud”

She starred longingly out the window as sorrowful memories seeped past her fur and deep into her skin.

She sighed closing her eyes “How did you ever trick me into thinking what we had was anything like this” she spoke angrily before opening her eyes and looking into the pictures on her phone throwing it also across the floor, where it slid beside the ring, a portrait picture of Hazel and a very dashing fox poking their tongue out being silly in a selfie.

“You, me, we were nothing like this Red” She breathed out to herself trying to control her breathing and compose herself. Using her shirt to fan herself. 

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Try Everything

Nicks eyes glazed over, Judy was there, on the ground holding her guts, Jack was pinned, no gun, with his paws trying frantically to help Judy, he never meant for things to end this way, Tyrone held the gun in his paw, with a smirk of cruel intentions. His finger danced with the pistol trigger.

“Time to end this” he hisses

Nick only had one thing he can do, what an officer would do. He holds onto a phrase repeating it as he runs in, why this phrase he ponders, he had only heard this song a handful of times, yet this was to be the metronome.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps…

A pounding beat of life, a clock wound down to the last second

He remembered walking down the flight of stairs, his brand-new scout uniform ironed and pressed, his dreams of fitting in coming so close to true, to see the eyes of mammals waiting

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps…

As he raised his hand “I Nick Wilde promise to be brave, loyal, helpful and trustworthy” the sound of a shot rings off, and Nick’s legs carry him faster with urgency.

As black smoke and bullets spew out the end of Tyrone’s pistol, spelling the end for one Jack Savage.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps…

“Did you ever think we would trust a fox without a muzzle?”, “What did I do?” cried Nick, “If the world is only going to see a fox as shifty and cunning why be anything else” Judy’s paw lingers on his arm, a feeling he never forgot, the memory twists and turns sick and demented in his mind as he comes back to reality, to see Jack holding his eyes shut ready and protecting Judy with his body, ready for what was coming.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps…

He holds his breath sliding in front of Jack with his arms out, he shields his entirety, Jacks eyes widening in shock at Nicks actions, Nicks deep green emerald eyes locking with Jacks aquatic blue a smile planted on Nicks face, a smile that say “Sorry” but for what does Nick have to say sorry Jack ponders.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps…

Nick looks up at the podium where Judy stands smiling down on him and he knew that was the moment he fell in love, how silly a fox to be in love with a bunny

“Look after her” he mouths to Jack, his eyes lingering on Jack before looking to Judy, the bunny, his bunny, would he die for her, your damn right he would.

“THUD” “THUD” “THUD”, three bullets tear into Nicks back, his blue uniform torn by the velocity of the bullets small pieces of fabric flutter to the cold ground of the shed on pier 12

He grinds his teeth to hold in the pain. “Judy and me, Judy and me, Judy and me” his mind repeats to himself, giving him something stronger then the pain to think of.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps….

The sound of a gunshot rings out and Fangmyer who is screaming through the window cannot be heard as if everything was placed on mute.

“Try everything”

Judy reaches out for Nick, her voice also lost in the void of soundlessness.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps….

Nick remembers the moment he made love to Judy and the ring he had chosen through the window of a store once “I’ll give that to her one day” he continually told himself, each time he past the jewellery store, the ring, that he may never give to her.

Nicks can feel the blood dripping from his wounds, it feels as though his uniform has sticky soft drink spilt on it, something he knew the feeling of well, his hustling days with Finnick, sticky pawsicles… “Silly Finnick” chuckles Nicks mind, before he did an inaudible yawn “Man I’m tired” he thought to himself calmly.

“Try everything”, Nicks heart skips a beat, a sickly and unusual feeling…

He can tell its slowing down, Nicks knees shake he can feel his life going, he remembers his mums loving embrace the last time she held him before he ran away from home. Telling her “I don’t want to be a fox”

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps, a little slower this time.

He drops to his knee, Tyrone has dropped the gun, the gun meant for Jack but that has now hit Nicholas, his own boy, his child, his son.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps, fused with adrenaline fighting the inevitable.

He looks to Judy a smirk on his face “Fluff? Is it cold?” he asks with a silly smile, Judy’s face moist with tears knowing he was going delusional, Her response muted, a deaf sentence, but he sees her scurrying to get over to him, the blood soaked dirt beneath her paws making it hard for her to stand and get to him. “She’s so beautiful” says Nicks thoughts bashfully.

Jack reaches out grabbing Nick making sure he doesn’t fall. Jack is covered in so much blood, a mix of his, Judy’s and Nicks. Nick thinks about Jack for a moment, simply misunderstood, “I forgive you, your okay” thinks Nick nodding while starring deep into Jacks eyes.

Jack looks on with worry as to why Nick is nodding at him so calmly.

“Try everything” Nicks heart pumps

As he remembers the day he and Judy shared a cappuccino and he had chocolate foam on his lip, she grabbed and kissed him, before she licked it off and it made him go home and ponder all through the night, the love he felt for her, “But maybe she was just being playful?” he convinced himself.

Nick hits the dirt and Jack and Judy have their paws frantically trying to stop the blood. Nick grabs Judy’s ear and drags his claw up it, the same way he did in her apartment, he doesn’t want to die, her purple eyes the closest thing heaven could be.

“Try everything” the sound of the song became more than a metronomic buzz he was repeating to himself, he could now hear the song clear as day, standing at the concert dancing with Judy; bumping her hip into his until he danced with her.

“Try everything” the words of the song are coming out elongated and deep, and send a shuddering moment of fear through Nick’s entirety.

“Try everything” Nick remembers his first day as a police officer with Judy and the proud smile that never left her furry cheeks, as he caught her smiling at him with pride the whole day.

“Try everything”, “Wait… My heart hasn’t pumped for a while” thinks Nick nervously.

Nicks heart pumps…. He sighs with relief.

Nicks points to his pockets and looks to Jack with a nod.

Jack is confused at first until he realises what Nicks means, he nods once, understanding what Nick asks, Jack grabs the hand gun in Nicks pants and raising it without needing to look, a pro marksman, he takes aim at Tyrone who stands with misery in his eyes, his arms out, ready for his punishment.

“I’m so sorry Nick” Tyrone mutters through a quivering lip, the first tear he had ever cried dripping out his eye. “I’m sorry my boy”

Jack pulls the trigger, a usual perfect shot.

“BANG”

Tyrone’s body hits the floor, blood encircling.

Nicks heart…. Nicks heart…. Nicks heart….

 Nicks heart fails, his breath ceases and his paw drops from Judy’s ear, Judy begins CPR

Jack looks around at the chaos and blood; he can’t even hear himself screaming for help at the top of his lungs.

Fangmyer feels his heart break, with tear soaked eyes as he looks through the window to see Nick lying limp in Judy’s arms. He screams into his two way for an ambulance, for an office down… for someone to save Nick”

“Try Everything Nicholas…” whispers a mysterious soft voice in Nick’s ear as his mind goes blank…

“Try everything”.

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Just something I need to write about.

So, When I was about 19 I was heavily into the Native American culture, their history, their beliefs and their side of the story. (shock horror they have one) anyways, I remember around this time reading several extremely potent novels ( I use the word potent as they were deeply thought provoking)

books included “Touch the earth” and “among the Shoshone”, each time I had a spare moment I would chew through these books, making sure to read and re read parts that truly poked at my brain. If given the chance please read some of these novels, you will not regret it and it will make you so much more....aware.

I remember around this time I was sleeping a whole lot, I was working 2 jobs to save for a trip and a house deposit, I was working 90 hours a week, completely exhausted but always dreaming.

I had a list of music I used to help myself sleep some songs included (ironically) “need some sleep”, “28 weeks later theme song”, “imogen heap-”what ya say” etc etc.

anyways this whole post is firstly to say I think, that reading these novel and trying to grasp the wholality of things was immeasurably inherent on my dreams being so fluent and explaining the dream 

I had a dream, and wrote a very short story based off this dream;

I was chasing/searching someone, whose face I couldn't make out; however I believed it to be the face of a friend of mine (female) named Liz. 

I had just lost my fiance in the dream it had been years four or so and life was not good. I wanted to see her, to feel her, to be with her once more, but even in my dream the despair of death and the knowledge of being unable to change that was apparent. (I have never lost anyone that close to me, but the dream was perplexing in the fact I could feel exactly what it must feel like)

Anyways Liz had come to me, but Liz I knew was not this Liz. Liz I knew was simplistic and to the point, a scholar no doubt.

But this Liz had a look in her eyes (vivid and worldly the look you don’t get from just reading books) and I knew she was looking for me, she was here for me. 

“you miss her huh?”- the first words from her mouth, that were followed by a stream of tears, a bitten lip as a I nodded in agreeance through the painful thought.

“this world is only one of a million, I can take you to a world were T never died” (T is my Fiances Nickname)

“Great” I replied “How do we get there?” 

“you have to die... T is not dead, she simply moved to the next place” and  I knew Liz didn't mean heaven or hell.

I was scarred and petrified, my whole life I was told taking your life deliberately was a sin, was this apparition the devil coming with an ultimatum of tricky, was this a test? or was it just a kooky dream.

I told Liz, “fuck it”, if T’s not here in this world, then weather she was telling me the truth or not, I was going to take the plunge.

So I tried to get myself crushed by a very large boat near one of the docks were I live, I chickened out.

she said I needed to die if i wanted T and that we could do it an easier way.

I said okay, but also told her I needed a day, I wanted to live one more day.

and on that last day I did childish things, I played Tag with Liz, I watched the sun set, I walked on the beach, Liz tackled me and we kissed, I was about to travel into the unknown to save the love of my life, but I kissed someone else, because I was scared and if I were gunna just die cause she was some menacing presence, May as well do all the thing I wanted on my last day.

I sat in a chair, the time had come, Liz had a box, a silver, briefcase looking box (the ones bad guys in moves have that have nuclear bomb and stuff in them) she opened it and I felt I was in a Councillor/psychologist meeting laying down while she set up her equipment.

From the box she pulled out a see through tube with a needle attached.

she stuck the needle connected to tube into my arm, in that same place they take blood for donations.

music played over and I had an out of body experience. I was out of my body watching myself like a movie the music still played and I remember it clear as day (28 days later theme played)

she turned the machine on and a green liquid made its way up the funnel toward my veins. I knew what it was but I looked at Liz and I said 

“does it hurt?”

she smiled as if ready to go on an adventure and said “Not one bit, see you when we get there”

I remember my last vision was of the green liquid hitting the vein in my arm and then I woke up in my bed; 4:50pm 10 minutes before my shift at the pub started (literally just down the road)

I Don’t know why I told you guys this story, just needed to get it off my chest I guess.

Like I said  I did a whole short story on this. but It was not as good as the dream, the dream was like a movie and I knew I could never re create it. 

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A Taste Of Hazel Chapter 9 (A Zootopia fan-story)

Nick woke up early, he always did, it was the awesome thing about being a fox.

He was not the only one awake, he could clearly hear the “clink” of glasses downstairs being moved around and the magnet strips of the fridge doors slapping shut every few minutes.

“God does she ever sleep?”

He dragged himself from the nice warm cover of his bed sheets and made his way to the small bathroom, the room Pricilla had given him wasn’t grand by any stretch but it was cozy and safe feeling, and was a million times better than being the bum on a seat.

The blanket was thrown over Nicks shoulders and he sported only his boxers. He got to the small medicine cabinet in the outdated bathroom and gently brushed his paw over his cheeks and chin, a shave and clean up was definitely in order.

He began to fill the sink with water and splashed his face several times taking out an electric razor and getting to work, he brushed his face in the small towel he had bought with his clothes yesterday and looked into the mirror to see what almost resembled a dashing middle aged fox.

He smiled at himself and the reflection smiled back he; reached a paw out and placed it on the mirror and for the longest moment just starred.

He jumped when there was a banging at the door.

“Hello?” he called from the bathroom.

“Hey Nickie it’s just me sweetie, just making sure you haven’t hung yaself in der”.

Nick chuckled, but didn’t know whether or not she was serious.

“Still alive!” he shouted out to her.

“That’s good sweetie, look, I know you’re not meant to work right now but can you give me a hand changing the kegs downstairs in the cellar, they are heavy to boot”.

“Do you ever sleep?” replied Nick looking at the bedside table and the time of the morning.

“Nope, meet you downstairs sugar”.

“Be there in a minute”

Nick heard her walking away as the floorboard creaked.

He get dressed in nice black shirt and sported some casual cargo pants, he came down stairs rolling his sleeves up ready to help Pricilla.

“Okay, where these kegs at” he asked looking around, only to see Pricilla sitting at a table with bowls of food sitting in the middle. Scrambled eggs, toast with lobs of butter, blueberry pie, and other assortments lay on the table.

Nick stopped halfway through rolling his sleeves up, there was no kegs, there was no work to be done, Pricilla got up early to make him breakfast.

Pricilla noticed the silence and looked to the food “I tought you might be hungry, didn’t wana ask when ya last real meal was, so I wiped together some of the good stuff in the kitchen hopin youd like sometin I put out”.

Nick gingerly placed his paw on the spine of the chair in front of him and took a seat his eyes locked on Pricilla then down to the unbelievably delicious looking delicacies in front of him, his eyes unable to move and his body frozen.

Pricilla noticed a saddening look in Nickie and pried “What’s wrong sweetie?” She asked placing her palm on his closest forearm trying to get him to look at her.

Nick hastily made eye contact with her, his brow creased in confusion and heartbreak.

“Why are you doing all this for me?” he asked, as if her making him breakfast was the equivalent of dying for his sins.

“Because, there isn’t an ounce of bad in you Nicholas Wilde, not a single drop, and I’ve known dat from de first day you walked in ere”

Nick simply nodded thinking deeply on her words.

Nick smiled at her as he raised a spoonful of cheerio’s to his mouth and cheered her with it taking the first bite of an unbelievable diverse banquet.

Nick finished breakfast and sat slouched in his chair his paws resting on his belly.

“Ugh, I’m stuffed, where did you learn to cook like that?”

Pricilla giggled as she cleared the table, “Well after my husband left me for a young better looking broad, I had to fend for myself, didn’t have many other things I was good at, but hey I’m a Hippo, so I know good food, ever heard the saying as big as a Hippo?”

Nick chuckled as he continued to listen.

“Well anyways, I could pour a beer and make a feed and so when we divorced and I got my settlement I opened dis ere bar, I never ad much faith in my own abilities, me hubby was always debasing me and making me feel worthless, but den dis place, it took off you know, people love coming ere for karaoke and I love being a part of people’s parties and fun it worked out well”.

“What about him?” asked Nick.

“Last I heard, his Gal left him for another Hog and he ended up taking the easy way out”.

Nicks face turned to shock.

Pricilla just shrugged “Ya win some ya lose some Nickie”

“Is that why you were worried about me last night?”

Pricilla smirked, walked over and placed her hoof on Nicks shoulder awaiting his eyes contact and when she got it she explained “No, I checked on you last night for a different reason....you see Nickie there are two types of people  those who take their life when they are hurt bad, like my ex husband. The second Nickie…. The second is why I checked on you, the second ones they take their life just when things are starting to get better, they do it like that, because they think if it gets better again, that sooner or later it will go back to being bad, and they don’t want to live with that feeling ever again, that lonely...lonely feeling”.

Nick knew the words were for him, she wanted him to think long and hard, that is why she had waited for his eyes contact.

“But you’ll never be alone Nickie” Trust me she said with a smile while she picked up Nicks plates; that’s when Nick noticed it, faint and barely visible, fading scars riddled up the arm of Pricilla. Nick looked to the scar then to Pricilla, who didn’t seem ashamed or shy away she just starred at them also while addressing Nick.

“It always gets better Nick”.  

There was a long silence as Pricilla placed the plates in the sink to clean; “Now get outta here Nick, you have work tonight, I suggest you get some sleep, I hear you up there last night I know it’s tough to sleep here sometimes, but last night was quiet”.

Pricilla was right the music from the jukebox the night before and the constant sound of other animals talking and laughing made Nick anxious and made it hard for Nickie to sleep, but he didn’t care, according to Pricilla last night was a quiet night and perhaps he just needed to get use to it.  

Nick got up from the table and made his way to the door, the words of Pricilla echoed his mind and made him truly thought provoked, he couldn’t shake what she said, but he knew where he was going, he was going to make things better.

He reached the park that he had slept in for so long, he checked his watch, he didn’t have much time, he went to run, when the sound of a bus behind him honking grabbed his attention, and he saw it the red ears of a Vixen inside the bus.

“No, I’m too late” he cursed, annoyed at himself for dawdling on the way. He kicked a rock and placed his hand in his pockets walking through the park, he knew where his body was going, straight to his usual seat, he got to his old home and placed his rump down on the park bench, grumbling to himself about how stupid he was.

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Sneek Peek Chapter 9

“F…Fr…Fray…Dr Fray…” he huffed and puffed. “Sir what’s the problem?” asked the receptionist.

Nick grasped at his chest “Ppp please… I need to see the Doctor, I can’t breathe…” he stated placing his other paw on the bench, it’s shake was unstoppable.

The receptionist saw his paw and began to freak; out picking up the phone. “Yes…Fray, you have a client out here. Yes. What’s your name?”

“…Nick…” he choked out, his chest tight and sore.

The lady put down the phone.

“Nick, the doctor will be-“

Before she could finish the door opened and Fray stood there with a worried look on her face “Nick what’s wrong?”

Nick ran to her grabbing her by the wrist and going into the doctor’s office, he let go of her wrist once the door was shut and fell back onto a chair unbuttoning his shirt to unveil his fit body and chest to Fray who was a little shocked at first; that Nick was still so fit.

“Fray something’s wrong… I can’t breathe…”

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A Taste Of Hazel Chapter 8

Fangmyer left Nick knowing full well he better get back to the office and face his punishment. He had even prepared, by taking off his tie and taking his badge from his wallet.

He starred longingly at the shiny brass that had ZPD etched deep into it. “I became a cop to protect...” he muttered sadness washing over him as he thought back to all the horrible wrong the ZPD had done to Nick.

“This has been my whole life” he explained to himself, thinking of how he would let this badge drop into the hands of the likes of one Jack Savage.

As he starred at the badge he remembered back to high school, being bashed for being in love, he knew Nicks pain, he could feel it each time he looked into his friends eyes. But if the ZPD has changed from protecting the innocent and hiring the scum, then Fangmyer knew, he would gladly hand over the badge.

He got to the ZPD and as soon as he entered the front doors Chuck was sitting on the front counter; Clawhauser’s desk, holding an ice pack to his eyes, Delgato patting his back. His face looked like an artist got mad at a block of clay and simply went to work on it with his fists.

As Fangmyer strolled through the door both Chuck and Delgato look to him, only when he was inside did he notice Jack standing offside, with a notepad in his paws taking down a statement, Fangmyer reached into his back pocket preparing to hand over his badge.

Jack followed Delgato and Chuck’s gaze before turning back to Chuck.

“And you didn’t get a good look at the guy?” quizzed Jack with a disbelieving glance. Chuck and Delgato, whose eyes stayed poised on Fangmyer, simply nodded in agreement to Jack’s statement.

He flicked the notepad shut turning to look at Fangmyer.

“Odd” is all Jack stated, his eyes giving a quick glance to Fangmyer’s swollen knuckles.

“Take him and get him stitched up” ordered Jack pivoting to point at Delgato and Chuck.

Delgato and Chuck both got up heading for the door, neither set of their eyes leaving Fangmyer, who had to struggle to hold back a hiss.

“Tragic isn’t it” interrupted Jack, catching Fangmyer’s attention “the streets are a dangerous place, looks like the new recruit learnt that the hard way”, Jacks eyes scrutinised Fangmyer as he spoke.

“Yeah, better to learn rules like that early on” confirmed Fangmyer.

“So what are you doing back?” pried Jack, flicking his sleeve up to check his watch.

“You aren’t meant to be on break for another hour and a half”

Fangmyer casually held up his ticket machine, “Out of paper” he lied, playing the game Jack so obviously wanted to play.

“You’re a good officer Fangmyer; but you better watch your actions and attitude”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to Jack” replied Fangmyer

“Chief” corrected Jack “Chief Savage, and I’m talking about how you have been conducting yourself and please keep your anger under control”

“Your one to talk” muttered Fangmyer.

“What was that?” asked Jack raising his ear, as if he didn’t hear Fangmyer but so obviously did.

Fangmyer took a deep breath; “I said, sir yes sir”.

“Good, get back to those cars” dismissed Jack.

Fangmyer turned and went to leave, a demonic, victories grin made its way across Jacks lips.

“Fangmyer?”

Fangmyer turned “Yes sir?” he grumbled with as much respect in his tone as he could muster.

“I thought you needed more paper?”

Fangmyer turned and feigned a smile, annoyed he had been caught out, but he kept his cool “That’s correct, thank you Jack” he confirmed as he walked past Savage to head to the stationary cupboard to go get more parking ticket paper.

“Chief” corrected Savage as Fangmyer past him.

Fangmyer froze next to him; “Thank you, Chief” said Fangmyer trying to keep his cool. 

“One last thing Fang’s”

“Fangmyer” corrected Fangmyer staring down on the rodent.

“Fangmyer”, corrected Jack.

Jack went to speak, he needed to ask Fangmyer, he needed to know if Nick was okay, for his daughter …and himself , but then he heard it, he heard Nick speak into his ear; the voice coming from over his should; soft and ominous.

Jacks eyes stayed poised forward and his mouth hung open.

Fangmyer went to get angry when he saw the look on Jacks face, and by god he knew the look, it was the same look, the look he had seen a thousand times, the look Darla had given him when her brother and his friends bashed him and put him in hospital, guilt.

Fangmyer took a knee placing his giant paw on Jacks shoulder as he sat paralysed, stunned like a fish out of water. Jack cranked his neck against some deathly invisible force to look at Fangmyer, hoping for comfort.

Fangmyer leaned in deep so his mouth was right in Jacks ear, the overbearing shadow of Nick’s ghost whispered frantically in one ear from behind him and Fangmyer whispered into his left from in front.

“Act tough all you want, but I see through you Savage….If you think the guilt of what you have done goes away Jack, it doesn’t”

Fangmyer pulled back slowly, a strained tear gently rolling down the fur of Jacks face. Fangmyer tapped him twice on the shoulder, simply got up and walked away, Jack simply swaying with the taps standing silent and cold starring into the void.

“Have a good day Chief” called back Fangmyer heading for the door.

Jacks scrapped at the barrel for something to yell back but came back empty, turning and running towards his office, his alcohol and his meds.

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