Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.

(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)

Merry: call me a Took one more time

Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took it’s a Took

Merry: I will END you

Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled

Frodo: look it’s perfectly simple. The Brandybucks don’t like the Tooks because they play golf and think they’re better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks don’t like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because they’re annoying.

Aragorn: are you… Including yourself in that

Frodo: I said what I said.

Frodo: now the Bagginses don’t like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because they’re highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned I’m a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile

Merry: which just means he’s not pug-ugly

Frodo: quite.

Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.

Gandalf: Hm now I wouldn’t say UGLY but… every Baggins I’ve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square… There is no middle ground.

Gimli, baffled: Frodo isn’t round OR square

Merry: that’s because he has the Brandybuck profile

Gimli: so… Is he a Brandybuck…

Merry: ABSOLUTE not

Frodo: slander!! I’m a Baggins how dare you

Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins

Frodo: my father… Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived… A perfect Sphere of hobbit…

frodo: my father was an absolute UNIT

Meanwhile Sam is sitting by the camp fire going: Don’t look at me, this is all gentlehobbit nonsense. My folks have sense

—wheezing— @north-peach

Aragorn: And Bilbo Baggins is…?

Frodo: The hobbit who went on a year long journey with dwarven royalty to chase a dragon from a pile of shiny rocks.

Pippin: His Tookishness was so oppressed for over half his life, that when it finally overcame his Bagginsness it reached levels of Took never seen before.

Gimli: Bilbo Baggins??? The BURGLAR??  

the fact the new series of hypothetical isn’t allowed to talk about the pandemic just in case people forget it happened is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever heard

Watch me scheduling this to be re-reblogged in two years for obvious reasons that I might forget in that time.

its the no notes ghoast

tumblr’s code may change but no notes ghost stays the same

Oh thank god

imagine the shit storm when tumblr finally becomes so dysfunctional that this post’s total notes is finally revealed

In case anyone’s curious about what happened to this post, it has to do with how we tally up notes. Likes and reblogs always add to the note count of the root post (the OP). However, the note count relies on the previous value of the root post before adding more notes to it.

Normally when you delete a post, it’s gone, but not gone gone. Just deleted from public never to be seen again. The database entry is still there, just inaccessible.

This post, however, the root post is just gone. Gone gone. Gone forever. Everything attached to it is still there, but since the root post is hard deleted, it’s got nothing to add to. When the note counter tries to add notes to nothing, it goes nowhere.

So it throws every new note into the void. Goodbye forever, notes.

I’m not sure if we’ll ever know the real number of notes on this post.

date of origin: unknown

some programmer decided to make this edge case by obliterating its root and ‘ghostifying’ the reblog chain, and now it is the most weirdly tumblr mild creepypasta I can imagine: what a gift to the world

omfg that is just too adorable

This will always be one of my favorite comics ever. It gives me warm fuzzies~

This is the most perfect.

This kitteh having a little halloween adventure is one of my favourite posts of all time :)

Every fall like clockwork this photo set pops up and we all must reblog it

ANNE WITH AN E (2017-2019) Season 2 - Episode 1 ➤ Youth Is the Season of Hope

October can’t come soon enough

IT IS AUGUST

This has been in my likes since last year. It is time.

This is the 21st night of September skeleton. He only appears once a year.

Spooky Time is approaching…

Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. That’s a tough one. MISS CONGENIALITY (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

We really don’t talk enough about how Artoo went into the desert to find Obi-Wan because no kid would be stupid enough to follow him into Tusken territory and then this kid chases him down and gets beaten up and his unconscious body is dragged back to his landspeeder and Artoo looked down and went “This one. This one knows how to have a good time.”

#he’d had adventures but really all those rebels were too cautious for him#he’d served Anakin Skywalker there was just no coming back#and then there’s this nerdy kid who kinda sorta reminds him of that guy#and then Obi-Wan says “your father wanted you to have this” and pulls out ANAKIN’S KRIFFING LIGHTSABER#and Artoo just EXPLODES because NO WAY THIS IS THAT KID??!#and he cross-references his old memory banks and THERE’S PADME NAMING THE KID “LUKE” THIS IS THE KID#THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM ANAKIN’S SON#NO WONDER HE COULDN’T ESCAPE#also no wonder he could fool this idiot to take off the restraining bolt#HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN#and he was ride or die forever#and about two days later he DID die#but he got better#so really WOW this guy IS the best#artoo detoo

Watson and Holmes have a true crime podcast. Holmes goes off on very boring scientific tangents at least thrice an episode and Watson guides him back on topic with his extremely dry sense of humor. Lestrade is occasionally a guest on the show and Holmes finds new ways to subtly suggest he’s an idiot. Mycroft is in like one show a year and the fans love him because he’s unexpectedly very funny. They ask for more Mycroft episodes and it becomes a running gag that every week Mycroft is in a different obscure location where he cannot he reached. Mrs. Hudson invites herself in and knows a suspicious amount about dismemberment strategy and blood spatter.

Watson: Hello, and welcome back to the show. The elder Holmes will not be consulting on this case as he is still trapped in the catacombs and we have received word he has dropped his phone in a puddle of Parisian sewage. Rotten luck, truly. In other news, our landlady has begun rendering fat for the creation of lye soap, she claims it is lard but we have not seen her bridge club rival in some time. We will certainly come back to that later but now for the more pressing topic.

Holmes: This week we will be discussing the rash of arsenic poisonings occurring in Whitechapel between 1884 and 1887.

Watson: This week we WILL be discussing the rash of arsenic poisonings occurring in Whitechapel between 1884 and 1887, so help us God.

Watson: How have you been since we last spoke, Lestrade.

Lestrade: Well, somewhat vexed. A woman in my jurisdiction received a pair of human ears in the post and my wife has left m-

Holmes: WAIT WAIT, GO BACK!

Watson: EARS?

Holmes: EARS?!?!?!?

They also have a “Toby Tax” which is an agreement that they’ll post a new picture of Toby every time he barks in the background of the podcast.

Toby is a retired cadaver dog that Holmes rescued and Toby occasionally assists him in cases.

music historian Irene Adler was a guest in one episode (about the sordid personal lives of 19th century European opera stars) and fans will not stop begging them to have her back on

oh my gosh you guys are geniuses THIS IS THE MODERN ADAPTATION WE NEED seriously I need this someone get on it

OKAY HERE THIS ONE SHOULD WORK REGARDLESS OF LIGHT OR DARK MODE USAGE >:]

Ok this is the April fools day shit I can get behind!

I wasn’t planning on anything for April Fools’. But THIS magnificence couldn’t be passed up. 😜

Transcript:

[tapping sound, followed by stabbing sound and suspenseful music]

Red, offscreen: [ahem]

Blue: You were right. Black's the imposter.

Red: OH REALLY??

I love the angry eyes for Red XD

the wildest thing about this is the fact that you can carbon date this based on the use of the mask. 

The entire cast of critical role thirsting over the briarwoods: a compilation

CRITICAL ROLE vs. THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA

Bioluminescence series by Rob Rey

(Rob Rey’s Tumblr)

This is so goddamn beautiful

[ID: a photo of three hands clasping, with the hands labelled DD/MM/YYYY, MM/DD/YYYY and YYYY/MM/DD. The centre caption reads 'today is 2222']

Neil Young is so hot for this, everyone should remove their music from spotify and everyone should stop paying for it, return to your roots, remember the days of limetorrents

IT IS STARTING

IT CONTINUES

What exactly is going on here?

Spotify pays its artists pennies but because most people use Spotify or a similar music streaming service, most artists put up with it so people actually listen to their music. As far as I understand it, the only money they really make is off merch and concerts rather than people actually playing their music. Which is, of course, unfair. Hence these artists’ protest.

neil young actually pulled his music from spotify bc they platform joe rogan’s vaccine misinformation, not because of streaming revenue. he threatened spotify that if they didn’t deplatform joe rogan that he would pull his music, and they let him pull his music instead.

Neil and Joni are both polio survivors. Neil can’t really feel his left hand, because of the whole “they had to remover vertebrae from his spine due to the polio” thing, and both of them are extremely pro-vaccine and medical science because of that. Rogan’s anti-vax stance was explicitly what caused Neil to walk, and Joni followed suit.