Wait, fuck, does having the way you’re taught Sex Ed in middle and high school leave you so intimately aware of all the ways sex could lead to extremely bad results and killing off any desire you personally had in ever being sexually intimate with another person count as trauma? God, fuck, it does, doesn’t it? Goddamn it, how did I not notice this one, how did I make it this long going “Sex sounds great, but thanks to my teachers I’m too scared of STDs and accidental pregnancy to try it!“ and think that was in any way appropriately normal? Fucking- just when I think I’m comfortably aware of everything I have trauma over, damn it-!!!!!
I’m not even upset, I’m just pissed at this point, I knew that they probably weren’t teaching it very well at the time, I’m just annoyed that I apparently didn’t roll with it as well as I thought I did, damn it-!!!
Was looking at one of the old My Little Pony movies for the first time since I hit my thirties and also since I formally realized I have a Major Thing for non-human yet humanoid characters. Like, oh.
Oh.
No wonder I thought Scorpan was so much better as the weird, hairy, winged creature-thing than when he turned into a prince. Apparently I’ve just Always Been Into This.
Like, exhibit A:
Cool, kinda spicy, nice snoot, can fly, could hold you in his strong, fur-covered arms, big pointy ears, growly-gruff kinda voice, but can be tender, works for the bad guy but obviously doesn’t want to.
Exhibit B:
Some guy. Like, rockin’ the tiara, more guys should have the courage to, but, at the end of the day... just some guy.
...
...I would be embarrassed, but, frankly, I stand by kid-me’s taste, she knew what she was about!
dragonfishdreams reblogged
Theory: Kirk’s ripped shirt in the newer movies doesn’t have small holes because it’s improperly portraying just how horribly he can destroy his uniform, it’s because he’s just at the beginning of his shirt-ripping career. From what I understand, even the beginning of TOS is set much later than the most recent of the new Trek movies, so Kirk’s still a bit new at this.
I choose to believe that, given time, this alternate version of Kirk will also eventually master how to properly rip his shirt during a mission, and will one day make it back to the bridge in a shirt of which nothing remains but the collar and one sleeve clinging to it with a sort of forlorn determination.
*kirk holding communicator, yelling more and more aggressively at scotty to beam him up*
*kirk arrives on transporter pad, red shirts are stunned*
*people wont stop looking as he walks to the bridge*
*turbolift doors open to reveal kirk wearing just his collar and right sleeve, which at this point is basically a couple threads held together by the will of god only, everything else is either shredded beyond recognition or gone entirely*
*mccoy summons a cigarette and a bottle of alcohol, spock refuses to look*
XD I love it!
dragonfishdreams reblogged
girl you look like you drop common loot when defeated
boy you don’t even drop gold when defeated, you got no room to talk
Rich is being able to go get a personal pan pizza at Pizza Hut because it’s just the right size and you like the pizza, and then being able to casually leave your server a $20 tip just because they brought you your pizza and you appreciated it.
dragonfishdreams reblogged
It’s kind of amusing to hear all this talk about humans being an apex predator species - I mean, I love it, but technically, by our own standards of rating predators, we aren’t, because we still have animals around on Earth that will munch us down if push comes to shove. We’re not like bears or wolves or any of the really big members of the big cat family - yes, we can and do hunt, but as often as not we foraged.
Heck, we still do that in many ways, even in the urban environments we have made for ourselves. We are the species that will stare you in the eye as we steal the food off your plate, then add insult to injury by checking to make sure it’s clean enough, get everywhere we’re not supposed to because we are cunning little buggers that are hard to keep out, will hoard shiny things even though we know they aren’t useful because they are shiny, okay, and then we’ll go and do something adorable so that you love us anyway, at least until you notice that we’ve just scuttled off with half your wiring because we needed it for something important.
Humans aren’t the wolves or tigers or bears of the universe.
We’re the raccoons.
So what you’re saying instead of spaces orcs, we’re space goblins?
Yes.
Tired of guys who think they’re funny coming up to me and asking “Oh, are you Zelda?” when I’m cosplaying Link just because I’m a girl. Next time this happens I’m telling them, “Actually, Zelda’s the antagonist of the game - I’m the protagonist, Ganondorf.” Then I’ll get to sit back and watch them try to dig themselves out of that hole. -U-
dragonfishdreams reblogged
I remember a while ago someone was interested in the pirate version of the Shia LaBeouf song that I mentioned so I finally got my shit together and took a video of it. It’s pretty brilliant.
the-prettiest-raccoon
There was no way I was not going to share this piratical version of That song. You know of what I speak.
ineloquentformalities
I thought you might have been kidding. oh my god.
“That’s the real ending, you can clap.”
I posted this two years ago and it just got reblogged holy shit how is this still going around?
I- fuck the song, that’s my Faire!!! That’s the Ball and Chain Stage, those are the Rakish Rogues, I was on cast there in 2019, wtf?!?!?!???
How strange to feel nostalgic and homesick for a world that was dying even as I left it twenty-two years ago. How unspeakably odd to know that something stands there still, but the place I remember is gone forever.
(takes a deep breath)
(screams in Mystery Skulls Animated)
I just want the girl who wears short skirts and the girl who wears t-shirts to get together and be happy, I don’t care if that’s not what the song is technically going for, I’ve been hearing bits of it in stores and thinking it was about a shy, kinda butch young lesbian pining after a pretty femme for years I’m not going to let something as trivial as the actual lyrics of the song stop me now! Let the cheer captain have noticed her sitting on the bleachers all this time and think her t-shirts look nice on her!
Just sayin’, current world events are makin’ it real hard to romance those who acquire my affections in the manner the ancient gods of my ancestors demand of me. Like, covid 19’s a virus, it doesn’t even have a skull, and even if it did it probably wouldn’t make a suitable drinking vessel for the one who holds my heart. This is very inconsiderate of it, and I would like to lodge a formal complaint.
Hello, yes, I’ve reached zero, I would like to get off the train now, please.
(did this with a yellow highlighter and a black light - it looks even better in person, it actually makes almost the exact right shade of green and really looks like it’s glowing!)
Honestly... the news that Bryke have left the live action Avatar remake doesn’t really effect my thoughts on the show’s potential in a negative manner. Like... yeah, they made Avatar originally... but they’ve also proven to be fallible on multiple occasions within the past. While both have their good points, some very poor decisions were made with both the comics and with Legend of Korra, in terms of the writing and the content, and Korra at least really suffers in comparison to the original Avatar in terms of writing. Please note, I’m not talking about the characters or the world-building or any of that - other people with more experience and passion for the show have written about the problems those topics have - I am talking purely from a ‘how well is this story written’ perspective.
The original Avatar has its weak points - episodes, characterization choices, bits and pieces here and there - but overall it’s a show that holds up to the rewatch. The story is engaging, interesting, and decently complicated while still being loose enough that missing the odd episode here and there won’t ruin the experience for you. The characters, world, tension, and stakes grow at a good rate over each season, and it’s a pretty solid piece of storytelling.
Legend of Korra, however... I wanted to like this show. I really, really wanted to be drawn back into this world I love so much. I just... never was. Legend of Korra introduced some potentially fascinating concepts - the anti-bender movement, the spirit world and the human world rejoining, the sudden return of airbending to the world... but most of it only felt interesting in retrospect. I couldn’t watch past the first episode of the final season, just because I was so bored and frustrated by that point, and the only characters that truly sparked my curiosity, oddly enough, were the Red Lotus Society. Not even as villains, but because they all genuinely sparked interest in me, how they came together, how they ended up as they are. If their characterizations, attributes, and stories had been used for the main characters, I would have loved that, that would have been absolutely fascinating.
I don’t blame the characters in Korra, I don’t think Korra herself, her Team Avatar, or any of their allies are ‘bad’ - I get what the people who like them enjoy about these characters - I just think the people writing them let them down. I think the people creating the universe and story they inhabited let them down. And, frankly, I was not keen to see the people who decided that this was the appropriate way to follow up Last Airbender would do if allowed to remake Last Airbender.
Bryke are leaving the Last Avatar live action remake? That’s fine, that’s their choice. I’ve been in fandom long enough to know that we don’t need them to tell a good Last Airbender story. They started the ball, but that does not mean they’re necessary to keep it rolling.
I have decided the only crossover that matters to me any more is one with Avatar the Last Airbender and Star Wars: Clone Wars so that Uncle Iroh and Plo Koon can be friends, they would be good friends, they’d teach each other pai sho and dejarik and trade stories and tips about raising their adoptive sons and it would be Good.
dragonfishdreams reblogged
Okay, but what if not all mutations (a la X-Men) are actually helpful? The powers supposedly come from an evolutionary mutation, after all, and some of those hit dead ends - not everyone ends up ‘the fittest.’
And what if this is actually the explanation for Peter Parker’s extraordinarily bad luck? He actually is a mutant, but he has a terrible power that only causes him pain and grief, and the only reason he’s still alive is because he got those spider powers. And no one’s figured it out because they’re distracted by the spider powers and don’t notice that the luck is literally unnaturally bad.
I was talking to my sister about this, and she put forth the suggestion of Peter getting a mutant power suppressant collar put on him and I just… that would be amazing? Like, no one knows where Peter’s powers came from for the most part, we’re got all these mutants running around, it wouldn’t be a stretch for some anti-mutant jerk to just assume that he’s a mutant, catch Peter, and toss him in with all the other mutants they’ve captured for whatever purpose.
Cue Peter announcing to the rest of the captives “Don’t worry, guys, I’m not actually a mutant - my powers still work just fine!” and breaking everyone out. Except, as they get farther and farther into the escape, Peter starts getting more and more concerned because. Nothing is going wrong? At all? This has been shockingly easy? Everything’s going according to plan? What? By the time they’re out the door, Peter’s started actively trying to distance himself from the rest of the group and be annoying and unlikeable, because this is too long without something going wrong, someone’s going to die if this keeps up.
But no one dies. They get back to the X-mansion with minor fuss, Professor X runs some tests because Peter’s freaking out and it turns out, oh, you actually were a mutant, your power is just the worst power ever.
Peter: “Soooo… what I’m getting out of this is, if I keep wearing this collar, I won’t have such constant crappy luck?”
Professor X: “Well ideally it would be best if you learned more about your power now that you’re aware of it and-”
Peter: “Sorry, just remembered that you wouldn’t let me join your super-team so I don’t have to listen to you byeeeeeee~!!!”
And he makes it home in time for supper and life just gets better. Though Peter keeps getting surprised by stuff. Ex:
Peter: Wow, I haven’t stepped in gum in, like, a week. Weird.
MJ: That’s… actually pretty normal for most people?
Peter: What, seriously? Wild.
(snorts) A+ additional content, can’t stop picturing Peter somehow acquiring more of those suppressant collars, so he can learn how they work and build either build himself a new one if the first one he gets breaks or stream-line the design to make it more comfortable and less obvious to wear, because he is high-key Not Going Back To That.
It would also be interesting to see peoples’ reactions to that sort of thing, especially if this is in one of those universes where normal people know at least vaguely about the suppressant collars, not so much from a superheroing standpoint (he can always wear the thing under his costume and just say “yeah, trying a new look”) but from people in school.
‘cause I can see that covering a wide spectrum of reactions, from the people who have no idea what it is and think it’s just some new ‘look’ to the people who do know and approve (because that’s the ‘responsible’ thing for a mutant to do) to the people who think it is high-key disgusting that he’s wearing that thing for various reasons (either under the impression that he’s being played by the system or forced to wear it (I’m not saying MJ is ready to cut someone when she first sees it, but hoo boy, I’m not saying she isn’t, either)). If even a small fraction of the school knows about those collars, wearing it in public means he’s basically come out as being a mutant, and that news will travel fast, it’s high school.
The thing is, though? It’s also happening in a situation where Peter’s supernatually bad luck isn’t in play, and it’d be really interesting to see this play out in a situation where the worst-case-scenario isn’t automatically the most likely.
Also it’s canon that mutant suppression collars cause terrible headaches, so Peter could potentially solve that problem
Oooh, yeah! And if he can’t do it on his own, it’s also canon that he knows a magical surgeon who could potentially help him figure it out!
Peter: EYYYY, DOCTOR STRANGE! My favorite doctor-type person! Help me figure out how to make these stop causing migranes so I never have to take it off again, pretty please? I’m not quite sure which bit of me head it’s causing to hurt.
Dr. Strange: (is so shocked that someone’s asking after his medical knowledge as opposed to his magical knowledge that he’s halfway through a consultation before he realizes what he’s doing)
There’s also still potential angst there because anyone can have a run of terrible luck, so he has to second-guess himself and whether the collar is malfunctioning or his power is altering to work past it on a week where, say, a car door opens and lays him out, he’s allergic to someone he’s on a team with, his favorite supplier of the chemicals he makes webfluid goes out of business, and he and Aunt May get into a passive-aggressive argument.
That’s actually a really good point, and would be just as interesting to see him getting used to as having regular good luck! I think the best end result for that would be going to Tony, switching to a collar Tony’s just checked over and knows is functional, and then have Tony go over the one he was wearing for malfunctions. Not only does Tony know how these things are supposed to work, he knows about having bad luck streaks or second-guessing yourself after something really bad happens, so it’s even a subject Tony’s qualified to talk about!
But yeah, Peter learning to deal with normal bad luck would be a really interesting addition to this situation, especially since he has good reason to be much more scared of it than most people due to his situation.
@dragonfishdreams I finally got around to writing this! It’s here on Ao3, and the other two chapters will be there as well. Now that I’ve started, those shouldn’t take long.
-
Peter didn’t know what was going on. Granted, that applied to the entirety of his life post-bite, but this took the cake. There was a rough, slightly jagged surface against his back that he recognized as cinder blocks. A glance told him that he was still in-suit, but there was an unfamiliar weight around his neck that his head was way too fuzzy to place. His hands flew up to his face and tugged at his mask, just to reassure himself that it was still there. They trailed down to his neck and grabbed the foreign object.
It went all the way around his neck with a chain leading out in the back. A quick jerk of his head confirmed that it kept him shackled to the wall. It took his sluggish brain a minute to connect the dots and realize that someone had put a collar on him. Another minute later, and he realized that they had also managed to drug him with something strong enough to knock him out. And he was out for a while, considering they had the time to drag him here and chain him up.
8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D
OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE SO LUCKY I’M A VERTERAN FANFIC READER BECAUSE OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE SCREAMED AND WOKEN UP THE ENTIRE HOUSE WHEN I SAW YOU’D WRITTEN THIS, OH MY GOSH, THIS IS GREAT, I JUST <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 THANK-YOU SO MUCH!!!!!