@lilnasx CALL ME BY YOUR NAMEEEEE 👹☎️❣️
Will u join the challenge?
is there a reason for this? like is this part of a strike or something im not aware of?
i cannot believe im this fucking stupid
Ralph, pick a number between 1 and 10
four of course because it’s my lucky number
Good cause that’s your IQ
happy anniversary to the post that ruined my life
[ ace attorney ] pre-trial ritual 👛✨
These people went from lifting chips to pulling off some action movie shit
This is the most Chaotic Neutral thing I’ve ever seen.
“I was going to go lick a patient”
40′s slapstick act where a clown creampies someone
Considering who I’ve dated in the past, I’ve been creampied by plenty of clowns already
「希望」と「光」
sometimes I tweet about the funny/cute/utterly bizarre shit my 3rd graders do and say
the latest dispatches from room 156
happy monday folks
you will never be stable... that is for horses
This is the most jaw dropping AITAs I’ve seen what the hell
Bring the child unto me
bonus
story time.
the look in your eyes is what gets me.
“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”
DEAD
“Story time.
I have this one white friend.
And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,
“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.” And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”
And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”
And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”
And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”
And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.
So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”
And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”
[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.
And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”
And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”
And I’m like “Yes.”
And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”
I’m like, “No.”
And she’s like “What’s the difference?”
And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”
And she’s like “I don’t understand.”
And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”
I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.
I’m actually crying