confesing your eating habits and immediately regretting it

i can’t wait until october when there’s no sun outside and everything is cute colors and it’s cold and there are terrible horror movies on tv, my power is at its peak then

me (cleaning up): holds knife

intrusive thoughts: what if-

me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my wrists right now can we please just focus

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmaOcu7FPkj/?

Tonight at the gym a man who looked like fuckin Thor asked me out and when I told him I was a lesbian he goes “oh. Chill. You know, my sister and I work out a lot together. She’ll be here tomorrow, same time.”

Like…did Thor just wingman me?

God of lesbians

straight vampires are so unrealistic

imagine being heterosexual for all eternity.. pass

imagine like. getting married and then moving into your home together. going to bed bath and beyond. getting a nice toaster. ah, love. one day…..

ᴅᴀʀᴋᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ 💧

concept: one of those “live, laugh, love” wall hangings, except it’s john mulaney’s “Eat ass, suck a dick, sell drugs.”