daily update: girls are hot and I’m gay

There’s a mass murder-suicide in the notes

there’s an ariana stan on twitter who got her phone taken off her and is accessing it thru any device she can find lmaoooo

you cannot make this shit up

free our girl dorothy

Me: what could be so bad that it warrants the use of that image?

The end: *happens *

Me:

im begging you watch the whole thing

Schrödinger’s vaguepost

this is the twitter equivalent of the sound of a gun cocking in an unlit parking garage

Doodles of wing on wo co’s lil planters

Listen to me

You are allowed to eat.

You are allowed to drink.

You are allowed to rest.

You are allowed to take a break.

You are allowed to treat yourself.

You are allowed to say no.

You are allowed to put yourself first

we should kill everyone on the forbes billionaire list though

One of the best scenes of Malcolm in the Middle ever.

that fucking kid took one for the team

More little cows.

i don’t ever comment on ppl’s posts bc it feels rude but these are hands down the best things i have ever seen in my entire two plus decades of living. thank you op

Language barrier

I’m sorry but out of context this is really fucking funny

I’m going to assume that he went to hell, met Satan and realized the guy was just a fucking loser

That’s literally what happened though, when he was in the coma he had a near death experience where he went to hell and found out Satan looked like a Jabba The Hutt-esque monster who vomited blood all over him for being too lazy (I am not making this up) and then he woke up and he was like “you know, satanic metal is still a banger but that guy sucks”. 

Never meet your heroes.