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Our Flag Means Us

@breathing-the-same-air / breathing-the-same-air.tumblr.com

Maria | she/her | I owe OFMD my life | Firm believer that love can change the world. Always be a little kinder than necessary!
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It's such a cruel thing to be afraid of yourself.

Even though Ed is realistically one of the least violent characters in a show about violent pirates, and we're beaten over the head with that over and over again, he's horrified by his capacity for violence at the same time as he often feels he's defined by it. He's getting so much better by the end of season 2, but he's internalized a view of himself as a hyper-violent monster to the point where that's just not going to be going away overnight.

I imagine Ed measuring their strides as he and Stede walk down to the market, trying to reassure himself that Stede could outrun him if he needed to. He tells Stede that he's hiding their old stock of weapons under the bed just in case of an emergency and puts them all under Stede's side so Stede would reach them first. Having those bad moods that all people have and worrying that he should hide himself away or try to restrain himself somehow, because obviously he'd never ever want to hurt Stede, but he's been told over and over again that he's insane and erratic, so he can't trust how he feels. Keeps his meals light because it'll be safer for everyone if he's weak.

And I imagine all those fears and that self-hatred slowly getting chipped away. Stede asks him to give him a tattoo, when Ed waffles about how it might hurt a bit Stede laughs and says "you'd never hurt me." Bringing home a tiny scrap of a kitten he found shivering out in the rain, looking at that tiny thing in his hands and realizing it's not afraid of him and it has no reason to be. Having a stupid domestic spat and realizing that neither of them even really raised their voices at each other, just got a bit bitchy for twenty minutes and then apologized.

Just...getting to see that he's a gentle man and not a monster.

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Ed: you know when I said I wanted -

Stede: this is what you asked for

Ed: when I said I wanted you to dom me we both know good and damn well I was not talking about this

Stede: don't worry kitten. Finish your vegetables

Ed:

Ed: okay.

Stede: you skipped lunch today.

Ed: I was busy -

Stede: I know, love, but if we're about to do anything intense in the bedroom then I need to be able to trust that you're feeling your best and you're going to be in a good state of mind. Hey, don't skip straight to the brownies -

Ed: but I liiike the brooooownies

Stede: finish your asparagus first, kitten

Ed: fine.

Ed: you really, uh. you really think about that stuff? making sure I'm feeling good and shit? Not just -

Stede: no, it's not just a sex thing. You're not just a sex thing, Ed.

[narrator's voice-over: they did not in fact make it to Stede actually domming Ed in the bedroom that night because they both cried themselves out and had to go cuddle with a stupid rom-com to recover]

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Listen. It won’t happen. But given how much the fandoms overlap it would be hysterical if Good Omens dressed Crowley in Ed’s depression robe from OFMD. It’s gotta still exist somewhere right. Just ask the costume department and they’ll give it to you. Let the OFMD gays get this one last thing

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Okay but the part of the bts scenes from yesterday that's actually sticking with me the hardest is Stede saying "I'm sure we're not the only ones who want to live forever."

Like...fuck if that's not a gut punch. Stede started out the show with such a low sense of satisfaction and expectation with his own life that when he's asked if he wants to live he goes "I dunno probably?" Ed went from being passively suicidal in s1 to the entire first three episodes of s2 revolving around how he is so convinced he's unlovable that he sees no option for him other than death. These are not two people who started the show valuing their own lives.

And now they want to live forever. That's the power of queer love, queer joy, queer community, finding people who truly care for them, finding new meaning in their lives, getting to learn that life is really worth living. And that's fucking beautiful.

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