Artsy

I can’t believe I’m seeing so many people in twitter excited over Disney+, why cant you promote piracy like us normal people

this is how its feels with each note this post gains

Every day you’ve dealt with your terrible stepmother and your equally terrible and ugly stepsisters as you’ve done your chores. One day, an invitation to the prince’s ball comes to your late father’s estate. After your late mother’s dress is destroyed, you find an elderly woman in front of you. She waves her wand through the air and suddenly a blue ball gown with glass slippers appear on the bench next to you. She claims you can go to the ball for only a small price. You have to kill the prince.

“No.” I fold my arms, meeting her eyes. 

She blinks at me. “No?”

“Not for a silk dress and a night at a party. Only a fool would commit regicide for so low a price.” 

The old woman hesitates, and her eyes narrow. “Well. True. Though it would only be regicide if I asked you to kill the king.”

“His heir is close enough, to my mind.” 

The old woman rubs her chin thoughtfully. “Aye, that’s fair. But… if the price were better?” 

I shrug. “I’ve contemplated murdering my stepmother and her daughters often enough. The only reason I don’t do it is that I’d surely be the first and only suspect. If a murder would truly free me from this misery… I’d certainly be willing to consider it. After careful planning, of course.” 

“Indeed. Indeed.” She smiles grimly. “All right, my dear. Shall we plan a murder, then?” 

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god i hate being alive i just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances 

ok im done being dramatic i finally started my homework and its not that bad

This is for all y’all who don’t understand how terrifying these suckers are. 

OHMYGOD IT’S ATTACKING THE STATUE OF LIBERTY SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING

I know just the man for the job.

This is a good joke. This is such a solid, quality joke.

@explainingthejoke ?

The initial image is a size comparison between the statue of liberty and a wind turbine. The wind turbine is over ninety feet (about 28 meters) taller.

A commenter pretended to misinterpret the image as one of a wind turbine attacking the statue of liberty. The next commenter answered with an image of Don Quixote, a literary character who once thought a windmill was a monster and announced his plans to fight it. They are joking that if a wind turbine attacked the statue of liberty, Don Quixote would be willing to fight the wind turbine.

Incidentally, that scene led to the English idiom “tilting at windmills,” meaning a person who has not only disproportionate reactions of anger, but disproportionate reactions of anger to nonexistent challenges.

So all those people who are fighting to preserve coal jobs and the fossil fuel economy are….

actually…

tilting at windmills.

I feel like this is one of the very few times where explaining the joke leads to another one that everyone can now understand and laugh at

name a scam bigger than women’s jeans

ok fair… name a scam bigger than women’s clothing in general

you win i resign

i think it's crazy how men are feeling represented by joker

letterboxd user andrea put it in better words than me. smh

before you say anything, think to yourself “is this something that would have gotten me diagnosed with hysteria and institutionalized in the 19th century?” and if the answer is yes, carry on

the opposite of being unknowable is making art

if we want the rewards of validation for our hard work from external sources we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of allowing others to consume and judge our content

Oh well... I had pretty much abandoned this, heh? Time for a comeback with inktober

The prompt is from @thekeymonster on Instagram! Botanic Animals. This one is kitten + daisy