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Is it better to Speak or to Die?

@callmebyourname-illcallyoub-blog

People who read are hiders. They hide who they are. People who hide don't always like who they are.
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Elio, always so polite...

Oliver: (That doesn’t even make any sense, but whatever)

Oliver: (That doesn’t really make any sense, I mean I get what you mean, you mean ‘yes, please (do kiss me)’, which is great.  I appreciate your enthusiasm)

And that one time he wasn’t:

Mafalda: (Sorry to disturb you in your pining.  I brought some clean clothes, because I am your servant. And you don’t seem to have any, because here you are wandering around the house topless again)

Elio: … (whatever, I don’t even care.  Just go away so I can go put Oliver’s swimming trunks on my head)

Elio: Leave the door open

Elio, as an afterthought:  Thanks

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robertdeniro

“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste!” Michael Stuhlbarg as Mr. Perlman in Call Me By Your Name (2017)

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roseinstem

On the last lines of “Call Me By Your Name”

“I’m like you,’ he said. ‘I remember everything.’ I stopped for a second. If you remember everything, I wanted to say, and if you are really like me, then before you leave tomorrow, or when you’re just ready to shut the door of the taxi and have already said goodbye to everyone else and there’s not a thing left to say in this life, then, just this once, turn to me, even in jest, or as an afterthought, which would have meant everything to me when we were together, and, as you did back then, look me in the face, hold my gaze, and call me by your name

These final lines broke my heart, especially when Armie read them in the audio book. This “look me in the face, hold my gaze, and call me by your name” is essentially Elio’s dying wish. Even after all these years he wants Oliver in his life. He can’t imagine a world where he isn’t a part of Oliver and where Oliver isn’t a part of him. He’s desperate here. Elio is still desperately in love with Oliver, and for me these last lines truly solidified the fact that what these two men had together was love, rather than a steamy Italian summer. While I knew this to be true early on in the book it was these lines that truly solidified it. The raw emotion and the desperation broke me. I’ve never experienced romantic love, but I’ve felt desperation and longing and I know that that’s what Elio’s feeling here. 

As much as these lines broke me, they also made me hopeful. These lines made me feel hope because even after all these years Elio still loves Oliver, and I think Oliver still loves him. I believe that Oliver still loves Elio because you don’t go back to visit the family whose son you fucked unless you still feel something, anything for him, no matter how nice the family is. Oliver still loves Elio, and Elio still loves Oliver. To me this is an indisputable fact. This seemingly eternal love gave me hope. 

These lines also gave me hope because of their delivery both in written form and in the audiobook. These are the final lines of the book. The book ends on a desperate plea from a desperate man. The raw emotion in that makes me feel hopeful not just for the love and relationship between Elio and Oliver, but also in life. If Elio can afford to bear his heart and soul, and make this gut wrenching plea in what’s essentially a diary, a place where he shared his most secret thoughts, then I too can show the same emotional intensity of life. If Elio can lay it all on the line and leave himself open to rejection and heartbreak then so can I, and the liberation that comes with these realizations is why these lines give me hope. 

Call Me By Your Name (Chiamami Col Tuo Nome) was truly a piece of art, and I am beyond thankful that I got to experience it when I did. I could very easily talk about this book forever. The excerpt above is one of many examples of how this book and movie broke me and inspired me, and at the end of the day I truly think that I’m a better person for having read this book. 

if you have any scenes from the movie/book that you want me to analyze or give my opinion on or that you want to ask me about, just send me an ask and I’d be delighted to answer!

analysis kinda inspired by @terxture who is much better at this than I am. I just thought I’d give it a shot.

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