‘ shut up, we’re lusting over dead people ! ’
‘ why do you ruin every good thing? every good thing is ruined because of you ! ’
‘ eww, what the fuck is that ? why do i look like that ? ’
‘ walmart isn’t worthy of seeing my boobs. ’
‘ siri, how do i get baked beans out of my phone ? ’
‘ alright, i’m gonna fuck santa claus. ’
‘ better out than in, i always say. ’
‘ y’all, my asshole hurts. ’
‘ i didn’t even get to finish saying ‘hi’ before she sprinted away. ’
‘ dude, yeehaw ! ’
‘ all you do with your life is laugh at twitter memes. ’
‘ i don’t just wanna be handcuffed, gagged, whipped, and put in weird, metal contraptions. i want fucking needles in my boobs ! ’
‘ if i’m not in a wheelchair the next day, i haven’t been fucked hard enough. ’
‘ hearing you laugh makes me want to die. ’
‘ it’s a robot. robots can be modified. you can give them mouths, or a massive dong. whatever floats your boat, y’know ? ’
‘ well, one of us has to get somewhere in life. and it’s not gonna be me. ’
‘ do you think fucking jesus is considered a sin ? ’
‘ *crying* NOW I’LL NEVER BE PART OF DONNA AND THE DYNAMOS ! ’
‘ you’re an absolute disappointment. ’
‘ i’m just in the mood to eat taco bell in bed and then go the fuck to sleep. ’
‘ i’ve just been holed up in my room all day, too scared to leave, because nothing feels real past my doorway. ’
‘ i’ve come so close to dying so many times today. ’
‘ hey, can we get (name)’s vocal cords cut ? ’
‘ i absorb other people’s feelings. it doesn’t mean i give a shit about those feelings. ’
‘ ow, my gall bladder ! ’
‘ i gave him a soggy, saggy fry. because fuck him. ’
‘ imagine if we could just have permanent glitter tits. my life would be so much better. ’
‘ you really do ruin everything. ’
‘ dude, end yourself. ’
‘ sometimes i just want him to wreck my ass. ’
‘ sorry, that was a lot, but it was the overwhelming emotion right now. ’
