i love products that make up words that sound like they could've come from tumblr

she sprunch on my kranch till I scrunge

you ever accidentally create a recurring theme in your writing. you start putting together an outline for something you’ve never written before and get partway through planning, rearrange the pieces, and go “GODDAMMIT THIS IS ABOUT GRIEF AGAIN”? because let me tell you,

about to make aftg grid alignments my entire personality

best trope is the one where the character’s godlike power is also killing them btw. they don’t even lift a hand to kill the monster but now they’re delirious with fever. they save a friend’s life and said friend immediately finds them emergency medical care. they raze the enemy to nothing and it takes far too long to find their pulse with all the bruising. their friends just constantly having to patch them up and worrying over which feat will be their last. et cetera

Porn bots on here are trying out new pick up lines, I see

This has to be adaptive learning. A line like this wouldn't work on any other goddamn site or its userbase aside from this godsforsaken one and it knows that

more people need to talk about xie lian being a freak weirdo. he apparently owned hundreds of swords and used all of them at some point. he was like “lol abstinence is so easy idk why everybody else doesn’t use this cultivation method” at the ripe old age of SEVENTEEN. he’ll claim he has erectile dysfunction UNPROMPTED at all advances to him instead of using literally any other excuse. he’s crazy obsessed with fighting and martial arts. he killed a dude because the guy said his martial arts sucked. he tried to give cpr to a dead guy. my gilf <3

character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!

the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!

I love seeing dogs and wolves in movies because they’re acting so vicious but also their tails are wagging so hard unless the post-processing guys specifically edited out the tails (which is slightly less obvious but also hilarious in a different way once you spot it).

This is why I love the dog in the original casting of The Thing so damn much. I have never seen an acting dog move with such a deliberate, calm intent. It was like every single motion and gesture this animal made was intentional.

Apparently, according to the behind-the-scenes documentation, this dog was just fuckin like that. Almost never, if at all, looked at the camera crews and production teams. Never excitedly wagged his tail on set no matter how much of a good boy he was being. If he did, it was the same… deliberate motions.

His name was Jed, and even though he’s a dog, he deserves an oscar. He was an exceptionally good boy.

Jed also played the role of White Fang in the 90s Disney film version!

I honestly can’t imagine a better portrayal of a stoic, aloof White Fang, who gradually softens, than Jed.  Good boy.

This dog is a fucking PROFESSIONAL, thank you.

It’s been 5 years since I got this card from a hibachi chef

"We need more unapologetically weird folks!" you guys can't even handle furries

the french beatles

jean, paul, george, et ringeaux

the suicidal ideation man who lives in my brain and i kind of have a weird sex thing going on im ngl

Neil Josten

woop there it is

me: two redbull and an adderall for breakfast is the most important meal of the day

my guardian angel (currently taking the form of gerard "my chemical romance" way to try and get me to listen to him): do we think maybe a vegetable would make you feel less 'Not Okay'?

My family has started calling my cat "the beast" which is very funny considering she's a 19yo arthritic old lady who needs help up and down the stairs. Not to mention she doesn't really meow any more, just sits and stares at you, and im the only one who can reliably guess what she wants, so my parents are constantly messaging me "The beast awakens... I know not what she desires 😥😥" i feel like the chosen prophet of an eldritch god

Nay, verily... I have noted the position of the stars, and determined rather that The Beast Hungers... for her nightly plate of wet food

@calamitytrios @shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey The people have spoken

Behold, The Beast

DAUNTLESS DECLAN