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Bats what I’m talking about

@rainbow-squirrels-7 / rainbow-squirrels-7.tumblr.com

Hail and well met! | Bee | INFP | she/they | 26 | ace/lesbian | comic artist | an actual birb | resident mythology expert | star war, DND, pokemon | also, BATS | commissions OPEN
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In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

We will be feeding our grandchildren strawberries and raspberries we grew in our gardens, dragging them along to the farmers' markets for tomatoes and eggs and goats milk and pickles and pecans and salsa and sunflower seed butter and jars of honey, as they complain and drag their feet because Gramma always stands around talking to people for like an HOUR

and we will say "When I was YOUR age, fruits and vegetables came from a supermarket and they were bred to get shipped 1000 miles in a truck and sit on shelves for weeks, and they tasted so sour and watery it was like eating paper compared to these ones. It wasn't even legal in some places to grow your own food"

and they will roll their eyes like yeah yeah just because everything was miserable in the 20s doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face standing in the hot sun while you listen to that one guy talk about his bees FOREVER

But they will go, because there might be baby goats.

Since I made this post, dozens and dozens of people have left tags telling me that it was the first thing today that made them want to continue living, that it was the first thing that made them consider that they might be okay years in the future, that they might grow old, that it was the first and only post of its kind they'd ever seen—the first post that boldly predicts a future where we make it.

And many other people have been just spitting, foaming at the mouth fucking FURIOUS. How dare I have the audacity to imagine a future where things get better?

Don't I know how BAD things are? Am I not aware of the TERROR and DEVASTATION of climate change and fascism and biodiversity loss? How dare someone be so bold, so callous, as to imagine something other than misery and suicide. How dare someone suggest it will get better. How dare a person propose that there is a future where we will be okay, in the face of so much terror. Hasn't she seen the abyss opening its jaws before us?

Well? What do you think?

Do you think I've seen the abyss?

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Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

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the-l-spacer

Specifically D&D™️ things about that new movie that I enjoyed very much

  • The entire party having low intelligence/wisdom bc let’s be real who doesn’t have either one of those as their dump stat
  • Receiving a magic item from the DM -> forgetting about it -> a party member going WAIT DONT WE HAVE THAT -> everyone using the shit out of the magic item and completely wrecking the DM’s plans
  • Travelling between locations that are geographically days/weeks away takes <5 minutes because the DM doesn’t want to do random encounters + the party doesn’t have a ranger who needs to feel useful by tracking
  • No healer + no rogue/ranger = everyone is constantly exhausted and has no idea of the traps/monsters in their surroundings ever
  • Druid being the most OP member of the party
  • The DM’s friend/sibling coming over to play their high level paladin from another campaign for an afternoon and then just noping out
  • The DM planning an elaborate battle arena with multiple well thought out stages and the players immediately find a way to circumvent it
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nerdomancer

My favorite part of Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is that if you don't play DnD, it's a solid fantasy movie, but if you DO play DnD, you can feel in your soul the table talk that's almost certainly happening over the events of the movie. Like...

"Are you guys sure you don't want to take a perception check?"

"I said we jump out the window."

or

"And he turns and walks directly northwards away from you guys."

"The map shows a rock-"

"HE WALKS OVER THE ROCK."

or

"Fuck it, I throw a potato."

"Okay... roll for potato, I guess."

"That was a 20."

or

"I know we won, but I have bonus actions and I'm going to use them, damn it."

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