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"i lost him."

@helosther-blog1 / helosther-blog1.tumblr.com

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moved!

i have officially moved to @firstloss. the blog is still under construction, but please follow me over there! 

i will be dropping most threads except those with @makethiseasy, @wearesurvivxrs, @cbipsychic@that-kid-from-vault-101, and those who have made me starters within the last week or two. if you have a thread that you would specifically like to continue onto my other blog, PLEASE CONTACT ME. i will be happy to continue! 

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outofluck;

I’d miss the follower count since I’m sooooooo close to such a big milestone, but I’m really tempted to archive this blog and start with a clean slate, maybe even with a new url. This blog is just so messy.

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       THE STRENGTH ITS TAKING TO APPEAR STRONG is more than he’s capable of, practically suffocating. Sarah needs him to be her rock when he finally tells her whats going on with her uncle and he knows that Sarah loves Tommy very dearly. The possibility of losing his brother though is hitting him harder than he ever thought it would, but he can’t let that vulnerability show at this moment. Before speaking again, Joel takes in a deep shaky breathe before looking at her once more. His eyes show that he’s been crying as the doctors haven’t given him much hope. There IS hope just not a lot. 
      “Its BAD, sweetheart. He got into an accident at work this afternoon with some machinery.” A lump forms in his throat as he reaches up to wipe his frustrated features. After clearing his throat he continues, “He’s in surgery now and the doctors are gonna do eveythin they can for him, but…. they also so we need t’ prepare ourselves in case…” 
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          Sarah is quiet for a few heart twisting beats. She can feel the urge to cry trembling through her body, but she holds it back. “...I want to go to the hospital,” she says, quiet. “I think we should be there.”

          She knows it wouldn’t matter whether they’re there or not, not unless Tommy survived the operation, but she can’t shake the strong sense that he needed them.     

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outofluck;

Hey guys! I should be able to return soon in just a little over a week! I know my blog (mostly my tags & tag tracker) is a complete mess and I’m sorry for having to leave it that way, but I’m working on it!

Soon I’ll be out of school and have plenty of time to write. Thank you all for being so patient with me!

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His eyes moved to rest on the gun as hers did, and for a moment they shared a mutual sort of awareness. Sarah wasn’t wrong; she had stopped being a kid long before he met her, but her giant blue eyes and sweet face made it easy to forget that. Or maybe it was just a convenient way for him to justify keeping such close tabs on her, the only family he’d known in…too long. The fear that gripped him by the throat whenever she disappeared on him, even for brief snatches of time, was almost suffocating. Too many times he’d envisioned finding her remains out there in the woods, nothing more than bloody scraps and blonde hair coiled on the ground. Other times he imagined worse – finding her infected, already mutating from the cordyceps and clicking those awful sounds.
Screwing his eyes shut a moment, he sighed again and sat down in the rickety chair across the table. “Yeah. You can,” he agreed. “I just…do me a favour and tell me next time you need space, okay? I’ll understand.” 
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He attempted a thin smile. “I might even be less of a dick about it.”
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          “You’re always a dick,” she came back, trying hard not to smile. She failed, of course. As much as Sawyer’s over-protectiveness got on her nerves, she loved him. She used to tell him that he was like the big brother she never wanted, but got anyway. It wasn’t too far from the truth.

          Sarah scrubbed at her face and sighed, sitting back on the table. “One’a these days, we need to go on a long vacation. The Bahamas or somethin’...”

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she  didn’t  seem  entirely  CONVINCED  ,  but  patrick  shuffled  it  from  his  shoulders  easily  .  it  was  a  common  thing  to  happen  .  people  wanted  to  know  how  the  tricks  worked  .  he  supposed  it  was  only  natural  CURIOSITY  . at  her  question  ,  he  shuffled  the  deck  of  cards  &&  tucked  them  away  safely  .  then  shook  his  head  .  he  hadn’t  been  on  stage  in  a  long  time  .  not  since  …
‘  no  .  ‘ he  said  .  ‘  i  don’t  do  shows  .  i  help  some  people  but  away  very  bad  people  .  i  just  use  tricks  &&  magic  to  help  along  .  i  USED to  do  shows  .  made  a  bit  of  money  doing  them  too  .  ‘  he  shook  his  head  .  ‘  not  anymore  .  ‘
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          Sarah’s smile wavered. “...What d’you mean you put away bad people?” 

          Headlights flickered through the windows and she flinched, slipping from the chair and crouching behind it quick as a startled mouse. It felt silly, particularly when Patrick wasn’t hiding too, but she didn’t care. Big eyes peeked out at him from over the arm then to the windows as the vehicle idled outside. Then the doorbell rang. 

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