Moon and Dragons

would you like a nice glass of

i’m not into “who’s the most powerful jedi” “who’s the best duelist” stuff but if i was, mace windu would be my man. who the fuck defeats palpatine. in a 1v1 . every other time someone has to fight palpatine in this saga they’re like “noooo i’ll turn to dark side there must be another way 😔😔” mace just does it. he beat the shit out of that old man what the fuck

can you imagine how pissed luke would be if he learned that yoda used to do thousands of space samurai super backflips and chose to teach him how to fight in a boring way instead

wow luke your moves suck who taught you them.the goblin?

vader thought luke knew he was going easy on him because they were waving their swords around carefully instead of doing insane flips across chasms and moving vehicles. they thought they were on the same page. huge surprise when he refused to join him because it all seemed really friendly

vader in his final moments sinking into despair as he realises his son actually kind of just sucks at swords and it's all the little frog guy's fault

Yoda purposefully trained him wrong to get back at anakin. "Your family sucks and made sure of it I did. Killed all my friends, you should not have."

Kung Pow (2002)

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.

Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.

Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.

Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now

He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.

With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?

See, I think that still works.

You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!

You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.

So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.

You should probably ask for a raise.

But honestly, the Empire would've had such a problem if the running time of the inhibitor chip had been limited. I mean, there was an entire clone army within the Empire lmao who thought this was a good idea, just imagine:

All I'm saying is that the moment the clones had regained their free will the Empire would've survived for approximately 0.2 seconds before being greatly fucked. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Fanfic reader's prayer: may my favorite author's hyperfixation on this fandom last longer than mine 🙏

Fanfic writer's prayer: may my hyperfixation last long enough for me to write all the fics in my head.

Dungeon Meshi fancast dropped

This website is too mobile focused these days. Reblog and tell me what your desktop/laptop background is.

Girl help people in the notes are calling me rich and privileged for owning a computer.

this is for those who despair over seeing ships or tropes that make them uncomfortable while they do their little scrolly-scroll on ao3, acting like they aren’t responsible for their own internet experience

(alternatively, the back button also works)

no one recognizes my vision of putting clippy into the star wars universe

how are we supposed to recognize your vision if you leave it in the tags??

Thank you @shortcuts-make-long-delays

To further my agenda, more splippy content:

No I need you guys to know that no one was recognizing Alcha's vision because we all opened discord to her having rebranded herself to clippy apropos nothing.

Imagine you walk in on this. What do you do.

Anakin: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Cody: I do have a sense of humor you know

Anakin: I've never heard you laugh before

Cody: I've never heard you say anything funny

me in planning stages of writing: this fucks. this is gonna be so fun.

me the minute i sit down to write: language is an unwieldy cudgel we use to beat the human experience to death in an attempt at ever communicating fully with another being. i wish intelligent life had never evolved. i want to go back to the cell stage like in spore

Smol Scale

I have never seen this post before but tumblr already said I liked it. And I do like it

I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!

Two words: Raw eggs.

?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.

MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.

Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.

Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.

Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom

wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???

Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

obsessed with people who stan side characters it’s so funny like you’ll see them talk endlessly about count gobbledegook IV and then you go to wikipedia and find out they’ve been in five episodes total across a 300 episode series

💀💀💀💀💀

some lies of p art because i loved the game