watching my grandma dieā¦. my mom crying āi just killed my mother. i killed my own momā over and overā¦ touching her dead moms abdomen and saying āi grew hereāā¦. sure was something!!! sitting on the ground next to my grandmas body for hours. sure was something. and my moms dog died a week prior. can she catch a break : ) i have nobody i can say this to lol sry
itās 4am and nobody is awake and iām so so scared and it gets worse every hour
iām so alone and nobody has energy for me anymore and i donāt blame them iām just so alone. i want a hug so bad i want someone to make sure iām okay and look after me life has never been so hard. i miss my brother and i miss my dad and i miss any chance i had at being happt and normal
having to work so hard to stay alive when you donāt even want to be alive is agony. i donāt want to pay rent i donāt want to eat i donāt want any of this i donāt even want to be here. why do i have to fill out so many forms and go to so many appointments when i donāt even want to be here
i hope i just die in my sleep so itās not my fault and i can just finally have peace
i wish i was allowed to die i canāt take anymore but i canāt make my mom have two dead kids
when youāre in a crisis people are nice to you for 3 days max and then they want you GONE itās funny. i donāt blame them like obviously iām a miserable killjoy but lol
i hate my fucking life itās actual literal agony no exaggeration iām so fucking miserable š¤©š¤©š¤© and i canāt say this to anyone because iām losing friends for being a downer ! š¤© and thatās making my life even worse š¤© this is literally the only place i can say how i feel
i wonāt kill myself btw i have to live for my mom and my surviving brother so donāt worry about me
my two best friends abandoned me now. iām losing everything piece by piece just like i always worried i would. every day i unlock a deeper loneliness
itās crazy how there actually is a way to make all my problems go away. literally everything iāve ever worried about or struggled with it xould all be gone. there really is a way to solve it all at once and finally be done with it and be free from it. from anything and everything no matter how awful it is or how inescapable it feels. absolutely anything. i could make it stop
iām so fucking miserable Nd itās never going to change and nothing will ever fix it. all this suffering for what. itās such a fucking waste. i literallt become a worse pwrson each day and i canāt stomach watching it unfold anymore
adhd is actually so tragic and deadly and i constantly worry abt who it will claim next. like how are any of us surviving this itās so hard. people donāt even understand how hard it is. forever
getting what you want in life is actually the worst thing you could doā¦. like i fully understand celebrities killing themselves now. iām in my favorite country and i just want to die. like i have everything and itās not enough. itāll never be enough. iām sitting in a cafe in sweden thinking about how iām still me and iāll always be me and no amount of money or love or traveling is going to change that. itās never going to get better than this and iām absolutely miserable to my bones
iām tired of people messaging me telling me they feel so bad for my brothers wife. like yeah obviously shes the one who has it the worst but what about me? he was my big brother. people act like that means nothing but it means everything to me. when i lost my dad everyone pitied me and yeah that sucked but this is a million times worse. i was never supposed to live without my brother. he raised me he made me who i am. i feel angry and protective of him when people gloss over the weight of his loss in my life. maybe they never had a sibling like him so they just dont understand. ive literally never known life without him until now. he was always there and now hes gone and every single thing leads back to him