*Today Not Tomorrow*

pet play but it's you putting me down

“Americans believe in big portions! That’s so crazy.” Look at this European getting scammed into paying for 100 calories worth of food. Fool. Idiot. You wish you could have this 16 ounce Big Gulp and this serving of rice I will eat off for three days but you can’t. Cope and seethe.

I also love watching Italians get mad at Italian American food. You’re cranky because your hungry, aren’t you? Cranky because you don’t get that delicious olive oil and balsamic vinegar to dip your bread in before meals? Cranky because your pizza kinda sucks?

Beef? You aren’t eating, I just said that.

who has that one post that’s like “americans will lightly rib british people for their accents and brits will be like ‘your children will die in a school shooting’“

I might be a little biased but I’m honestly starting to believe that there’s no purer form of love than the defensive spite you see from biologists that have devoted their life to the study of a maligned or misunderstood species. For example:

The hyena biologist that arranged for Disney animators to come sketch captive  hyenas for The Lion King film (Laurence Frank) was so incensed when the animals were depicted as villains in the movie that he later included boycotting the film on a list of ways the average person could help hyena conservation.

Though it’s commonly known that Charles Darwin’s distaste for parasitic wasps played a role in his development of evolution theory (since he felt no loving God would create animals with such a disturbing life cycle), the biologists who study these wasps find it an unfair characterization. When they were tasked with coming up with a common name for the family of parasitic wasps (Ichneumonidae) that old Charles so disliked, they proposed the name “Darwin Wasps” to spite the famous naturalist who had insulted their beloved family of insects.

Parasitologist Tommy Leung was so frustrated with the way people write about parasites to evoke horror and gore that he started writing a Parasite of the Day blog, that specifically avoids inflammatory or unsettling language to describe them. He also illustrates different species in colorful anime art on Twitter in a series called Parasite Monster Girls—which he calls his “love letter to parasites.”

I guess I’m just saying that if you’re a biologist studying an unpopular species and you have a little bit of a chip on your shoulder about it you can always count on me to be in your corner if you want to get a little petty with the public!

my decision not to migrate to twitter when everyone said the porn ban was going to kill tumblr makes me now feel like one of those people that missed boarding the goddamn titanic

I’m a pacifist like institutionally but I’m absolutely certain that violence solves at least some problems on a much smaller level. I don’t believe in wars or nuclear weapons or military campaigns I do believe in the power of that guy who punched the nazi in the face so hard his entire media presence immediately crumbled to dust

I was trying to explain to my sister-in-law that I simply cannot turn on my car headlights if anyone is looking at me and she thought I was crazy.

Literally nothing more embarrassing than tying your shoes in public like oh look at me I'm a 5 year old because I couldn't tie my shoes tight enough to last a walk through the kroger

are y’all okay

no

next year they should add a category for the audience to vote on to elect someone to get punched in the face on stage

having trauma feels so cringe sometimes like ohhhh look at me look at me my mom was mean when I was little and it's going to continue to affect me and all my relationships for the rest of my life. I'm gonna be sick

Coelacanth plushie btw. if you even care

Applying for jobs is a hell designed specifically to torment autistic people. Here is a well-paying task which you know in your heart and soul if they just gave you a desk and left you alone and allowed you to do it you would sit there and be more focused and enthusiastic and excellent at it than anyone else in the building. However, before they allow you to perform the task, you must pass through 3-4 opaque social crucibles where you must wear uncomfortable clothes and make eye contact while everyone expects you to lie, but not too much (no one is ever clear exactly how much lying is expected, “over” honesty is however penalized). You are being judged almost entirely on how well you understand these very specific and unclear rules that no one has explained. None of this has anything to do with your ability to perform the desired task.

Also, you must do ridiculous, redundant things like post your resume, and then fill in a form with all the information on your resume, and then add a cover letter, where you talk a little more about the information in your resume and the job posting (but not too much and must pick the correct things to talk about), and then some require a letter of recommendation, where you get someone else to say good things about you. But, in order to get that letter of recommendation, you have to have an awkward conversation with another person wherein you ask them to write a letter saying nice things about you. I mean, who are you supposed to ask? How are you supposed to ask? There are all kinds of hidden rules around this, too, and no one ever really bothers to explain them.

every time it rains i think of that raymond carver poem. poetry is like prayer to me methinks. or an incantation

this one btw

Rainbow Oarfish !

Not to sound like a sap but I think we as a society would be so much better off if we stopped constantly assuming the worst of each other.

Like... I know we're all traumatised and reacting and hurting. But here's some important reminders:

-not everyone who disagrees with you is your enemy

-some things are nuanced actually

-restorative justice would be available to everyone. yes, even people you don't like

-human beings are bad at being objective. like... so bad.

-the work is difficult, and not just because of terfs/fascists/enemies. it will be hard. but that's okay.

-not every comment or post or issue or stance you disagree with is worth the fight or needs your input. sometimes you can just let things go.