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Sup I'm a tired dork

@future-polyglot / future-polyglot.tumblr.com

Chris | 19 | they/he/she | I'm just taking things one day at a time because I don't know what else to do | I love SU, wholesome memes, Soft animes (like YOI!!! and Princess Jellyfish), kpop (and various songs in other languages), and now Mitski
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Instructions on Food: Cook 20-24 minutes.

Me: Using my Superior Intellect, I have deduced that the Optimal Cooking Time is precisely… 22 minutes. 

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We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

  • If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

  • It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

Rare blue watermelon

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

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akiraita

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

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unicornfan

soap makes water molecules smaller

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

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adataraxia

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

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softurl

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

The two way mirror

rinlockhart

“listen here, cumslut.”

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pettydavis

this is like staring directly into the sun during an eclipse

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theacedragon

Someone’s probably already done this, but alignment chart of “realistic” cgi or cgi that tried to stay as close to the original as possible. I don’t not take constructive criticism

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