the signs as lyrics from iDubbbz’s disstrack
disclaimer: we aren’t experts on horoscopes!! this was made for fun. forgive us if we offend you or get something wrong. :d
aries: “got cash, cash, money and the views and the clicks”
taurus: “you’re actually the dog filter on snapchat”
gemini: “that’s bad, but then i heard you try to rap. i was more disappointed than when I found out Casey Neistat didn’t have nice tats”
cancer: “jesus christ, you’re as predictable as a house tour”
leo: “you make me so wet with your reckless spending”
virgo: “to call you surface level would be an insult to the ground floor”
libra: “'cause you’re as basic as a one-block Rubik’s Cube”
scorpio: “please, take me to your mansion and fuck me!”
sagittarius: “you’re an insecure, unoriginal little bitch and that’s that”
capricorn: “i wanna be gay ‘cause you’re fucked and i wanna savour it
aquarius: “did it feel good, though?”
pisces: “a whiny Vietnamese wanna-be gangsta”