a banana!

Stephan Hawking was born on Galileo’s death date, and died on Einstein’s birth date.

I saw this shirt and immediately started crying. I’ve never been filled with so much fear in my entire life

why this look like a soviet propaganda poster

If your buttcrack was horizontal, it would make a clapping noise whenever you went up or down stairs.

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too many personal questions.

Like, “Whose blood is this”, and, “Where did you get it?”

A good place to hide a dead body is in a spacesuit, sitting in a roadster, heading to Mars.

All flat earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

What’s the appeal of markiplier? Like I don’t understand

There is none.

I am human garbage.

hello I’m here to deliver these and then hide for another like 4 months :^) hope y’all are doing well

Quick edit: sorry about the chat head thing in some of them. I just noticed that now

Pizza delivery is like the ambulance. If they’re late their delivery ends up cold.

‘The sky is the limit’ is a super demoralizing thing to say to an aspiring astronaut

what the fuck…

If humans are 70% water and water isn’t alive then humans are always 70% dead inside.

The most unrealistic thing that happened in Toy Story is Sid getting back-to-back successful attempts at the claw machine.

The amazing journey of jacksepticeye going from 100,000 subs to 1 Million subs over night. Next stop 10 million subs @therealjacksepticeye

They grow up so fast D’:

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

@maisiem2211