No fish were harmed in the making of this meet-cute: Marc Spector x fem!reader
Summary: You have a dilemma. You don’t want to sell the man any more fish. But you do want him to keep coming back to your shop 👀
Word count: short and sweet, a very quick one
Genre: meet-cute (or should that be a meet-cranky?), blurb, silly and fun
Warnings: dead fish, murder mentions, bit of sexism, way fluffier than it sounds. Not proofed.
Author’s note: can’t stop, send help 🥴
“Murderer!” you yell abruptly, in the direction of your shop’s most recently arrived patron.
Your loud, rather alarming accusation causes the other customers - dotted about the aisles - to turn towards you aghast. However, once they realise nothing bad is actually happening, they all too quickly resume their business. At least, mostly they do. The woman in the yellow dungarees is still having a good neb, from over the top of the stacks of kitty litter.
The bleary-eyed American -the current bane of your entire existence - whips his head toward you a little too quickly; which is almost an admission of guilt in itself really, when you think about it. He even begins to raise his palms a little in surrender as you storm determinedly towards him, his gaze evasive and body primed as though he’s preparing to fight or flee.
“Don’t think I can’t see you, eyeballing your next victim!” You stab your pointer finger angrily in the direction of the tanks, and he shrinks almost imperceptibly back from the force of your ire, making himself physically smaller. “If you think for a second that I’m selling you any more fish… I swear to God.”
“Uh. Excuse me?” he says indignantly, blinking his bleary eyes as though he’s just woken up. Perhaps that’s why he’s managing to sound cool as a cucumber in the face of your rather bold intervention; the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet. Meanwhile, his face (absurdly handsome, how dare he?) is the picture of innocence, but you don’t buy that for a second. What’s more, as your eyes needle him, he very deliberately slathers on a liberal coating of charm too, which you wholly refuse to fall for.
Oh, this is just typical him, isn’t it?
You look the man up and down, having the cheek to stand there all smug with his rolled-up utility shirt sleeves and combat boots and waterproof watch - like he’s just stepped out of the pages of some outdoor sports catalogue.
It annoys you. Everything about this man annoys you, from his ridiculously perfect hair to his penchant for fish murder. The latter in particular.