I can feel my Italian ancestors urging me to strangle Chris Pratt

pass the olive garden breadstick to your followers 

lol getting pulled into the office for an informal sit-down because we just finished our round of paltry and frankly offensive raises, and i've been calling them poverty wages/disrespect wages, because that's what they are. yes, miss manager, my vibe is a little rancid right now, but i have to spend all my break listening to my coworker who's going through a divorce cry in secret because she can't afford to live alone despite working a full 40 hours a week, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"you're riling everybody up and making a lot of negativity with your comments"

why? because i told the lady who's been there thirty-four years (to my six and a half), since the day the store opened, and who i can fully and freely admit works harder than i do, that i make $4 more than her? yeah she SHOULD be riled up

Talking about wages is a right we should exercise every day.

Me playing Through the Fire and the Flames

REBLOG IF IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO BOTHER YOU IF YOU'RE MY MUTUAL

I believe him.

"Does Poseidon tremble, Jeeves?" "Indubitably, sir."

what is the point of oscar the grouch on sesame street?

It’s okay to not like things and it’s okay to be unhappy. He was created from the idea that “non-destructive deviance” would go over well with kids.

THANK YOU!

Basically, the point of Oscar the Grouch is so that kids know it’s okay to have fucking emotions and moods that aren’t all cheery. That’s the fucking point. And that’s even more important to the kids who are living in harsh realities. Realities where their families are falling apart or they’re not getting food every day or they’re getting abused. Telling them it’s okay to express that they are NOT HAPPY because they are HURTING is so fucking important I cannot even say it. 

Big Bird is nice, but goddamn, when you’re a kid who’s hungry and you just got beat by your caretaker and all you wanna do is hole up somewhere and tell everyone else to go away because you don’t even have words for how bad things feel? Big Bird is not your dude. Cheery happy, “well, let’s play a happy game!” Big Bird ain’t cutting it for you. Oscar the Grouch is your dude. Oscar the Grouch is the dude who tells you it’s okay to put the lid on your garbage can and be alone and be upset.

Big Bird tries to talk you out of being upset (and maybe sometimes that’s okay). But Oscar the Grouch teaches you that, no, it’s okay to be upset and you have every right to stay upset and grouchy and unhappy until you’re at a point where that can change. Oscar the Grouch teaches you that you have a right to your emotions, whatever they are.

On a more advanced level, the point of Oscar is to start teaching kids that it’s okay to have boundaries, it’s okay to want to just go into your trash can (home/safe place) and not be bothered, it’s okay to defend those boundaries and say “go away!” when you want people to go the fuck away and that you can still have a place on Sesame Street. That not everyone has to be shiny, happy Big Bird. 

That’s the point of Oscar the Grouch.

“what is the point of oscar the grouch” who even made you

Also Oscar the Grouch *likes* things that no one else likes and he’s completely unapologetic about it. 

The fact that people tell you things you like are stupid doesn’t make it’s true. He loves trash. He loves it because it’s trash. That’s important too.

As is the fact that *even though everyone thinks his interests are stupid*, people don’t take his trash away and they don’t drag him out of his can.

Also he has *fantastic* body language. Boundary laden but also very emotional. And just the way he likes stuff and expresses interest…

…Oscar the Grouch = awesome.

This is a wonderful series of texts post that needs to be shared with all of you

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

no come back ma’am

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

underwater wife

Underwater love of my underwater life

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

I haven’t seen this post in like 3 years

me too

When you meet someone new and find out they like DND:

Everybody || Backstreet Boys

Just occurred to me that some of you may have never seen this music video. They had absolutely no reason to make it the way it is but damn they went hard.

One of the backstreet boys in 1997 : no I’m TELLING you, monster fuckers are the future.

A bit late, but- Here’s my contribution to the post-teaser bullshittery.

My dude Bowser over here having the absolute time of his life.

Doctor of war and darkness

Doctor of Fire and Sin

Lord of Fire and Gloom

Doctor Poison Melancholy

Lord of Nightmares and Torment

Monsieur Fire Agony

Lord of Fire and Melancholy

You don't win D&D by pissing off the DM, you win D&D by having a good time with your friends. <3

This. I am so done with "You winning DnD by making DM cry/create more rules/swear". First, this is not the challenge you want. Second, DnD is not a versus and DM is not your enemy. They are a player with more responsibilities than you.