The cast of NADDPod would be my ideal cast for the next season of Dirty Laundry

'Revenge is bad' to YOU. i love when a character destroys everyone who wronged them. i love when they get to bite and maim and tear and rip and scratch and kill. Sorry ur catholic about it but i'm different

correct

worlds specialist fish

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “Fearful Symmetry” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw Chungledown Bim in the Nightmare King's Forest

My buddy Riz pacing: kalina is lying to us

I know you said I’d be going through some changes now that I’m a tween but I didn’t think you meant like this

mmm soob

Top Ten Worst Moments of My Life: last night my fiancée paused the House ep and whispered something in my hard of hearing ear that i didn’t quite catch. i THOUGHT she mightve said we should fuck and come back to the ep later ??? but that’s pretty out of character for her and it was a really good hilson domestic ep so i just said “watching house and wilson is like sex to me” and hit play, assuming that if she really did want to have sex she would scoff and pause it again.

apparently thats exactly what she wanted but she didnt scoff nor did she pause it. she let it play. we watched the whole episode. she just took it at face value that i would rather watch house and wilson queerbait than have actual gay sex

Emily Axford’s PCs Ranked by How Likely They Are To Have Worn Crocs:

There was discussion on a recent short rest about which of Emily’s PCs are most likely to wear crocs, so I humbly present my findings:

1. Brenda Elizabeth: 100% canonical that she wears crocs. She is even wearing crocs in her canon artwork. God bless you Zac Oyama.

2. Tarragon Snakeroot: Also 100% canonical that she wears crocs, but the DM is being a little punk about it. Regardless of whether or not Murph thinks crocs exist in Eldermourne, if Emily says she’s wearing crocs, she’s wearing crocs.

3. Sophia Lee: A human living on present day earth. I’m certain she’s worn crocs around her place on Staten Island.

4. Chirp Featherfowl: Lives in the Feywild, but has a wife and child on present day earth. Has definitely tried on her wife’s crocs. Loves the novelty of them.

5. Ylfa Snorgelsson: Same voice as Brenda Elizabeth, so she’s already croc-coded. Plus, due to multiversal shenanigans, it’s almost guaranteed that there exists a version of her who’s worn crocs.

6. Onyx Lumiere: I don’t remember if crocs have been confirmed as canon in Trinyvale, but they definitely are. If Onyx didn’t already own a pair of pastel crocs, she’s surely looted a pair from someone she’s killed.

7. Fia Boginya: Crocs are not necessarily her style, but she lives in Eldermourne, so she’s had ample opportunity to wear them.

8. Brimstone Billy: Also, lives in Eldermourne, but I’m not sure if crocs have made their way to Endoterra yet.

9. Sundry Sidney: Technically exists in our future, but crocs are probably ancient relics in her time. Even if she could get her hands on a pair, she wouldn’t be able to get them on over her permanent roller skates.

10. Fig Faeth: I’m gonna say that crocs probably exist in Solace, but Fig was too preppy to wear them as a kid and is too punk to wear them now.

11. Moonshine Cybin: I’ll throw Murph a bone and say that crocs don’t exist in Bahumia, but if they did, I bet Moonshine would wear them. If a crick elf was gonna wear shoes, they’d probably wear crocs.

12. Calliope Petrichor: Again, no crocs in Bahumia, but even extra no crocs in the Feywild. Furthermore, they aren’t really the shoes of choice for either crime families or knights. No crocs for Calli.

13. Saccharina Frostwhip: Calorum is the setting least likely to contain crocs. It’s such a classic medieval fantasy world. That said, growing up poorer than the other PCs makes Saccharina the most likely A Crown of Candy character to have worn crocs.

14. Jet Rocks: By far the least likely Axford character to have worn crocs. Spent her short life growing up royal in a lavish castle with dreams of becoming a military commander in a world where crocs absolutely do not exist in the first place. Case closed.

logical reasons as to why Jaina has a bronze glow about her when Calder sees her in the helm of Ultrus:

- magical representation of the orb

- a weird interaction with being a bronzebeard/wielding the kingshammer inside that deeply magical helm

reasons i’m choosing to believe as to why Jaina has a bronze glow about her when Calder sees her in the helm of Ultrus:

- her natural rizz

- the ebbing of her charisma, which is a 25, manifesting with a physical form

this reply in the comments tho

This did not go where I expected from the first tweet and now I am laughing so hard I am crying.

A Fable of Long Ago*

One afternoon a big wolf waited in a dark forest for a little girl to come along carrying a basket of food to her grandmother. Finally a little girl did come along and she was carrying a basket of food. “Are you carrying that basket to your grandmother?” asked the wolf. The little girl said yes, she was. So the wolf asked her where her grandmother lived and the little girl told him and he disappeared into the wood.

When the little girl opened the door of her grandmother’s house she saw that there was somebody in bed with a nightcap and nightgown on. She had approached no nearer than twenty-five feet from the bed when she saw that it was not her grandmother but the wolf, for even in a nightcap a wolf does not look any more like your grandmother than the Metro-Goldwyn** lion looks like Calvin Coolidge. So the little girl took an automatic out of her basket and shot the wolf dead.

Moral: It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be.

(James Thurber, in this selection of brief tales collected in The New Yorker, *1939. Caution: contains palookas.)

**Yeah, you guessed it: this was before Mayer. :)

If companies didn't forcibly switch their free trial to a payment plan immediately after the free trial ends so that I have to be extremely cognizant in order to not be taken advantage of, I would actually do free trials and have a better chance of deciding to buy their subscription or whatever. But because I have to be on constant alert to make sure I cancel the free trial before they use my forcibly-given credit card information to charge me money without my consent, I never do the free trial that they believe will convince me to pay for their product.

cradle

when tulips erupt from my ribcage, is it grotesque or lovely?

i am the wolf & u r

Oh but you were too good for the "donkey" dogs, huh?