little scorpion

Girl I do no know how to explain that the vast majority of adults used to be children.

The tags are all great here but this one made me look at it for a couple seconds. I don’t recall jesus being born an adult im very certain he was also a baby at some point

there’s a very popular holiday about it, in fact

woops

bro what the fuck lmfao. funniest possible thing to say for absolutely no reason

sure why not. new canon

Customer: HAMMER HAS BEEN MY NICKNAME SINCE I WAS 3 YEARS OLD AND I AM SAYING THAT THE TRUCK IS MINE THROUGH THAT NICKNAME DMV: HAMMER=PENIS Verdict: DENIED

they also might not be giants. let's not get our hopes up

i just don't want you guys to get hurt

tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

ive been standing with my arms behind my back ponderously like at a museum

wait wait you’ve been pondering at the museum? I’ve just been jerking off there

i'm proposing a new diagnostic critera for autism spectrum testing

you sit down at the plastic table because your partner likes being outside at the bar even though it’s 90 degrees and 60% humidity at 10pm and you thought this corduroy dress was soooo cute but now youre all sweaty and so one of your balls has escaped your panties but youre wearing fishnets so your loose nut is now dying like a sea turtle in a six pack ring and youre the desperate diver trying to save it but blind and one handed and stone faced cause you can’t draw attention to the fact that youre doing a high stakes wildlife rescue on your stupid scrotum in public because it might turn into a six month news cycle and desantis might fly out to personally bulldoze the bar. and its a thursday

i dreamt this post got 19k notes overnight and everyone i knew had disowned me for for my cat 5 Sack Slip event

my brutalist son just killed my rococo son with his gray concrete alphabet blocks

the worst tag on this post led to panic at the disco fans en masse in my notes. but the best tag on this post was the person who claimed this gave them baby fever

this animal

doesn’t rhyme, taylor!

this is all real . google it