robot penis

I’m making it a habit to say “drac u later” when I leave a room and “I’m backula” when I enter a room

Yeza, who has been locked away alone in a dark cell and deprived of food in a prison designed to disorient people: Who's there??

Jester: GUESS WHO IT ISSSSSSS~ 🎵

Hopefully one day someone will think of me this way

i like that when we talk about characters bioware is biased against it's just a bunch of women and anders. kind of a kurt hummel situation.

Could mean nothing

it took over 10 years but we fucking got em!

ohh yeah im a real piece of shit 👍 job please

"you'll pay for this" - me as a cashier

Officespeak is just roleplaying a sassy Vulcan. Change my mind

in Maine sheep are released on offshore Islands in spring to graze for summer. With no natural predators on these islands sheep thrive. To be corralled up and brought back to the mainland in early fall.

Seafaring Sheep travel to their Private Island Paradise for the Summer.

um sorry for moaning when you stabbed me. it's been a really long time since anyone touched me like that

[shaking, pale, clammy, on the verge of passing out from shock] please canyuou put your fwngers in it

Found out yesterday that Nicky Katt passed away over the weekend. I’ve seen him in various TV dramas over the years, but he’ll always be Atton mf Rand to me 😢

I love the random replacements for clichés writers insert in science fiction shows. like when a 21st-century human would say "stop pacing you'll wear a hole in the floor" but in a space show the alien/future human says "you're oscillating like a Betelgeusian night badger" or some shit. like fuck yeah he is. amazing drive-by worldbuilding. I'm gonna spend the next half hour wondering why the Betelgeusian night badger evolved to do that

you contradict yourself because you contain multitudes. i contradict myself because i am wrong.

when i had to do the life-sized chess puzzle in bg3 i had gale and his ridiculously high INT score putzing around trying to figure out how to "take down the king in 2 moves or less" and then i got frustrated after like ten failed attempts (i'm bad at chess) so i had karlach smash the king piece with a hammer. and it fucking worked. it counted because it took two moves or less. i cannot imagine anything funnier than Gale of Waterdeep rubbing his beard and muttering and frowning at this chess puzzle right up until the 6'5" barbarian woman goes "take it down in 2 moves or less? bet" and just smashes it to pieces. gale is just left there like WHAT. THAT'S NOT HOW THE GAME WORKS. YOU CAN'T JUST-- COME ON.