Todd Howard’s brain is equal parts American idolatry, stupidity, and a pathological need to lie

i cant get over the king charles portrait. they made that thing to age in his place. that painting hangs in the house of a too-friendly family you find in the post apocalyptic wasteland who inexplicably has a ready supply of fresh meat. if mario jumped into that painting he wouldn't find a charming platformer he would be flayed and hanged like a medieval criminal by an unseeable force in a droning red void. that painting is a color blindness test for people who work in IT but believe in the divine right of kings. that painting is going to weep the sequel to blood. after he dies charles is gonna crawl outta that thing like sadako.

this painting is what ultrakill speedrunners see when they close their eyes. if you showed this to the romans who flogged jesus theyd think this painting is excessive. this painting is the blood cavern from space funeral. it's the color out of space.

jegus tapdancing christ it is actually that bad

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

Game recognize game

kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

And he's losing.

Finally confirming that Xbox is run by people that legit don't know how games are made anymore.

"We fired them because they wanted to make games!"

"No you see, It would be expensive and take time to make games so we would rather fire them"

They could ask for a smaller scope but all they want is AAA, which is inherently expensive and takes a long time.

Literally the end game capitalism of having business people trying to run a company they know nothing about by using the strategies they were taught regardless if they apply or not to the industry they are in.

Beyond moronic.

FOR FUCKS SAKE

Literally in a fucking arms race to see who can become the first media company that doesn't produce any goddamn media.

IM FULLY LOSING IT FALIN LEARNS ABOUT THEIR MONSTER EATING ADVENTURES AND IMMEDIATELY IS LIKE "so what about fish-people? :3" AND LAIOS JUST "no the party didnt let me :<"

this right after they feed her red dragon meat whilst she is still unaware that her new body is.. made of dragon meat.... and laios is like "eh its probably fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

Just

fear.jpg

Hey tumblr???? Hey fucking tumblr?????

hello?

sdfghjhgfd

Target audience

I have the dragon pussy candle (got it for my gf as a jokey Xmas gift) and

1. It smells pretty good! Fruit+spices+smoke?

2. The scent fucking SPREADS and LINGERS. I had it lit for like half an hour last winter and I swear to god our entire apartment smelled like dragon pussy for the rest of the night. My gf walked in the door and was immediately like “you lit the dragon pussy candle didn’t you” and I had to be like “yeah, I did”. We almost exclusively use it for either “we just smoked weed and now we’re opening all the windows” moments or “the cats just made a horrible monster smell that must be defeated by a greater monster”.

3. You will light it and immediately go “huh, yeah I guess that is what dragon pussy would smell like”

depicting sexual assault in media is not an endorsement of it 🤝 it's reasonable for audiences to expect a certain level of care and awareness in its presentation 🤝 there is oftentimes an over-reliance on sexual violence in creating the backstories, trajectories, and conflicts of fictional women 🤝 sexual violence is prevalent in society and stories about it do need to be told as a reflection of our reality 🤝 sometimes male writers and directors are extremely bad at telling these stories and audiences are justified in demanding better

Another example of how statistics are the Devil, and one must always be vigilant as to whether a claim of averages is referring to mean, median, or mode.

I found out japanese fans are calling this the "american comic book-style marcille"

i'm WHEEZING LMAO