James Baldwin  This morning, this evening, so soon  

what an interesting way for Catelyn to pair up the men in her thoughts. Stannis and Renly, brothers at war. Robb and Robert, kings. Jaime and Jon? traitors? men who threaten her children? men she still has hope will help save them?

We worry so much. Sometimes it feels like that’s all we do, but in the end it just gets washed away. All of it just gets washed away.

THE SOPRANOS 1999-2007

in the time loop the only way out is to leave her there but you don't ever leave her there, never in the roughly one thousand years you have been in the same day. it is probably like "50 first dates" but you haven't stooped so low as to watch "50 first dates" yet. (but who is to say what another thousand years of the same media will bring to you, maybe you will develop a new taste).

you spent about 200 of these years sulking in a bathtub or on the couch or staring at the seaside. 300 of them have been spent slowly mapping the geographical distance you can actually get before the time loop restarts. you have a list of favorite places: one library in Western Massachusetts called "The Bookmill", which has weird hours and has never raised an eyebrow to you arriving out-of-breath and panting, asking to see a specific book on a specific shelf. There is one beach without a name in North Carolina; it is an accident of geography and ownership title disputes - and it is pristine, untouched, warm and cozy. you've taken her on a lot of picnics there. Acadia National Park. One specific birdhouse in the mountains.

you were stuck in the time loop with the money you entered it with: not enough to rent a private jet. you've robbed a bank a few times, you don't like the way it ends. maybe next century you'll get the hang of it. you don't like the look on her face when you say hang on i have to stop at the bank.

you just have to leave her, and you can go back to being a person again. you took 5 years just catching a flight and sitting in the Grand Canyon. if there's one thing you regret more than anything, it's that you hadn't gotten your passport renewed before this fucking time loop. maybe you should spend some time learning forgery - but also, like, you look like an english teacher. nobody is going to be cool about you asking to see their paper printing machines.

the world is very big. that is one of the things groundhog day gets wrong. there are no consequences, so you have literally all the time (or none of the time?) in the world. in groundhog day, he does a lot of very cool things, but in reality - your muscle memory never gets better. you can't necessarily learn how to play piano or sculpt ice, because your hands never remember the practice. but hey - maybe you'll try violin next. drums. synth.

you can open any door and walk into any conversation. money isn't really an object. you can try every meal off every menu, forever. take her on helicopter tours and into every museum and on every event that is happening right-now at-this-moment. parades and funerals and calligraphy classes.

but you are somewhat trapped by the limitations of your body. if you were reading a book, you still need to get up and go back to the library and find that book again when the day resets. (thank god for the internet). it still takes like 2 hours to board a plane, and then takeoff and landing and traffic. you've gotten off to run around on the freeway. one of the little thankful things: since your brain isn't actually developing (it's a muscle too), the days thankfully don't feel shorter to you. that would be agony.

all you have to do to leave the timeloop is let that man get away with it. that's all. in every version of yourself - forever - you have stopped him.

the problem is that this experience has convinced you of the existence of the human soul. after all, how else are you forming memories? your very cells reset. information has to be transferred somehow. and if timeloops are real, you can convince yourself other magic exists. so you have two choices here: this hell, or the next. there might be a millennia where you have been worn down to the point you can accept fate's decision. this is just not one of them. ironically - she is the one thing you have left.

and besides! if you can't always find something new in your partner, aren't you failing them? there is something new about her, every day with the same morning. every brutal day with the same orange sunset.

after all, you wanted to live with her in heaven, in eternity, and, well - isn't this second-best.

THE STAR WARS PREQUEL TRILOGY: A TRAGEDY

(i) Matthew Stover, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith; (ii) Jean Anouilh, Antigone (translated by Zander Teller); (iii) Aeschylus, The Oresteia; (iv) Jean Anouilh, Antigone (translated by Zander Teller); (v) Richard Siken, Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out; (vi) Richard Siken, War of the Foxes; (vii) Richard Siken, Planet of Love

Game of Thrones (2011 - 2019) // The Fallen Angel, Alexandre Cabanel // House of the Dragon (2022 - ) (x)

BLACK SAILS + favourite season -> season 2

@pscentral​ event 25: seasons (insp)

aegon 2 and 3 are such. wildly tragic characters. your name is aegon you were never a person because your name is aegon and your father sacrificed everything for a son. not you, though. you were his duty. so your name is aegon. and your mother loves you, but you were also her duty. she resents you for it as much as she loves you. who cares what type of person you become? you’ll still become aegon and you’ll sit on that throne. you’re simply a reflection of every violent act such a throne requires. history will remember that you lost, and history will remember that you are aegon II targaryen; you were king and then you died. who are you?

and then! your name is aegon. your mother named you aegon because your uncle is aegon and your mom needed another aegon. your mom loves you desperately. she keeps you like a shadow. you watch your mother die in fire. you watch your brother die in the ocean. you watch your brother die in the air. men you don’t know put you on the throne that killed your mother and your father and your brothers because your name is aegon and you are king. you try to be a good king. you marry the daughter of the man who killed your family. she’s the only person who can possibly understand you. and she dies too. your name is aegon and the people know you as the dragonsbane, a destroyer of legacies, sullen and angry. you only smile once in recorded history: when your little brother unexpectedly comes home alive. but then he has a son. and he names that son aegon. and all the dragons die, but the fire that killed your mother spreads.

A little evil for a greater god.

Eva Green in Kingdom of Heaven

you do have to hand it to duke leto atreides because knowingly walking into a trap because “the first step to evading the trap is knowing where the trap is” and then simply not evading the trap was a chess move of all time

nothin' quite like how a dog loves

let dead dogs lie - silas denver melvin // red dog - elizabeth frink // how to be a dog - andrew kane // domestication syndrome - dhole b // no origin found // for your own good - leah horlick // pleasure - beth cavener // it will come back - hozier // i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth. - uhode // same poem as directly previous

affc landing on like a perfect thematic ending in the last Jaime chap where he realizes he’s spent the entire time running around the riverlands trying to emulate his father but it’s snowing it’s winter now there are no more chances to plant it’s already too late and the realm will suffer. how would tywin feed the realm? oh yeah he’s been dead the entire time none of this had any meaning at all. and jaime breaks and you’re like wow what a book. but like NOT SO FAST there’s one more chapter we’re all going to wizard school and what’s this???? PATE THE PIG BOY COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR???? scream

the funniest part of it is that it’s secret wizard school operating inside of the regular university and sam had no knowledge of intention of going to wizard school they just intercepted him first. imagine showing up on day 1 of uni and some guy you met for 10 minutes before he exits the plot changed ur schedule from like calc to portents of doom 101 and then ur not allowed to tell anyone ab it or the dean of students will poison you

desire is suffering