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Men say that I'm intense

@steakandvodka / steakandvodka.tumblr.com

I'm just here to enjoy my shows and have a good time. Shadowhunters ~ Brooklyn Nine-Nine ~ Schitt's Creek
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true story i was having a bad night so i searched youtube for ancient dan videos & came up with this treasure from 2012 that singlehandedly cured all my mental illnesses & vitamin deficiencies

  • 0:31 - is desperately trying to understand how low-cut braless looks work;Β β€œdoes she have like little stilts underneath to keep them in place?”
  • 0:48 - uses the phraseΒ β€œtits galore”
  • 1:35 -Β β€œa fun frilly sock?? LACE???”
  • 2:05 -Β β€œif you almost cross your eyes, it looks like an elephant’s head”
  • 2:52 -Β β€œi applied self-tanner once. it was bad. i looked like rust.” THE WAY HE SAYS IT (also hi dan david is literally just you)
  • 3:00 - incensed by impractical airport outfits, describes his ideal airport look;Β β€œme & kesha would wear similar outfits to the airport”
  • 3:41 -Β β€œyou’ve REALLY looked at her crotch”
  • 4:00 -Β β€œwhen i throw my jeans in the washer/dryer they come out as jights. jean tights.”
  • 4:28 -Β β€œnext time you see me, i’ll be as brown as this chair” *literally drops mic*
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Listen you FUCKS. Patrick [middle name redacted] Brewer saved the receipt from their first sale without knowing David’s birthday was coming up, without plans to gift it to David for any other knowable reason (christmas was months away by that point) and without doing something like, you know, displaying it in the store or whatever. The boy saved that damb receipt because he was in LOVE and GAY and wanted to LOOK AT IT after returning home from his SAD HIKES please throw me off rattlesnake POINT

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i’ve been thinking about this for several days now, and i keep picturing a scene where stevie and patrick and ted are all sitting at the motel, nervously looking back and forth between each other because this is it–someone’s made an offer on the town and the roses have called the three of them here and so clearly this is where they’re going to tell them what they’ve decided, and johnny starts withΒ okay well you know we’ve had an offer to sell and we’ve thought about it quite a bit, and he starts to dive into the pros of selling the town and the cons of selling the town, and he’s like pulling up spreadsheets on his laptop and practically giving them a full powerpoint presentation about all the factors they’ve had to consider in the decision-making process, and the whole time the three non-roses are looking at each other like what the fuck? can he just get to the point already?, and johnny finally gets to the end of his whole talk and goes well what do you think?, and the three of them look at each other again, shrugging, and stevie braves being their representative voice and says what do we think about what?, andΒ johnny says about selling the town,Β what do you think we should do?, and three pairs of eyes go wide and they all look at each other again, even more confused than before, and so stevie pipes up again, why are you askingΒ us? isn’t that supposed to be, like, a family decision?,Β and johnny, so confused by their reaction but so sincere in his response says, but you are family…

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