hey good news

there's a specifically designated role in the naked mole rat ecology for "guy who runs off into the wilderness and fucks their way into a stranger's house"

Y'all have no idea how absurdly strange naked mole rats are as creatures They're cold-blooded mammals that live in a eusocial structure with a queen and drones, similar to ants, bees, termites and no other mammal on the planet. They barely need to breathe, with a respiration rate low enough to let them thrive in burrows with 2% oxygen, and survive with 0 oxygen whatsoever for about 20 minutes with zero lasting effects.

They live for over 30 years, which is absurdly long for a rodent, don't grow frail with age, and are basically immune to cancer because their telomeres just never shorten.

Naked Mole Rats are rodents that attempted to evolve into bugs, failed, and unlocked the secret to immortality in the process.

Nirvana in Fire aka how to get a dad to admit he might have been wrong in 54 episodes or less, feat. coming back from the dead to mobilise 50 people into giving him a breakdown at his own birthday party 👍

funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":

feel free to add on

THIS ONE WINS

oh you know

What is homestuck? Is it like goncharov?

How is he his brother and biological father please

dave is his genetic offspring but was adopted as a little brother rather than a son. all things considered, it's one of the less convoluted aspects of homestuck's family tree

LESS CONVOLUTED?

don't worry about it 🙂

relevant to this blog i think

I like to think i’m allowed to be proud of this

Bowl identification:

East Fork soup bowl in either Eggshell or Panna Cotta, featuring the brass flatware available on their website; Lucky Charms.

did you just... know this??

i fucking adore how hard posts on this website spiral out of control

prompt for @/tinybingy jc trying to make yanli’s lotus rib soup for young jin ling, having some sort of breakdown over it bc its not the same and he can’t do it but jin ling eats it anyways and without meaning to makes jc feel a lot better about it all

cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it

"The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist; a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain."

-Ursula K. LeGuin, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas

"Evil is boring. Right? I kinda believe in the banality and mundaneness of evil. Evil is just selfish impulses, which at the end of the day are really easy to understand. It’s easy to understand why people do bad things. It’s like “yeah, ok, you’re selfish and scared and cruel, I get it”. Being good is complex and beautiful and hard." - Brennan Lee Mulligan

“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”

- Simone Weil

Medusa was kinda problematic  :/

She objectified a lot of people 

@sparklecryptid

I think you are one of the people who can properly appreciate this disaster

@sparklecryptid

@certifiedlibraryposts

Certified Library Post

Oh dear. Oh deary deary deary dear mcdear.

Also: fuck.

New meme format released. Pass it on.

The LAUGH I just laughed is like no sound I have ever made before, this is hysterical 🤣

'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so

also the exploding appendix

there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.

Most mammals can’t get scurvy. They make their own Vitamin C. But in primates, the gene to make it is broken. Normally, when an important gene breaks, the organism dies and has no surviving descendants, but when it broke a few million years ago, our ancestors were living in a lush climate with lots of fruit and survived the failure just fine.

Then humans invented fire and clothing, and moved to colder climates where fresh food was only available part of the year, and scurvy was born.

And our reproduction, oh heavens. There are SO MANY WAYS that human reproduction is fucked up that simply DO NOT APPLY to other animals, even the our nearest relatives, the great apes. When a gorilla is giving birth, she finds a nice hiding place in the trees, squats down for like half an hour, and pushes out a baby. Humans, not so much. In fact, the outcomes of unassisted childbirth in humans are so poor that most anthropologists agree that we must have invented midwifery in some form before we became fully human.

Ribcage is a hell of a word. Like yeah my bones trapped my heart inside my chest if u even care. I don’t know if it wants out

dude no your ribcage (and all vertebrates ribcages?) are for the lungs.

These muscle-bound bars bully your lungs in and stretch them out, with extra taunts from the tautening diaphram. Your alveoli get only a couple seconds rest before the obliques are at the bars again, demanding more work.

Your heart is just the neurotic pacing cellmate in the back, mildly jostled by the drama of surrounding organs. Without a rib cage, they will keep contracting, but your lungs would never work again.

I am once again thinking about digging holes

It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification

I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable

Sweet bromance ❤️

The Eroticism of Shooting Your Brother with a Sniper Rifle

I think the hot new trends for this summer should be reading comprehension and critical thinking skills

when you walk in and they have this on their wall

you know the panties hit the floor

Mystrade in a Nutshell

(Given how popular this was, I thought I’d give Greg’s perspective a go, for the Other Side of Mystrade.)

Greg: My wife cheated on me. The boy whose life I saved told everyone that, and at Christmas. I work too much without much thanks. All I want is a quiet pint, and I can’t even get that without a former colleague spinning me crazy conspiracy theories.

Fans: You know what you need? Someone to spoil you. You deserve some taking care of. 

Fans: You can clearly get along with a Holmes. How about you take the one who knows how to behave? The one with more power and money than some minor royalty? With the sexy voice and the long legs and the graceful hands? The one who thinks you’re gorgeous and has a thing for a bit of rough who can make him laugh and explain feelings to him?

Time to bring back “why Mystrade?” ?

Why Mystrade? This is why. This. I’ve got a thing for sad middle-aged and handsome policemen being looked after by posh intellectual folk who breech their emotional defences.