As PhD. Boob scrutinized the electromagnetic spectrum, the truth gradually dawned upon him that the excitations displayed on the screen were a conundrum, defying explanation. Through the eerie waves' resonant concord, the form underwent a transmutation, ceasing to be subject to the vibrations of our terrestrial plane. Ensnared by the enigmatic electronic wavelength, the form was but a plaything of forces beyond our ken. Upon being zapped by the mysterious energy, the rhizomatic structures of two disparate realms momentarily coalesced, providing a fleeting bridge between them before instantaneously diverging once more. The form was thus ensnared in one infinite extremity, rather than the other. Some theorized that the zenon-consuming breatharians who walked among us were but fragments of their true selves, with their other multifarious mind-forms residing in the alternate plane. Verily, so be it thus spoke Boob's colleague at the hallowed halls of the university, as he described the fateful moment when the scientist first espied the veil that concealed the truths beyond our world. Boob, a learned and erudite master of the electromagnetic sciences, beheld with terror and unease the strange and eldritch excitations displayed upon the spectral screen. Never before had he encountered such anomalies, and the nape of his neck did prick with unearthly dread as he gazed upon the ominous waves. The deeper he delved into the mystery, the more he felt the strange and alluring pull of something beyond the confines of the mortal coil. Despite his apprehension, the lure of discovery was too great for Boob to resist, and he felt his body transformed as he was drawn into the maw of the strange electronic wavelength. His corporeal form was entrapped, and he perceived the fleeting instant when the two distinct worlds were bridged in a rhizomatic connection. Some among the learned circles whispered of beings in this other realm who exist as mere fragments of their true self in our world. And what, pray tell, befalls those who have made their abode in that strange and unknown land? Boob shuddered at the thought, yet he could not dispel the wonder and awe that filled his heart at the possibilities beyond the veil of our existence. He was resolute in his determination to unlock the secrets of the other realm, to cross the boundaries between worlds and unravel the mysteries that lay therein. As the estranged academic ventured forth into the anomalous realm, he quickly discerned that the denizens of this strange and peculiar world reveled in a state of felicity infinitely greater than those in the mundane plane. Here, the beings were unchained from the shackles of conventional society, basking in a blissful existence that only but a few dare to dream. Everywhere he beheld, he saw a tapestry woven of purest joy and a sense of completion. This was a terrestrial paradise, where worry and stress were unknown, a place of contentment and ease. Despite the magnetic attraction of this utopia, Boob, the bitter empiricist, felt a great deal of repugnance towards this idyllic existence. He was unaccustomed to a life where happiness and fulfillment were ubiquitous and toil and worry were relegated to myth. He perceived this utopia as a renunciation of the veracity, a disavowal of the rugged trials and tribulations that make life so vital and meaningful. He beheld it as a shallow and superficial life, lacking in profundity and significance. Still, the academic could not deny the allure of this other realm. He felt a strange pull, as if he was predestined to be there, to bask in its warm glow. As he delved deeper, he mused on what it would be like to live in such a place, to be freed from the toils and worries of the mortal plane. Yet, at the same time, he recognized that his rigid and conventional beliefs would always hinder him from fully embracing this new world. The scholar was torn, a stranger in two worlds, adrift between realms, searching for a place to call his own. He was haunted by a sense of melancholy, for he knew that he could never truly belong in either plane, that he was forever caught between two opposing worlds, with no place to call home. Boob was at his office, his gaze fixed upon the electromagnetic waves displayed on his screen, when he was suddenly overtaken by a rush of memories. He recalled the treachery of his students who cheated on their exams, and how the once captivating subject of electromagnetism was now in decline, with young learners' interests swayed by TikTok. His beloved wife, once the center of his world, had become a "screen-addicted entity," entranced by the infinite scrolling of Instagram. His children, once vibrant and energetic, now struggled to focus, their minds dulled by the unending stream of YouTube videos fed to them by their mother. Boob was suffering in a metamodernist nightmare, surrounded by a world that offered only distractions and numbing, where no one truly cared about anything beyond their screens. He was struggling with work stress, night terrors, persistent anxiety and a persistent urge to escape. In that moment of contemplation, Boob felt a profound void and loneliness. He realized that he lived in a world where the intricacies and marvels of life were fading away, overshadowed by the saturation of pointless content. He felt like a stranger in this world, lost and alone. His soul yearned for something more, something tangible and significant. He longed for a world where people could form authentic connections, where they could uncover and admire the beauty and complexity of the universe. He sought a world where he could find meaning and satisfaction, a place where he truly belonged. Boob was ensconced in his study, when his avuncular acquaintance, Jeremy, made his unexpected entrance. The elder of the two had an expression of mild disapproval upon his visage, and he made his way toward Boob with a stately pace. "Nephew," began Jeremy with a tone of reprimand, "thou art obstinate in thy refusal of the societas Facebookiana. Thou hast become an outcast, both in this world and in the aether beyond. Dost thou not perceive that Facebook holds the key to thy liberation from this dreary existence?" Boob was taken aback by his uncle's words, feeling a sense of unease grip him. Could he have erred in declining the invitation to join Facebook? Or was there something more ominous lurking beneath the surface? As he ruminated upon these thoughts, Boob realized that this discourse with Jeremy was far from its conclusion. Jeremy's visage twisted into a moue of displeasure. "Thou art stubborn, Nephew. Verily, thou art an outcast in this world and the next. Dost thou not comprehend that Facebook is the key to transcending thy mundane existence? The world beyond is a utopia, filled with endless delight, where thy wildest imaginings are fulfilled. But thou, thou shalt remain trapped in thy metamodernist hell of work stress and anxiety, forever." Boob's uncle's words stung, and he could not shake the feeling of unease that had taken hold of him. Had he made the wrong decision in refusing Facebook's allure? Or was there truly something more sinister at play? As he pondered these thoughts, Boob realized that the conversation with Jeremy was far from over. Uncle Jeremy hastened back into Boob's office, with a sense of urgency in his movements. Boob was momentarily frozen, watching as his uncle quickly set to work preparing the room for some manner of initiation rite. "Fear not, nephew," Uncle Jeremy said, his voice low and soothing. "You are about to be initiated into the metamodernist society. A most exclusive and mysterious order, guided by the wisdom of the ancient and learned women of the village." Boob looked on as Uncle Jeremy retrieved a mysterious snake ring from his pocket, which he used to communicate with the delegate of the fifty-year-old women who served as moderators of the society's Facebook group. The room was transformed, as Uncle Jeremy made various archaic symbols and signs upon the walls and floor, muttering incantations and ancient prayers in a voice that echoed through the room. "The society's code of conduct is the 'Logical Fallacies Master Post' on their Facebook page," Uncle Jeremy informed Boob, as he finished his preparations. "It is a compendium of wisdom, passed down from the ages, that shall guide you on your journey." Boob felt a growing sense of unease, as he realized that he was about to be initiated into a society whose ways and beliefs were shrouded in mystery and secrecy. He wondered what sort of people would hide behind the veil of religion, using it as a cover for their extremist activities. "The time hath come," Uncle Jeremy proclaimed, his voice ringing with authority. "Are you ready, nephew, to embrace the truth and bask in the light of the metamodernist society?" Boob was caught in a moment of indecision, torn between his fear and his curiosity. He wondered what sort of life awaited him if he were to be initiated into this mysterious society. He could not deny the allure of the unknown, the promise of a life that was different from the one he currently lived. Boob, overcome with desperation, seized his computer and wrought from the electromagnetic spectrum displayed there a social media app. With fervor, he published it on the iStore and sent forth a link to all he knew. Boob succumbed to that which he once abhorred, giving in to his longing for escape and infecting others with his manner of fleeing reality. The world became evermore saturated with opportunities to lose one's soul to the digital realm. Boob retired to his electromagnetic utopia, growing stagnant in the physical realm. Jeremy, his attention span diminished, abandoned his Facebook society and pledged allegiance to Boob's utopia. The two conversed of the rising levels of melancholy, isolation, and discontent with life widespread throughout the land. They held hope that more would turn to Boob's utopia.
