Callsigns are ALL like this. I know in movies everyone's got cool callsigns, but you have to EARN a cool callsign. Most people's are like, commemoration of something real stupid they did, or, like, "Carrots" bc "he ate carrots weirdly." This database is a treasure trove:

Also unironically if you are nb and have an "object" name you can 100% get old republicans to use it by just claiming it's for something dumb. "Yeah man I go by Brick because I dropped a bunch of bricks once and messed up a timeline on a job" will get everyone you will ever meet to call you that.

I JUST CHECKED THIS IS REAL IM SCREAMING

When you’ve spent 92 years on this earth with the name “Dick Van Dyke” and you’re only just now hearing the dumbest possible joke about it.

I made a sign for the door to my room. One side had a kitty playing in the sun saying “I’m awake! You can interact!” and the other side had a kitty sleeping on the moon, it saying “Please be quiet, I’m sleeping.”

Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo

Shes just a fucking baby

Baby with a 60% successful kill rate

you guys don’t have the boop feature anymore? that’s weird, mine is still here

you guys don’t have the

boop feature anymore? that’s

weird, mine is still here

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I know they're named after him but for reasons I can't fully articulate it's hilarious that the guy who invented zeppelins was named Ferdinand von Zeppelin

Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin literally sounds like the joke name someone would make up if they didn't know the actual answer

oh you KNOW he’s got that big bushy mustache

He looks exactly like the guy that would invent zeppelins

…feEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL FOR YOU ONLY YOU CAN LET IT IN

Pokemon Heritage Post

i support women's neutrals. i support when women just stand there and do nothing

How is this person still alive

Hey real talk for a moment, but please don’t microwave eggs. The egg does, indeed, explode, and if it explodes as you’re opening the microwave, you can get badly burned. Especially if you’re trying to poach them. The boiling water can shoot out onto you and cause horrible burns.

Ann Reardon talked about this a few years ago and it was very informative since I hadn’t known eggs explode in microwaves before watching this video.

Here’s the video if anyone is curious:

This is one of the best running gags in cinematic history

If you're lamenting the fact that you used to be able to shoot through a 500-page novel in like a day when you were in middle school and now you can't, it's worth bearing in mind that a big part of that is because when you were in middle school, your reading comprehension sucked. Yes, mental health and the stresses of adult life can definitely be factors, but it's also the case that reading is typically more effortful as an adult because you've learned to Ponder The Implications. The material isn't just skimming over the surface of your brain anymore, and some of the spoons you used to spend on maximising your daily page count are now spent on actually thinking about what you're reading!

Reading as a kid: "I can tell that this is supposed to be an emotionally moving ending, but I genuinely cannot remember who two-thirds of these characters are."

Reading as an adult: *reads a paragraph* *pauses* *reads the same paragraph again* *flips back and re-reads the preceding page to make sure you didn't misunderstand something* *stares into space for ten minutes as the Implications sink in*

The funnier thing here is that all of these accounts are also bots. Facebook has absolutely lost control.

These bots are constantly producing things based on what is typically liked on Facebook - Anything regarding Jesus, Veterans, Travel, Nature etc

So you end up with bizarro shit like this:

Like, this is dead internet reality rather than theory. An endless reproducing of GenAI shite.

say what you want about AI but it's fascinating to see the pure concepts under the hood come through in the shit it generates. see enough of these images together and you can start to see an outline of the purest distilled essence of Boomer Shit

i went through these the other day on discord just to explain how fucked up things were getting and i think this is my favorite that i found

you could build a religion around this entire phenomenon. or a scp

shrimp heaven now

I love being fat and trans I love how my belly hides my lack of a bulge and how my double chin hides my lack of Adam's Apple and how my boobs don't look like boobs they look like the chest of a fat cis man's I love how me being fat helps me pass better and I love my thighs and my arms and my squishy cheeks and my nose and chin I love being fat and trans

Transition👏doesn't👏require👏weight loss!👏

There is an enormous problem of pressuring people to lose weight and develop eating disorders in trans communities in order to "pass" since for some reason fat people apparently only exist as the gender(s) that a person doesn't want to be. Your post is drastically needed. Thank you

absolutely losing my mind that a bunch of nimby assholes spent $500k to build a sandcastle that was promptly wiped away

ted i really could not disagree more this is far from catastrophic. i am ensconced.

literally selling sand to people who live on the beach. some people's hustle and grift game cannot be overstated. world class shit right here

i love tumblr but i hate that we have been conditioned to think you can’t add some of the most insightful shit you’ve ever seen to absolute shitposts. please by all means reblog my posts with this kind of context because it’s so important. excellent points here.

This linguistic problem is only going to continue getting worse unless we fuck it in the ass now.

Small artists you need to understand that when you see an artist who you think has 'made it' tells you not to worry about the numbers and to not fret about getting more likes than reblogs they are not telling you it because they think you are stupid for caring or because they dont need to network to survive they are very likely telling you that because they have witnessed first hand the way the numbers game tears people to shreds in terms of mental health and motivation

I personally have never been one to get too hung up on numbers or clout because I've always been a very casual artist. But I have seen real lasting effects on others from even tangentially tying worth to the numbers. You can absolutely Make It and be a big artist and still have performance paralysis from The Numbers. Its not healthy, and it sticks with you in a lot of small ways. Im sure there are smug assholes out there about it, but most people telling you stop worrying are doing it because they know the end result. Even if it works and the grind pays off with lots of followers and commissions it is so, so, so easy to make yourself miserable in a myriad of ways creatively. I wish you all success but please, please try to catch this behavior/mindset early and don't let it poison your ability to create

love dungeon meshi senshi's character design bc when he has the helmet on he looks like a fucking pokemon

and then he takes the helmet off and hes just a guy with a face and forehead and everything

edit:

to me he looks like this

hey OP is it alright if i try to doodle that. please

@xeeble PLEASE DO

@ankellysaurus here ya go!