“That sounds like a good idea…….”-“Is there something bothering you with the idea?”-“No, the idea is GOOD…..🙂”

Can someone explain this to me?

Old people use quotation marks to indicate emphasis, as a substitute for italics (which many of them could not produce on the old typewriters they learned to write on), whereas young people use them to indicate sarcasm or falseness. They’re used as “scare quotes”.

And old people use ellipses simply to indicate a pause, or for some other incomprehensible reason I’m not aware of. But young people use ellipses to indicate passive-aggression.

So an old person could type something like:

and what they mean is

But a young person would interpret that sentence as

The linguistic difference across generations is beautifully explained here thank you

I have this problem with my father. Do you know how nerve wracking it is when he sends a message that says “ you should look at this………” and its a picture of our fucking cat?

Ally:

Me, a Zachary Goode stan and fanfic author:

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

…Have you eaten pine needles?

We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

Are they…

You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don’t Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

…I’ll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

god fucking dammit gimme a minute

Enter AERUH and MALUS SYL-VESTRIS, a pair of JESTERS.

AERUH I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine but with a spicy taste.

MALUS                         Art thou to claim that needles base of pine have not a spice?

AERUH A needle base of pine is merely base.

MALUS ‘Tis not when held, comparing, to anthos.

AERUH My dearest Malus, needles thou'st eaten?

MALUS How many moons have we as friends seen rise? How many suns have we as friends seen set? Thou sixteen seasons in my heart I’ve held, and hope that I in thine hast been the same. With brotherhood as rich and old as this, thou needst not ask me such frivolities.

AERUH I know thou likely has, to tell the truth, but I would not assume.

MALUS                       Well, yes, I have. A multitude of types I’ve eaten too. I’ll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange) is single-leaf pinyon.

AERUH                     And it has spice?

MALUS I truly wish that I could tell thee this, but now, i'faith, I cannot fully tell, the difference in classifying thus: to say “has spice” or merely “herbal strength”.

AERUH To tell this tale most clearly it would seem that eating needles from a pine’s required.

MALUS Aye, it would seem that that’s the task at hand, but caution tells that this is what’s to do: eat only needles of the honest pine, and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.

AERUH I’ll eat them all.

MALUS                   I prithee, stay thyself.

AERUH Roulette with leaves.

MALUS                     At least restrain from yew.

AERUH I’ll do my best.

MALUS                That is all can we do. The scholars tell that needles true of pine can be distinguished from the lying yew by sheathlike clothing all along the base; the yew has no such guard.

AERUH                          With this new truth I now will venture out into the wood and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike to stare them down and learn their secret truths.

MALUS With this thou canst at long and weary last Discover for thyself my life’s own path.

Exeunt.

Enter MACDUFF.

MACDUFF. Yo dudes that king there’s dead. Like dead as FUCK.

Hey what the fuck this entire thing scans

Holy Shit

Palpatine looks like an evil Colin Mochrie

but why would you hide this in the tags though

no beans. also hammers cost $500 if u want one

a warning

we have Ten Days

Found important lore on tiktok of all places

OWCA deadass said “yo Heinz we’re sending a platypus to kick your ass. his name is Perry xoxo”

I always assumed that it happened like this:

Perry: (crashes through window)

Doofenshmirz: A platypus?!

Perry: (puts on hat)

Doofenshmirz: A—platypus wearing a fedora?!

(Perry hands Doofenshmirtz a business card. Doofenshmirtz puts on his reading glasses.)

Doofenshmirz: (gasps) PERRY the Platypus!

I hate how in-character this is

this is one of those things that you scroll past and then scroll back up thinking “wait thats hilarious”

Arthur Dodges the Draft

Brooklyn Nine-Nine s03e14

oh to be a blue unicorn living on a deserted island and doing nothing but being Julian…

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: that hotline is forvo.com. It’s a pronunciation dictionary that allows you type in a word and see how it’s pronounced. They have multiple languages as well. Don’t see a word on there that you know how to pronounce? You can totally add it. Visit forvo. Help yourself.

that is much better than a hotline because you don’t have to actually talk to someone