God: where’s Abel?
Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him
It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.
God: Where’s the Sheepkeeper?
Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper?
God: hey where’s Abel???
Cain:
One of my students wrote a very eloquent and well-researched paper for her english class about the unfair advantages and lack of accountability given to student athletes, and she specifically called out how much worse it is with football and basketball, and bruh. People are getting heated over this shit. She spoke nothing but the truth, and the football and basketball teams are PISSED — coaching staff included. Like she legit created a little controversy at our school by calling out the fact that athletics are prioritized over academics. WITH SOURCES.
And what’s funny is she played it smart — not only by giving herself some plausible deniability by writing it about high schools and colleges in general rather than just about our school, but also by calling out the worst sports specifically. She could have left it at ALL student athletes, but by explicitly stating that football and basketball are the worst perpetrators, she won all the other athletes to her side — golf, tennis, swimming, track. Instead of having all student athletes at her throat, she turned everyone against the basketball and football teams.
I’m so proud of her. Nobody listens to teachers when we bring up that half the football team is failing all their classes, but let a fellow student bring it up and everyone’s ready to riot.
Everyone that reblogs this by May 20th, 2019 will get a partner Pokemon assigned to them based on their blog [ all gens ]
MUST HAVE ASK OPEN
everything i have ever known about james charles i’ve had to learn against my own will.
Are you the guy who accidentally wrote tf porn when trying to make a relatable post
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OH WAIT yeah that was me
i cant find it but if you know what im talking about and have a link to it plz reply w/ a screenshot so i can reblog it from u
FOUND IT
thanks! i really hate reading this over again now
Things the lgbt community is doing that make me wish I wasn’t lgbt:
It/its pronouns
He/him lesbians
“Spacesexual genderflux non dysphoric gnc trans boy! (He/she/they/fae)”
“”“"Preferred”“”“ pronouns (they aren’t preferred. I am a guy. You call me he.)
Neopronouns/genders in general……
"I don’t try to pass as a boy but if you misgender me or refuse to date me like a cute yaoi boy you’re transphobic”
Every trans guy is a “smol flower soft boi”
Every trans woman is a “big strong muscle lady wife”
Forcing the queer label on everyone in an act of “reclaiming” it
biden: sir……..the Teens want to change the national economy to communism obama: oh no…..how many signatures are there biden: sir there’s…there’s 100,000 obama: *sheds a tear* then it seems we have no choice…..comrade
Both get hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise for free (or nearly) but one is legal.
enough time has passed on these photos that they feel roughly similar in energy to that photoset of all those dads at some very surreal christmas party
horror stories I think mermaids would make up to scare other mermaids:
*this one is real because it’s a plastic bag
John Mulaney’s horse in the hospital political analogy is this generation’s Animal Farm. In this essay I will
you think being gay is hard??? try telling people youre only attracted to clowns
theres literally no possible response i can make to this where i come out a winner. ive actually never been owned this hard before. i think i legally owe you money now.
fuckin MOOD
I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art
pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…
Asimov’s dialogue is written like
Character 1: [talks for six paragraphs]
Character 2: “Get on with it!”
Character 1: “Ha ha, fuck no.” [continues explaining for eight pages]
Character 2: “If you don’t shut up and get on with it I’m going to leave.”
Character 1: “If you don’t hear what I have to say, you will lose everything and die.”
Character 2: “So can’t you just skip to the important bits?”
Character 1: “No. I am going to tell my entire life story and you are going to sit there and like it.”
It reminds me of when i was reading 20,000 leagues under the sea and there would be points that were just
*two pages of latin names for various sea creatures*
Character 2: Ah, but thats not all! *opens secret door*
Secret door: *reveals more sea creatures*
Character 1: !!!!!!! *lists more sea creatures*
that’s naturalistic dialogue for me
