Beth's Song

Actual footage of me since TTPD dropped. Every song a gut punch. 😭🥺🤣🫶

“Fortnight” lip sync with Taylor Swift aka me pretending to be her because this song could be written about my past failed marriages / relationships. This song is about deconstructing a counterfeit fairytale romance.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship where there’s tons of red flags and know they are there and you need out, this song is for you. You try to fit their image of who they want you to be until you lose so many pieces of yourself, you’re no longer recognizable.

This song has me in a death grip at the same time it’s working through some very deep seated grief that has needed dealt with for a very long time.

So, y’all are going to get some raw and real content about what it’s like to lose yourself in someone in the worst way possible.

“I love you; it’s ruining my life” are lyrics that cut straight to the bone and so relatable. I’m coming back stronger just like Taylor. Music saves lives 🫶

#disclaimeridontwannakillanyone🤣

Okay I’m obsessed with The Tortured Poets Department anthology and after several listens I watched the Fortnight video and my mind is blown.

Follow me into delulu land because I might be onto something.

It started with a black dog in the lab in the video. The Black Dog is on the second part of the album which was a surprise and that was an Easter egg for the album.

So I followed the clues and looked up the lyrics on the song.

Bluegrass Nightmare: The Untimely Death of Aubrey Marie Stowers. This little girl suffered so much at the hands of those who were supposed to protect her. Aubrey, we will make sure you’re not forgotten and justice is served. Fly high sweet angel 😭✨

Only a Bethyler will understand the date I just had. We went graveyard walking; his suggestion and who am I to say no to that??

We held hands and walked and stopped at a few of them. 👀 He told me there was something else I needed to see (don’t worry I’ve known him for years; this is a good story). We walked through the trees and I ended up tripping and twisting my right ankle. 🫠 I about ended up with a serious piggyback ride for real. 🤣

But straight through the trees was two acres of beautiful property: his. He was showing me where he’s getting ready to build.

The moon was hanging high, there was no one around but us on a frosty February night and it was just quite perfect. And yes, he kissed me right there under that moon.

There’s still good people 🥰

This is my scream into the void. This is the only place I feel free to vent my anger and frustration at what happened to me exactly one week ago on October 22, 2023.

It shouldn’t have happened at all. Everything humanly possible was done to try to prevent anything bad from happening but it did anyway.

Long story short? I’ve had a best friend for 12 years. Our kids went to preschool together and we met at a field trip. Our boys hit it off and we did too. She’s been my soul sister ever since.

We’ve been through a lot together; raised our kids as single moms together and also together supported each other with issues with our dysfunctional families. Did y’all know that child abuse often continues after the child becomes an adult? It’s true. And I’ve witnessed my best friend whose alcoholic parents own a bar, thwart her at every turn. Despite that she got away from it and has thrived ever since.

Last weekend, it was her 20th high school reunion. We were reluctant to go anywhere as of six months ago because we simply couldn’t have fun without this one basic bitch trying to find out where we were just to cause problems and drama. Every town has one y’all and she’s ours.

This sort of childish behavior continued over the last year. But we decided we deserved to have one night out and the reunion happened to be at a place this girl never went to. We had a blast! I got to meet her high school friends. We danced ourselves silly.

Around 1:15 am that girl came rolling in with out of town bikers (known as outlaw types); 20 of them. When I say the whole aura of the room shifted; y’all I’m not playing.

Just like every time before when she would show up somewhere, we left out the back exit. 20 scary guys and a gut telling us something was off, we did not head straight home. Our kids were all there sleeping.

Her parents bar we knew had a strict rule about not letting those 1% club members in. They bought the place 10 years ago and made that rule. So we sought refuge there and also were invited by the bartender our friend. We thought we’d be safe there. We were wrong.

Five minutes after we got there, they rolled in. The girl made a big scene. We again decided to leave. I was shoved all the way out the door by the girls friend. I was so mad she was putting her hands on me and shoving me into the door on the way out I didn’t realize we had just walked into a trap.

There in front of our vehicle was those 20 guys and their bikes blocking us in. Oddly, I didn’t feel terror quite yet.

Before we knew what happened, one of the guys punched my friend in the face and she went down against the car she was standing in front of. Me being me, I saw red. Got in the guy’s face and told him what a pu55y he was for hitting a woman and that was my best friend so he may as well hit me too. So he did. 🙄 Yeah I know, probably the dumbest most fearless thing I’ve ever done.

I had been standing in between two parked cars. With the force of the blow I went flying, evidently spun around and landed against one of the cars. I went out for a bit so details were filled in by witnesses.

There was a scuffle I’m told at me being hit as well and someone fell on top of me and in the process my left foot got literally stomped on. I was wearing cute heels but man I wish I had worn my cowgirls instead.

The worst part is that the owner, my friends mom did not enforce their number one rule. She stood there and watched. Egged it on. And refused to let us call 911 for medical help. And was running her mouth when we left.

We weren’t alone. We had two men with us; fairly large guys but it didn’t matter. We could have had 10 and still been outnumbered. Our guys got us out of there. I don’t remember much of that part or immediately afterwards.

I have a severe concussion/ grade 1 TBI from two blows to the head, his fist and concrete, broken toes and deep tissue injury to my left foot and a busted face along with this cool little electric shock I keep getting down my spine. I don’t know what that’s about.

I have been in and out of the hospital and doctors offices for the last week. Filed police reports. Taken out warrants. Talked to the state bureau of investigation. And I’m not even done. It’s hard to focus on the legal aspects when it’s a struggle just to get through a day resting. Anxiety is not even the word I can use to describe how I feel. Traumatized and in shock are probably closer.

I’m having vision problems, memory impairment, gait imbalance, and occasional problems with my speech where I trip over words or cannot think of a common word.

The above pictures are what all it takes for me to get even a modicum of relief from the excruciating pain in my head and my foot. I went from zero meds, daily yoga, and thriving to bedridden and dependent on 6 different medications to cope with this nightmare.

My friend is about the same as me minus broken toes but her jaw was partially dislocated. Not to mention the psychological aspects.

Y’all think good thoughts for me. I have a long road to recovery and a legal battle for Justice. This should not have happened. It’s ridiculous and ludicrous to me that the owner of an establishment would not only let it happen and watch, but do nothing and deny the right to medical care.

Unfairytale

When you break up because he’s a liar and he says: i sTiLL tHiNk wE WerE tHe GrEAtEST LoVE sToRY EvEr Told 🫠

It inspired this:

Once upon a time, there was a princess whose mom sadly and suddenly passed away. The Queen had taken ill and couldn’t recover. The princess was very sad.

Along came a Prince Charming. He escorted her to the funeral and dried all her tears. He REALLY loved her. He brought her flowers. He drove her everywhere in his tiny clown car.

He was there EVERY MINUTE of the day. He loved her so much. She could barely breathe she was so happy. Then she could just barely breathe. Actually she was slowly suffocating.

Then her precious jewels started going missing. He was stealing from her. He even stole the peanut butter and hid it in his clown car. And then her Prince started looking like a pauper. I mean really, he looked a lot like the troll that lived under the bridge she had grown up hearing stories about.

The princess was puzzled at first. And then she became angry. How dare he disguise himself as a Prince when he was nothing more than a monster? And not even a scary monster. He was a dumb derpy looking kind.

Did I forget to mention when her sweet momma died, the princess was crowned Queen of all the land? She was. It was a grand affair but her Prince sat there the whole time like a toad.

So she acted fairly and tried him in a court of his own peers. Well they were mostly her royal friends, but it doesn’t matter. It was still a fair trial. The verdict was delivered swiftly: He was a swine.

She set out a royal decree to make him leave the kingdom at once. Banishment hit him hard and rumor has it, he’s still crying like a little bitch outside the walls.

Now this? This is the greatest love story ever told. And the Queen lived happily ever after. Oh and she burned all his shit in effigy. The end. 😂😂😂😂😂 -

Eliza Payne Clark©