All the things that could have been - Geto Suguru x Reader
Pairing: Geto Suguru x Reader
Warnings: angst, like heavy angst, death, violence, no happy ending
a/n: Seriously, I needed a cigarette after this one.
If that treacherous heart residing within your chest were to thump even for a beat faster it would have exploded in your chest. It echoed in your ears as if your body was a hollow trunk filled only with a heart that pumped blood solely for a purpose of loving Geto Suguru. Everything else ached - your limbs were sore and bloody from the battles that you just finished, your chest burned like the whole hell was stuck in there, and your eyes strained from the sheer amount of tears they shed. You heard an explosion coming from the Jujutsu High’s ground and you picked up your pace. A memory flooded your mind, as clear as if it was unfolding right in front of you.
Young Geto Suguru stood under the old wisteria tree lost in his thoughts. Dressed in a traditional five-piece wedding kimono with the Geto family crest embroidered in it he watched the purple bloom with a small smile on his face. He looked so ethereal under the delicate dance of light and shadow that the gentle breeze created while toying with the cascades of fragrant flowers. You held back your tears or joy because you didn’t want to ruin the intricate makeup on your face. The sound of your sandals brought him back from whatever place he was in and he turned to face you. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes widened at the sight before him - the sight of you in your uro-uchikake, a brightly colored robe intricately embroidered in gold and silver threads.
“You look so beautiful, my love”, he walked towards you with a comforting smile on his handsome face and your heart skipped a beat.
As he leaned down to kiss your forehead he heard something rustle behind you and soon after two tiny faces emerged from under your kimono tail.
“Otosan, we want a kiss too!“ Mimiko and Nanako cried in unison.
Geto laughed loudly before picking them up.
Please, God, let him be alive.
The stench of curses and blood enveloped your senses and you almost threw up as you reached the gates of the place you once considered home. Everything came to a halt as you stopped and concentrated on his cursed energy. It was weak, but it was still present. Oh God, it was still present.
Once again you started running towards the place where you knew he would be, almost tripping over pieces of wall and broken wood structure.
"Suguru!” you screamed as you saw his wobbling form walking down the shadowy alley.
His head snapped in your direction.
“What are you doing here? I told you to retreat if things go south!“ He tried to sound stern but it came out as a raspy breath.
“What have they done to you, my love?” You ran to him with shameless tears pouring down your cheeks.
You inspected a gaping wound on a place where his right hand once was and winced at the sight.
“It is alright, darling. I’m okay”, his tone softened as he looked at your face and slumped against the wall.
“We need to get you to our hideout. I need to start working on you before you lose too much blood”, you wiped your eyes but the tears just wouldn’t stop pouring.
“I’m not coming this time”, he smiled softly and cupped your face with his remaining hand.
“What are you talking about Suguru? Of course you are coming. I’m not going to let you leave me again. I can’t live without you”, you sobbed at his touch.
“You will be alright. You are such a strong woman, my love. I have always admired your strength and resilience”, his thumb circled on your cheek wiping away tears and dirt.
“I don’t want to be strong Suguru. I want to be with you. I want to spend my life with you”, you snapped your head away from his touch and started pouring your cursed energy into his wound in an attempt to stop the blood from gushing out of it.
He didn’t say a word. He just smiled that damned smile of his and closed his eyes sighing contently.
“I will heal you and we will go away from this place and these stupid sorcerers. We will start a new life in Europe. Imagine darling: just you and I roaming through all of Europe, kissing in Paris, making love in Berlin, renewing our wedding vows in Florence. We will get to admire art and nature and life. We won’t care what happens to sorcerers or monkeys or anyone for that matter. I love you”, you babbled while healing his shoulder.
“Darling, Satoru is here”, his voice barely a whisper.
You froze, your hands falling to your side.
Geto Suguru was not an easy man to love. In fact, to everyone else, he was a monster, a wretched excuse of a human being, but to you, he was just Suguru - a man who placed soft kisses on your head almost every night for nearly ten years, a man who danced with you to the sound of various foreign music you loved so much, a man with whom you parented two adopted girls, a man who killed men just because they looked at you the wrong way, a man who never ceased to tell you how much he loved you. Yet, he was also a man from whose clothes you washed off the blood of countless innocent people, a man who believed he was better just because he was born a sorcerer, a man who wanted to destroy the world as you knew it and build a new one according to his twisted fantasies. You stopped trying to change him a long time ago and started loving him for a duality that he carried around.
Embracing the inevitable, you simply sat on Suguru’s lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. His strong arm encircled your waist bringing him closer to you as he talked to Satoru. You paid them no attention as you inhaled Suguru’s scent, for what you knew would be the last time, as you listened to his steady heartbeat. He smelled like that perfume you gifted him with. You smiled finally coming to peace with your destiny. That didn’t stop you from imagining the life you could have lived with the love of your life.
In Naples, Italy, you sat on the floor of a small terrace in a white silk dress while cutting strawberries for a cheesecake with a large kitchen knife. Strawberry juice splashed all over the pretty dress, but you didn’t care. Then Suguru appeared next to you and took your juice-covered hand. He slowly put a finger in his mouth and sucked the juice, looking at you with lust-glazed eyes. The knife fell into your lap, destroying the sensitive material forever. He smiled saying that he would buy you a new one.
Somewhere in Provence, France, you took off your sandals and walked into the house with a bouquet of lavender in one hand, and groceries in the other. You call out Suguru’s name with worry written all over your face after the scent of lavender was overpowered by the smell of something burning. He poked his head out of the kitchen with a guilty smile on his face and an almost charred chicken in his hands. He said that he wanted to surprise you with lunch, but that he didn’t quite succeed.
In Switzerland, in Morcote, you argue about who will go outside to get wood for the fireplace, knowing full well that both of you hate snow. Maybe it’s not because of the snow, but because of the fact that neither of you wanted to look away from Lake Lugano, whose water was being swirled and thrown in all directions by the snowstorm.
There was no death, no sorrow in any of those lives. There was only you, Geto Suguru, and eternal happiness - the one that you never get bored of, the one that fills you up again and again, the one that contradicts human nature.
Suguru’s grip on your waist tightened before he whispered in your ear,
“I love you and I will love you for all of the eternity”
Those were the last words you heard before Satoru grabbed you and threw you down the alley. Everything went black as you fell into numbing unconsciousness.
Satoru walked towards your lying form after he did the most difficult task of his life. As he neared you he felt something extraordinary - your cursed energy was mixing with a new one that he had never felt before. It was the most perfect mix of yours and Suguru’s. He sighed heavily as he placed his hand on your belly. Tears filled Gojo Satoru’s eyes as he, as well, thought of lives that were never going to be lived.
“One day we will meet, little one”, he got up and walked away, the saddest smile engraved on his face.